Post # 1
How often do you see your parents/inlaws? Are you close? I am closest to my mom. She was a single mom and raised me with very little help from my dad. I lived with her throughout my 20s so she and i are very close. We talk daily, and usually see eachother once a week or once every 2 weeks. Fiance also close to his parents and siblings. We see them about the same. Everyone lives closeby. We’re actually planning a summer beach vacation with my fiance’s family and my mom. But in no way would i do that with my dad’s family. They are too difficult of people to vacation with.
Different story with my dad. Very traumatic childhood with him once he remarried. Been 20 years and even after all that time i don’t have much of a relationship with my dad’s wife or his stepdaughter. Stepmom and I do not get along although she likes to put on a show for Dad’s relatives hugging me and acting like we’re close, which makes me absolutely sick. I see my stepmother and stepsister once a year at christmas. They don’t contact me, and i don’t contact them(always been that way), but at christmas my stepmom wants to play “big happy family” and pretend everyone’s so close, calling me her daughter, ect. She’s all talk, but no action. Wants everyone to think we’re close, but never has worked at a relationship. Distance wise, we’re also very close to them about 15 minutes but only see my dad’s wife and stepdaughter once a year. Dad i have a bit more of a relationship. I might see him once a month or so. But he can be very difficult to get along with as well, so i try to limit how much i’m around him as well, although i can tolerate him more than i can tolerate his wife.
Post # 3
@Allie99: We see SO’s parents every weekend at least, for a family dinner. They live in the same city. My parents live about 2,000 kilometres away but we still see them every 3 months on average. We are both very close to our own parents and each other’s parents and we truly love spending time with family as much as possible.
ETA: We just had a vacation to Maui with my parents and it was fantastic! We are thinking of going back for our honeymooon, and we will most likely tell our families to come along as well and we can make a family vacay of it.
Post # 4
We’re an hour away from partner’s parents and we see them once every couple of months. My family lives seven hours away and we visit once a month … it seems backwards, but I am just much closer with my family then he is with his. I told him when I moved to Chicago that I needed to see my family at least once a month for it to work for me. Partner has been incredibly sweet about it — luckily, he loves my family. If I lived closer to my family, I’d see them at least once a week.
And OP — a bit like you (but the opposite), when I say my family, I actually mean my father and stepmother. I do not have much of a relationship with my mother anymore and I don’t know her husband at all. I see them whenever my mom needs a sudden favor (she lives in Minnesota, so luckily it’s not that often … but she does have a tendency to suddenly be in Chicago without prior notice and needing something).
Post # 5
My stepmother seems to think years married to my dad and her title of “stepmother” makes us close. No, building a relationship does, which neither of us did. I’m as close to her as i am to distant cousins. Her calling me her daughter and pretending to be a “parent” just for appearances i find so incredibly insulting. It would be different if she went out of her way to forge a good relationship with me. She just wants my dad’s family (who also don’t like her) to think she and i are close. She was absolutely furious when she found out i told an aunt and cousin i only see her once a year. Umm, its the truth, but apparently she had been telling my dad’s family how close we are and how we get together all the time, so my telling the truth showed that she had been lying for years.
Post # 6
I’m not super close with my family. We love each other, but I’m just not as attached as some I guess. I also live in South Korea, and they live on the east coast, USA. When I lived a state away I saw them maybe once a year. When I see them this summer it’ll be the first time in a year and a half. I don’t have the money or time to visit very often. (Same goes with FH’s family.) Neither of us are emotional about it.
Post # 7
I see my parents about 3-4 times a year since they’re in LA, and I live in TX. I’m really close with my dad, not so much with mom. DH and I are planning to move this summer to Phoenix where his family is lives. When we move, we’ll probably see his family about 2-3 times week because they’re a really tight knit family, and everyone gets along very well. It’ll be an adjustment for sure!
Post # 8
We live exactly 1 mile from my MIL/FIL and we see them usually about twice a week. They are very respectful of the close proximity and we appreciate that.
My family lives about 500+ miles away so we see them about every three months or so. With the passing of my grandfather last month I had the pleasure of seeing my family several times within March and April and it reminded me of how much I miss them during those month long breaks.
Post # 9
@Allie99: I am closest to my mother, though I only see her once a year as I live accross the country. I haven’t seen my dad in two years, even though he only lives 4 hours away. Your relationship with your dad is similar to mine, and are you sure you’re not talking about MY step-mother, lol! My In-laws are absolutely amazing, and we live in the same town so we get toghether a few times a month.
Post # 10
we see my parents a lot more than his, purely because of distance. FI’s parents are in seattle, we’re in buffalo ny. my parents are outside of boston. we’ll actually be moving back and moving into my parents’ house in july. we see my parents every few months. it’s a long drive back, but it’s doable. Fiance hasn’t seen his parents since last summer. but we’ll hopefully see them this coming fall, they’re coming to visit and meet my parents. so that’ll be nice. for holidays, we’re going to alternate. like, last christmas was spent with my parents. so this christmas will be with his. we’ll switch off. it’s the only fair way. at least for now. once we settle and have a family, we’ll have to figure out a different way. but yeah.
Post # 11
We live about an hour away from FIs family, and see his parents (currently splitting up) about once every two or three months. It’s been a rough time for his family, and he tries to keep his distance from the craziness.
Post # 12
I see my mother a couple of times a year at family gatherings. We have a very strained relationship (her fault), so I try to keep our interactions to a minimum. My dad passed away a few years ago.
We live within 5-10 minutes of both Future Mother-In-Law and FFIL/FSMIL, and we see them pretty frequently. Future Mother-In-Law we see every weekend. Future Father-In-Law + family we see less than that, but still a lot. Good thing I love Future In-Laws. 🙂
Post # 13
@Allie99: I usually see my dad at least once a week because I go to my sister’s to babysit my nephew & dad will stop by after work. SO sees my dad maybe once every other month or so.
I tried to push for us to go visit SO’s family once a month, but it hasn’t worked out as well as I’d hoped. He doesn’t FIGHT with his sisters, but they aren’t close either. Being very close to my family, it was hard for me to get used to their dynamic. Still, we probably see them about once every other month, too.
Post # 14
I’m very close with my mom. She lives about 13 miles away, so visiting each other isn’t terrbly difficult. If I weren’t feeling like complete and total crap at the moment, I’d be going over to her house to watch one of the last hockey games of the season. As it is, I will see her Wednesday and Friday for home games (season tickets) and Saturday for the last game (which is an away game, so we’ll be going to the sports bar and overloading on all sorts of delicious things that we shouldn’t be eating). Some weeks, I don’t see her at all. But other weeks, I see her daily. And my husband always has a standing invitation to come with me, or meet me there if he wants to get out of the house for something simple and low key. We’re a pretty easy family to please and entertain, so getting together to play or learn a new card game, or teach the husband something he hasn’t played before (which is like EVERYTHING — honestly, it never occurred to me that anyone was raised without a heavy focus on cards and board games until we got together). As for his parents, I’ve met his dad once and I haven’t met his mom.
Post # 15
I hardly get to see my parents. they live on the other side of the planet. my in-laws are about 4 hours away, and we do see them more often. I haven’t seen them for 2013 yet, and the last time DH saw them was in January.
Post # 16
I’m not that far from my parents only about 25 min but I see them maybe once a week or once every 2 weeks it depends. I’m not super close to either of my parents…my dad I have his personality and we will talk about work and with my mom we will talk but some subjects I’ll stay away from because she is just too old school sometimes and can never accept that things or people change so to avoid an argument I don’t talk about a lot of stuff! Wish I could but I can’t
FH parents are divorced and he was raised by his mom and lives with his mom right now but I’ll see her maybe once or twice a month if I can. Not a big fan of her so that’s why. FH was young when his parents divorced and his mom remarried so he was closest to that guy than his dad so we see his dad on special occasions like Fathers Day, Christmas, and occasionally if his cousins do kids birthday or something like that