Both of our parents are divorced.
My mom: We live 5 minutes from her. We actually see her daily most of the time one way or another. I have one sister who is studying abroad right now and we enjoy giving my mother company so she doesn’t have to be alone at night (especially since she does so much for us). I have a very close relationship with my mom (though she’s damn annoying sometimes), and my husband has developed one too. We definitely do not go over to see her every night, but we work at the same school, so sometimes we see each other during the day, or my husband runs over there to pick up/drop something off and he sees her on a day I don’t. All around, it’s just a very close relationship and we are happy with that.
My dad: I’ve had an on/off close relationship with him. I see him a few times a month. He lives about 30 minutes away from us. Sometimes we get together on Sundays, sometimes we go for dinner during the week, and occasionally he comes to us on a Friday night. I would say he mostly comes to our neck of the woods, but there are some days that we drive down to him. He is potentially moving out of state sometime this year so I know now he feels a push to spend a lot more time with us before he moves and doesn’t have the option of seeing us so much anymore.
All in all, we definitely have a much closer relationship with my side of the family as a couple.
His mom: Up until just last week his mom lived 4 hours away from us by car. She is originally from the same state where my husband grew up, but moved to our state after the divorce. I wouldn’t say we drove up to see her very often. I think we went twice in the summer for the weekend, and winter break last year. She came a little more often before the wedding for pre-wedding events, like the shower, but she wasn’t really around so much before the wedding. Although we did invite her to our home over the summer so she could see our apartment, she did not end up coming until Thanksgiving, which was really nice for my husband. We went up last week right before she moved, and now that she’s living about 8 hours drive from us I can’t see us getting together as regularly anymore. We will probably not see her again until July, which is when she is tentatively planning to get married.
His dad: His dad is living in the state where my husband grew up, and to be honest, we really don’t regularly see him. Before my husband moved down here when we got married, he lived an hour drive frim his dad, so he actually did see him a lot. When I would go visit him, we also used to spend a lot of time with his dad. But that was more circumstantial and the last time we saw him was the weekend after our wedding. We certainly can’t afford plane tickets right now, and I don’t think his father would come down. He got re-married on Labor Day weekend and unfortunately with work my husband and I were not able to attend. We’re hoping to get some inexpensive fares for June so we can attend my sister in law’s high school graduation. After that, we have no plans set to see him.
My husband and I are TTC this summer, and I’ll be interested to see which of our family members come when the baby is born. For sure my mom and dad (and sister), most likely his mom, but I wonder about his dad and any of his siblings.
ETA: We have a close relationship with my mom, a warm relationship wtih my dad (if that makes sense), a lukewarm relationship with his mom and a somewhat cold relationship with his dad. I am 22 and my husband is 25. I speak to my mom on the phone casually and often because we see each other all the time, and sometimes it’s like, “Do you want to come for dinner tonight, what should I make?” kind of conversations. We usually don’t spend hours on the phone because if I have something I want to discuss, I just do it in person. I speak to my dad every single Friday, without my husband, usually for 5-15 minutes. My husband speaks to both of his parents every Friday and usually without me. I have spoken with my mother in law on the phone before, but quite rarely. I usually don’t speak on the phone with my father in law, but his wife texts both my husband and I every Friday before the weekend.