(Closed) How often do you “fight” about money?

posted 7 years ago in Money
  • poll:
    All the time : (5 votes)
    3 %
    Never : (91 votes)
    58 %
    Occasionaly : (53 votes)
    34 %
    Several times a month : (9 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    2559 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Almost never. But when we combined finances, we had a little power struggle (as in, he’d comment on me going out to lunch which pissed me off, or he wanted to put more in savings than I did). Two years later, we pretty much have it down re: how much $ we spend and how much we save, thank goodness.

    ETA: Our biggest problem was just figuring out a budget to work with, nothing specific like a house since we don’t want one anytime soon.

    Post # 4
    1327 posts
    Bumble bee

    The only time we have ever fought about money was when FI’s family kept wanting to “borrow” it. Other then that it has never been an issue, well besides me telling Fiance to make more lol :P.

    Post # 5
    5668 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Eh, occasionally over wedding budget stuff. I think most of it is him making innocent comments and being observant and I take it as an attack and get defensive. He makes about double what I do and sometimes I’m insecure about it.

    Post # 6
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We are both savers, so we’ve never fought over money. I pretty much make all the decisions and he trusts me.

    I’ve learned to never gripe over small things. Once a month I send him the account balances and what we spent money on email. I’ll point out areas we need to work on (like spending $800 on groceries in a month!) and we’ll work to correct it. We both make around the same amount of money, so it’s not a big deal if he buys something or if I buy something.

    Post # 7
    3624 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Never. We are on a budget that we’re both aware of. We’re both debt free (minus our mortgage) and we both talk about big ticket items. Not one of the entertainment pieces (aside from a movie here or there) have been bought with our money. We spend gift money on all big items. We save for anything we want. We both have a clear understanding of our money spending habits and luckily we’re on the same page money spending wise.

    Post # 8
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012


    We have not fought about money yet.  Actually we haven’t really had any fights in our 3+ years.  A comple misunderstandings but we’re able to talk rationally and come to a solution.


    Have you guys kept track of your spending (going to take a few months) and see where the money is going every month? 

    What was the last fight about specifically?


    Post # 10
    1830 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We never fight about money.  I’m currently a Stay-At-Home Wife so all the money coming in is from DH’s salary and we have joint bank accounts and credit cards.  DH also created an annual budget spreadsheet so we can figure out how much we’re saving annually but we don’t strictly adhere to it; it’s more of a guide so we can see how much we’re banking for our next move overseas. 

    We both have bank accounts in the UK that haven’t been made joint accounts yet, primarily because they’re frozen from lack of recent use, and I also have bank accounts in the US that Darling Husband is on but never uses.  We are very trusting and comfortable in sharing our finances and it has never been an issue for us.  DH makes most of the financial decisions and I’m fine with that as he has a strong interest in investing and I could care less.

    We have very similar spending habits which also greatly reduces the need for us to argue over money.  We like our nice meals out, the occasional bottle of wine or cold beers (not now though as I’m currently expecting our first baby!), and by far, our biggest expenditure is on travel – but that’s what is most important to us (in terms of ‘luxury’ items).

    I felt a bit weird not working and felt as though I was using DH’s money for a while but I got over it.  Had we not just moved for DH’s work, I would be working right now, but with our recent move and the baby on the way, it’s not practical for me to get a job right now.  I don’t spend money superfluously though, and neither does Darling Husband as that’s just not either of our personalities.  We also enjoy living debt free (with the exception of our minimal student loans with a very low interest rate that we’re happy to hold onto for a while).  

    We are extremely fortunate in that DH’s salary is more than comfortable for the two of us to live on, which probably greatly reduces the potential for an argument over money, although we don’t really argue about anything so who knows?  

    Post # 11
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @Angelz_love: So he took money from your joint savings, put it in the checking to cover bills (I’m assuming they needed to be covered anyway?) but then also said, “See there is enough for me to go to Vegas now!”  So he tranferred more than needed to cover bills?

    It sounds like you two have to come together about what amount is to be saved (name a value and agree upon it) and also what it is to be used for.  What about back up months of living expenses?

    If he’s unemployed, I personally don’t think it’s a good time to be taking trips to Vegas.  Does he feel it’s a good idea to go even without a job and taking away from needed savings?  Do you think he’s irresonsible with money?  Or he’s good with money and just feels he deserves a trip?

    Do you think you two just have different ideas for what the money is for?  Is that the bulk of the arguments?

    Do you sit down and talk about/outline money goals?  How does that go?


    Feeling like the person you’re marrying it tricking/duping you is not a good feeling and I hope it can get straighted out.

    Post # 12
    10573 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Almost never.  When we do, it isn’t about anything major, it will be when we’re shopping together and one person thinks a product is overpriced and the other thinks we should get it.  For the most part, we’re on the same page when it comes to money.

    Post # 13
    5371 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    Almost never. We’re both on the same page and have talked out our expectations and goals. The only time we ever argue is when we’re talking about things like buying a car (we’re both in the middle of our undergrad and so bigger things like that take a lot more discussion, especially with the future wedding).

    Post # 14
    899 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    It’s weird. When we were both working (he has been unemployed since March), and he had a VERY good paying job, we fought CONSTANTLY about money. We fought to the point that we almost broke up a few times. Since he got laid off and I was laid off and then went back to my first ever job, and then moved on to another job from there, we only fight about money if we are down to our last ten bucks and he wants a pack of cigarettes.

    Post # 15
    1944 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    We never fight about money and never have since combining everything almost 3 years ago. We are debt free and have a pretty comfortable income but I feel there’s always room for improvement. I’m the stressor of our relationship and always worry about money today, tomorrow, 10 years from now etc., so I tend to nit pick at stuff more than I should. In all fairness though, I will be going from working FT to PRN in June so that I can complete the last 2 qtrs of my RN program and even though we have the savings, I’m stressed hard core about it!

    Post # 16
    3776 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2004

    Never.  We decided a lot time ago that money is not worth fighting with each other.

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