(Closed) How often do you fight?

posted 6 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Fiance and I have never really had a fight… Maybe one or two mild disagreements, but we are REALLY good about talking through everything that is going on with our relationship. 

We see each other every 3 months or so.

I don’t really think there is any difference between when we are apart or together.

 

Post # 5
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Oh yeah, I get down about the distance quite often, especially on the weekends when my son is with his dad.

Normally, I would try to keep my feelings to myself, but Fiance wouldn’t have that.  I find often times when he gives up on trying to get me to talk, I just spill it,

He has a lot more experience with long distance than I do , so that helps.

Has he ever said things like that to you before? That is pretty messed up if you ask me.

Do you guys have a timeline for when you will get to be together full time?

Post # 6
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@OrchidsandCandles: My husband and I fight at times and it’s always worse LD than in person. We’ve been in a LDR for 6+ years now and are still LD even now that we’re married. We see each other maybe once a year (a few weeks out of the year if that). At some points, we’ll fight about every 3 days at others we can go a few months or so without fighting. The fights are never anything too serious but mostly because we’re not together. He’s usually very busy (work, gym, training). When he finally gets a chance to relax and call me he’s usually watching tv at the same time and he’s horrible at multitasking so I can feel a bit ignored and that’s normally how the fights start. We always talk through it though and we both know that it’s the LD because there is never that problem when we’re together.

The LD actually gets us both down at times, sometimes it hits him harder than me, but we never think about ending things just because of the distance (there would be too many what ifs or how would it be if) and we always talk openly about how we feel (which can be somewhat hard for him because he’s what I call a “Mans Man” and learned at a very young age that men weren’t supposed to share feelings).

Your SO’s response to you telling him your feelings doesn’t seem right. You should be able to talk to him about feeling sad that you’re not together or any other feelings you have (I would think he would be feeling the same). Isn’t that what a SO should be? Your best friend, the one person in the world who understands you and completely knows who you are, the one person who will always be there for you and be by your side.

Post # 7
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@OrchidsandCandles: When my Fiance and I lived 2 hours apart things were difficult. I know this is not like you and your fiance living in different countries, but with our schedules it was difficult to see one another. We really don’t fight… we get in occasionally disagreements but always talk it out. With my ex I would go nuts and yell and scream and that was definitely the WRONG way to handle things! Now when we occasionally argue (maybe once every few months? a handful of times a year?) I let myself “cool off” for a bit and he always will realize what he did that was wrong and I am ready to calmly discuss at that point. Not that I don’t ever do things wrong, but if I do I admit it right away before an argument could happen,lol!

Post # 9
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee

Ooops, posted on the wrong board.

Post # 10
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee

We really don’t fight.  Once in a great while we will have disagreements, but we always have to talk them out, on the phone.  We text/IM a lot throughout the day, but talk on the phone at least daily.  If we ever have anything serious to talk/disagree about, it is ALWAYS vie the phone and never via text/IM.  Yes, I do get down about the distance sometimes, but I am able to talk it out with him.  It is worse when we are apart, but again, we don’t have a lot of disagreements.

We get to see each other on weekends, a couple times a month.   

Post # 11
Member
515 posts
Busy bee

We don’t fight that much. In 2011, we saw each other 3 times. 2 times were for 3.5 days each, and the 3rd time was for a week before I had to go to my duty station. We’re getting married on paper when I get midtour leave, and then when I return stateside for good, we’re having the actual ceremony and reception.

We fight more often when we’re apart, but it’s mostly due to the stress of the military and rarely seeing each other. Now that we have a relative idea of when we’ll be together for good (minus deployments, etc) we don’t fight at all. We just talk about the wedding and all the details, what our house/apartment will be like, how we’ll decorate it, how excited we are to finally be able to be stationed together, etc.

Post # 12
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

The fighting definitely gets worse when we’re together! But what’s weird is I don’t mind it all that much. It makes me feel good that we can be so open with each other when we don’t talk all that much when we’re apart. We had two pretty big arguments when I visited, but weirdly enough they reaffirmed my faith in our relationship.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand that’s how I know he’s the one 😉 haha!

 

ETA: Last time we went 4 months without seeing each other, this time it will be a little under 3 months. We see each other for a week each time.

Post # 13
Member
740 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

We fight alot more in person than we ever did over the net LOL

but its all good 🙂 i like the make up dinners im cooked lol

Post # 14
Member
95 posts
Worker bee

Im in a LDR and I see my SO barely once a month. My SO and I use to fight all the time but I think it was due to the fact we were missing eachother and didnt know how to express it. Another reason we argues was because we would talk all day long I guess to make up the time we don’t have in person. It was so bad that when we saw eachother our fighting would so kill the mood. But we had a sit down about it and express how we are feeling about the LDR and that its only temp and we need to enjoy the moment we were have with each. So we give each other space now because not enough space can cause fighting. And we try to make the LDR fun. You guys just have to keep in mind that it may be tough but you guys love each other and its only temp. I do get really bummed out sometimes about the LDR but I have to remember we are LD for a season I don’t know what yours is but Im in a LDR because Im in school which is the bigger picture in the end. Another thing as women we handle things a little diffrent than men. We may cry but they may lash out with anger because they don’t want to cry or express how they really feel. You should talk to him about it and how its not ok for him to hurt your feelings and try to find things to get your mind off the LDR and try to make it fun. When you talk to him make sure you go about it the right way it may be the way you talk to him that he go into emotionally over load We are in a better age these days we have skype and cellphones. Hope this help PM me if you need advice.

Post # 15
Member
95 posts
Worker bee

Im in a LDR and I see my SO barely once a month. My SO and I use to fight all the time but I think it was due to the fact we were missing eachother and didnt know how to express it. Another reason we argues was because we would talk all day long I guess to make up the time we don’t have in person. It was so bad that when we saw eachother our fighting would so kill the mood. But we had a sit down about it and express how we are feeling about the LDR and that its only temp and we need to enjoy the moment we were have with each. So we give each other space now because not enough space can cause fighting. And we try to make the LDR fun. You guys just have to keep in mind that it may be tough but you guys love each other and its only temp. I do get really bummed out sometimes about the LDR but I have to remember we are LD for a season I don’t know what yours is but Im in a LDR because Im in school which is the bigger picture in the end. Another thing as women we handle things a little diffrent than men. We may cry but they may lash out with anger because they don’t want to cry or express how they really feel. You should talk to him about it and how its not ok for him to hurt your feelings and try to find things to get your mind off the LDR and try to make it fun. When you talk to him make sure you go about it the right way it may be the way you talk to him that he go into emotionally over load We are in a better age these days we have skype and cellphones. Hope this help PM me if you need advice.

Post # 16
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I am in a LDR and my SO and I see each other roughly one weekend per month. We rarely fight, whether we are in the same city or far apart. I attribute this to our great communication skills. Things are just, how shall I put this, “easy”, you know? It’s just so easy to be in this relationship, no matter the distance. We always talk openly about things, and we feel free to express ourselves.

Now, in the past, I was in a LDR with a guy who I always fought with. I don’t know why I ever put up with him for as long as I did, honestly. So dramatic, manipulative, needy and sometimes downright mean. Wow, how my eyes have been opened since I’ve had a man who cherishes and respects me, and loves me for all the right reasons!!

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