(Closed) How often do you fight?

posted 8 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 17
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@OrchidsandCandles:  I see my fiance about as often as you do, and i think the stress of being so far apart and seeing eachother so infrequently for sure causes added stress to a relationship. So I wouldnt feel bad about it, happens to most imo

Post # 18
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee

I’m a feisty capricorn!  My boyfriend (soon to be fiance) and I argue quite a bit.. mostly because of me. I can’t help it! Especially when I PMS haha. We hardly ever have major fights. When we do.. its usually me getting really upset (because he lied or something stupid) and then he spends the time trying to calm me down by overwhelming me with sweet things. (which pisses me off at first but I always give in.) Honestly, I’m very lucky. I can be a complete bitch, and if he wanted to call me names or something I would totally deserve it.. but he is a gentleman. We’ve been together for just about 4 years and he has never called me a mean name.. he always makes sure that he calms me down and things are good after that. We hardly ever fight when we are together but the distance isn’t always an easy thing to handle. Just be open about your issues with eachother or else they will eat away at you. (Obviously I’m quite verbal with my man ahaha if something bothers me, he is the first to know.)

Post # 19
Member
29 posts
Newbee

@OrchidsandCandles:  My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I aren’t that far apart so we see each other about one weekend a month. Its hard but we make it work. We hardly ever fight because I’m a talker so I always try and express my feelings before they escalate and he is so lenient and relaxed that hardly anything bothers him.

What your SO said to you really shocked me. I know you said he appologized, but in my opinion, that’s not enough. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship before my current one and I had a flashback to that when I read your story. It was LDR as well, because of school (like my current one), but we would fight ALL THE TIME. In fact, we broke up a few times and each time we mended our relationship, I thought it meant we were good together and strong and meant to be. I failed to see that it was really a sign of how unhappy we were. We weren’t good for each other at all but I couldn’t see that until I was finally free of him.

Now I’m not saying your SO is emotionally abusive! But I think maybe you should look deeper into your relationship and see if maybe there’s any underlying issues besides simply he distance. I think, no matter how badly a couple fights, if they truly are happy and healthy, neither one of them should EVER threaten separation.

Good lucky with everything.

Post # 20
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We were long distance for the first 1.5 of our now 11 year relationship.

Typically, one of us traveled every month.  Only once were we unable to make this happen.  But, depending on our schedules sometimes it was three weeks between visits and sometimes almost eight weeks (beginning of the month to the end of the next.)

Our fights were pretty predictable.  If it was a time when we were apart for an extended period of time, we fought.  If we had a really long weekend to see each other, we fought.  It was like missing each other, adjusting to being commited without a physical connection, adjusting to being in the same space during visits, adjusting to separating again. 

Then, the long distance was over and we fight maybe……once a quarter? Once every six months? And it’s for about 10 minutes.  We just don’t fight that much.

Post # 21
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Humm… Like once a month? I don’t actually know. We never fight. But the few times we have are loud and def clearing the air. 

Post # 22
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly? My Fiance and I pretty much never fight. Earlier in our relationship, maybe once a year. But now it’s very rare, when we are in LD or not. We are pretty good at communicating everything before things ever blow up into an argument.

Sometimes I get touchy when it’s that time of the month though haha. But it’s never about anything worthwhile and he knows to watch out when I’m having that time of the month. Haha he is a very good sport.

We see each other maybe once every three months. But starting in may we won’t be long distance anymore!! First time in our relationship of 4 years! So excited.

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