(Closed) How often do you and your SO fight?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
768 posts
Busy bee

We fight rarely and when we do, we are very respectful of one another. One of the things that I love about him is that he likes to talk about issues calmly and logically.  

 

But I have to admit, I am somewhat sassy at times 

Post # 32
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee

The nastiest I’ve ever gotten was about his God-awful snoring and kicking him out of the bedroom.  We had a few tense moments, he felt rejected, until I had my son tape his nightly noise.  Upon hearing the noise he promptly apologized.

We have disagreed about things and had “lively” discussions, but no screaming, slamming doors or personal insults.  At my age the ONLY drama I want is what I watch in the movies.

Post # 33
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - City Hall!

Fight? Not often at all. I can remember maybe a handful over the 8 years. But bicker? Or disagree? We do probably once a week, once every other week. Normal stuff, like me knowing I”m right and he thinking he’s right. 😉

Post # 34
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 1975

sweetis:  We don’t fight. We will disagree once in a while. Sometimes strong disagreements, as it can be hard to see where he other person is coming from. But it’s a healthy disagreement, we always meet in the middle and work out a compromise. We never fight (no yelling/screaming, mean/hurtful words, ect). 

Post # 35
Member
2348 posts
Buzzing bee

sweetis:  Very rarely. We have little squabbles that last a few minutes maybe once a month, but not full blown fights. We’re not very confrontational, we’re more “sit down and talk about it” types. I can’t stand arguing and fighting, reminds me of my entire childhood. I think people normalize anger and immature fighting behavior to make themselves feel better. I don’t think it’s ever really ok to be like that. 

Post # 36
Member
6372 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

We rarely have disagreements any more.  We’ve been together for almost 25 years and during the 1st half of our relationship we used to fight a lot.  DH and I have both a very strong personality (we’re both Leo, so you can imagine), he resented my independent nature and I resented him trying to control me. With time, we both learned to accept each other and to appreciate all the good stuff that came out of us being together.  Now, being in agreement happens organically, but it took a lot of effort from both of us to get to where we are Today.

Post # 37
Member
33 posts
Newbee

sweetis:  “fight” means different things to different people.   We disagree all the time.  He is his own man and me my own woman.  If we disagree, we never have used personal insults at each other.  We have never hit each other like that football player and his wife.  But we sometimes think the other does something wrong and raise our voices.  Usually it involves a difficult task, lime moving something haRd to move or assemble something.  

Post # 38
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Really big blowouts that are emotional, maybe once a year to a year and a half. Minor disagreements, or “bickering”, which I catagorize as petty, basic stubborn behavior or a clash of personality or disagreement on how something should be done, at least once a week. I’m very stubborn and like to have the last word. But I will always come around and admit when i’m wrong and he does the same. 

Post # 39
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

sweetis:  

We fought like cats and dogs the first two years of marriage. Now we rarely argue and if we do, we get over it pretty quickly. I decided that I would rather be happy than right. I also stopped making every issue a power struggle. My husband started to communicate in a manner which was less passive agggressive. 

Post # 40
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

We have small disagreements I’d say a couple times a month, on rare occasion one of us will make a snarky remark or something in frustration but we’ve never yelled or had a real fight. 

Post # 41
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Ceremony and Reception: Historic mansion on the water

We more or less have minor differences in opinions on things and will voice it but it’s no biggie.  The dooozies happen at most 1 to 2 times a year and takes us a few days to get over it.  It’s my FH style of arguing that draws it out so log.  He shuts down and gets quiet.  I describe it as pouting.  LOL!  I, on the other hand, like to talking until we say what we need to say and just be done with it.  I suppose that has its bad side too in that one may say something when emotions are high that they don’t mean to say.  While he is pouting I am fuming because I hae stuff to say.  It’s a miserable time for both of us.  In any event we always resolve the conflict and come out stonger as a result. 

I do believe healthy arguments are good for a relationship as it helps both parties learn how to resolove conflict, compromise, and grow individually and as a couple.  I also believe if a couple is emotionally committed to each other that will argue as it shows there is a level of caring. If a couple never argues I interpret that to mean “whatever” and I don’t think that is a basis for growth.  

 

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