How often do you get professional photos with your DH?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 16
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

I don’t get the appeal of staged photoshoots. We don’t even want a couples photo session at our wedding, we would rather have candids of the day that show the day authentically, as at actually happens. When you look back at staged photos it doesn’t actually show any window into your lives at that time, just the moments the photos were taken. I’m with your husband about Paris – I would be gutted to spend time posing for photos in front of a stranger when I could be actually SEEING the city. Can’t you get a selfie stick? I think if you are on the same page about all these photoshoots then absolutely, you do you. But if your husband isn’t into it like you are it seems kind of unfair to lug him into them all, especially when you are on holiday and should (in my opinion) be deciding together how you spend that time.

Post # 17
Member
216 posts
Helper bee

Never is the short answer.    If you both wanted it, great do it as often as you want.    To make a grown adult who doesn’t like it seems a little ott.   Would you fell good about them knowing that when he looks at them he remembers how much he didn’t want to do it, how much it cost and how many hours it took away from your vacation?

Post # 18
Member
9197 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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kaligirl1102 :  “having Eiffel Tower photos has always been my DREAM” — I think there is some insight to be gained here by asking yourself why the dream isn’t “to see the Eiffel Tower” but rather “to get my picture taken”. Why would you rather spend hours getting your hair and makeup done and then staging poses, instead of actually looking at the wonder behind you and walking around this magical city full of history and beauty. What will those pictures prove, and why do you valule that more than an actual experience?

Post # 19
Member
7530 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Every year.

As a professional photographer I’m probably a little biased but I just hold an extremely high value on professional quality photos. Some people love clothes/shopping, getting their hair/nails done, golf, or other hobbies – and are happy to spend their money on those things. Most of my friends get a new car every 2 years because they think it’s important to always be in a new car. While I find it unnecessary and am still driving the same 2012 car I bought brand new that year, I certainly don’t tell them that or give them grief about it. How they want to spend their money isn’t my business. Would a new car be nice? Sure, but it’s not a priority to me. I love photography and having great quality photos is important to me and worth the money. Everyone has different priorities and there is nothing wrong with not caring about photos.

Traditionally (even before we were married) we would do photos once a year for Christmas cards. DH hates having his photo taken but it’s one of the areas that he has learned he has to just suck it up and deal – because a relationship is compromise and he knows this is the ONE thing that’s very very important to me. I don’t ask much of him, except that we have professional photos taken at least once a year. 

Now that we have a child it’s become even more important to me, and we’ll likely do two sessions a year. This spring we did a family session with one of my favorite photographers, with the goal of having great photos but also images for large canvases in our new home. We’ll probably do another quick session this fall specifically for a Christmas card. 

No one bats an eye when a “family” has photos taken each year, but people loooove to side-eye when a couple does. The problem with that mentality is that who are any of us to judge what someone considers their family to look like? 

Post # 20
Member
787 posts
Busy bee

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starfish0116 :  i think the reason more people are ok with families taking pictures is because kids change a lot year to year but a couple does not necessarily change that much. I def consider me, hubby and our dog as a family but we don’t change yearly enough to me personally warrent professional pics. We do take pics on vacation etc. 

Post # 21
Member
7530 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

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ashleyroo :  I get what you’re saying, I guess my point is more that a child-free couple (either by choice or because they just haven’t had kids yet) isn’t any less a family than someone who has kids. And if they want yearly professional photos to document each year of their lives together it shouldn’t be seen as unnecessary or excessive. 

Post # 22
Member
9540 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We did a fall mini session with our baby last year for first holiday cards and might do the same this year. Never did any pro shoot with dh alone. I’d find annual pro couple sessions OTT.

 

ETA: I don’t think saying “photography is [your] obsession” is quite accurate here — when someone says they love photography, it’s more about them taking photos than sitting for them.

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  Grid.
Post # 23
Member
9197 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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starfish0116 :  “who are any of us to judge what someone considers their family to look like?” — For me, it’s not a matter of judging someone’s family. I absolutely believe two people are a complete family. One person can be a complete family. It’s more a matter of, children are going to change. It’s not weird to take pictures of and with kids because they are going to change and you want to capture what they look like at various stages. Yes, adults age and change too, but it’s no where near the same. When adults get professional pictures done, I am not judging their status as a family, more like wondering why they need to see their own face so often. It’s totally harmless and I’d never say anything to them, but just seems a bit self-indulgent to me. I know what I look like and so does everyone else that I care about, why do I need to hire someone to take pictures. 

I can see a difference if you’re a professional photographer yourself. Most hair stylists I see have perfect hair. All of the dentists I know have really nice teeth, my librarian friend has shelves of old classics and new releases. So it’s not surprising that a photographer would get photos done on the regular. But other people, I would just (quietly, to myself) wonder why they need to see their own face on the wall. 

Post # 24
Member
13913 posts
Honey Beekeeper

With the exception of a family wedding, and even then it’s with our children, never. 

Post # 25
Member
5265 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

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starfish0116 :  No one bats an eye when a “family” has photos taken each year, but people loooove to side-eye when a couple does. 

I don’t think that is true, I personally still think it is weird for a family to take staged professional photos every single year and I’m sure others do to.  This hasn’t got anything to do with couples not being viewed as a family. 

Post # 26
Member
3843 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

Only pro pics are from our wedding. We might do pro pics for any future babies, but not outside of that. Generally speaking if I’m not capturing a genuine moment in time, I don’t want a photo of it. Even at our wedding we had a total of maybe 45 minutes of “staged” shots and the rest were candids, and the candids are hands down my favorite.

Post # 27
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Not a thing for my husband or I. We love art so we put up art in our house, just one wedding pic in our study. Neither one of us likes tons of photos of ourselves in our house. It’s just not our thing at all. Esp sessions where I would get hair/make up done and the photos are staged. But obviously people are different and I assume your husband knew about this “obession” of yours when he married you? Maybe ease up a bit and do it once every two years or so? That seems a bit more tolerable for him? Or could you just hve photos of yourself taken since you like it and he doesn’t? It doesn’t seem very nice to treat him like a prop!

Post # 28
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2021

I’m judging anyone, but I find staged photo shoots a bit cringe and over the top. I hate first look and engagement photo shoots even though I know they’re popular in the US. I suppose I just don’t see the point since the whole the situation is just set up just for a photo op. So yeah I’m with your fiancé on this one. 

Post # 29
Member
7866 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

In my previous 20 year marriage just once–on our wedding day. Future hubs and I have never had professional photos taken and probably won’t until our wedding day. 

I can see the appeal of doing them every decade but every year or so with pro hair and makeup seems OTT. I’d rather spend that money on another trip and catch some candids on my phone. 

Post # 30
Member
7425 posts
Busy Beekeeper

We are not into professional photos at all. I actually hate most of our wedding photos and pretty much all of our engagement photos because I feel like we don’t look natural in them and I hate that. We have an 8 month old baby and haven’t gotten any pro photos of her yet either, though I do kind of want to do that.

That being said…if photography is your passion then I think you should go for it and your husband should try to accommodate you, within resaon. It’s not like you’re asking him to do this every week or even every month…I’m imagining it’s like an hour or two of his time once or twice a year? What is the big deal? Unless money is tight or something of course.

You’re getting a lot of judgy comments, but I don’t see splurging on pro photos every year or so any different than other hobby type things couples spend money on. So I say go for it if it makes you happy. 

ETA: Just wanted to add that while we don’t do pro photos, I do take tons of photos on my phone and I try to have photo books printed periodically. I did one of our honeymoon and our first year of marriage, and I love looking back on those. I actually just ordered a photo book documenting my pregnancy as well. So I definitely see the value of that even though for me personally, having them professionally done isn’t necessary.

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