(Closed) how often do you and your spouse have sex?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

Ours ranges too, sometimes just once or twice and sometimes every day. It depends on work and other things going on. I hate late night sex so I’m rarely in the mood at night. I like the afternoon better, but we both work during the day. 

Post # 4
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We are usually every other day. 

Post # 5
Member
983 posts
Busy bee

Usually every day, except that time of month…but resort to other pleasurable means.

Post # 6
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I feel like a bad wife too. Was a virgin like you… Darling Husband waited a few years while we dated. Our frequency differs depending on what’s going on. He has 2 boys that are with us full-time and take up a lot of time and energy. Adjusting to being a newlywed and stepmom… try to make time because he’s a good, hardworking guy!

Post # 7
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’d suggest having a conversation with your husband. Communicating about frequency and quality of your intimate life will go a long way. My guess is that he’s perfectly happy with 4x a week ;), and if he isn’t, you can talk about it and figure out what frequency you both are ok with. Then you won’t feel guilty! 🙂 A good time to talk about it is after…when you’re snuggled up and happy.

We’re 2x a week and happy with it. We’re also both in our 30s.

Post # 8
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Ours varies as well, so many outside influences (work, kids, etc). But I’m very conscious about not letting it go to long, sex is important!

Post # 9
Member
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We usually have sex every other day except for that time of the month. But of course it varies with how busy we are and how exhausted we are.

Post # 10
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t know what one would consider “normal” really. As I go further along in my pregnancy, I am off put by it as I feel like a huge cow, so now probably three times a week. Earlier in the pregnancy and before, it was nearly everyday, sometimes twice a day…

Background: We have been together over 5 years. We were not virgins.

Post # 11
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

every two days exvept when his into a game. then it might be a week or two.

Post # 12
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Don’t feel bad! I think you will see that answers to this question are really really variable. In my case we are both 27, he works part time and goes to school full time and has an hour commute, while I work full time and go to school part time and have a half hour commute. Sometimes we only have sex maybe once a month – we both have a lot of schoolwork, work hours don’t line up, stress gets to us and we need alone time/down time, or one wants it and the other doesn’t. For us right now if we have sex once a week, that’s a lot! I’m also on hormonal BC which doesn’t do great things for my sex drive. But while we both wish we had sex a bit more often, we are both really happy with each other and the relationship – we know it’s something that will work itself out.

So (1) four times a week sounds like a ton to me : ) and (2) just look at how much you are thinking about this – you’re showing concern for your partner’s needs and the health of your relationship. I for sure don’t think you are a bad wife and I bet your partner doesn’t either : ) Best wishes to you both!

Post # 13
Member
6210 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

It depends on how much we have going on but it usually ranges from 1-4

Post # 14
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Some weeks 3-4 times, other times we may go for a week or so with nothing. Either way, I know we’re both happy and ok with the amount.

There’s really no “magic number” that makes a healthy amount of sex in your relationship….it’s truly whatever satisfies you and your Darling Husband.  Don’t stick to a number, stick to the feelings. 

Post # 15
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

@MadTownGirl:  There’s really no “magic number” that makes a healthy amount of sex in your relationship….it’s truly whatever satisfies you and your Darling Husband.  Don’t stick to a number, stick to the feelings. 

That is so true!!!

I started tracking our frequency once I got an app to track my cycle. Turns out, it’s only 2 or 3 times a week, and sometime 2 weeks in between.  That said, I never, ever turn him down when he does the things that let me know he’s in the mood. There are times I’ll try to initiate and he turns me down. I don’t like that feeling of rejection, so I don’t initiate as often anymore but I always make sure I have nice, matching lingerie, we both keep ourselves slim and attractive, and we are always touching each other affectionately, etc. If he’s happy with the quantity, and I’m happy, then that’s all that matters. It’s when someone has a lot of sexual frustration, or gets more attention from strangers than their partner that people start to feel unsatisfied.

Post # 16
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Once or twice a week.  We both have fairly low sex drives and this works for us.

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