(Closed) How often do you see/talk to your parents?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 47
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I have a few questions about how often the bees interact with their parents. 

-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? VERY

-How often do you see them? ONCE A WEEK USUALLY BUT NO LESS THAN ONCE EVERY TWO WEEKS.

-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? I MOSTLY VISIT THEM IN THE HOUSE I GREW UP IN, ALTHOUGH THEY WILL COME TO MY APARTMENT TO HELP OUT WITH THINGS

-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? SINCE WE’RE ON DIFFERENT WORK SCHEDULES, IT DEPENDS. MOSTLY NOT, BUT IF HE’S FREE, HE COMES ALONG

Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH? VERY MUCH

-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? AT LEAST ONCE A DAY TO EACH OF THEM (ONLY CHILD, STILL FEEL THE NEED TO CHECK IN).

-How far away are they from you? 35-40 MINUTES

-And finally, how old are you? 30

 

I think I was extra close to my parents because I am an only child. Doesn’t mean there aren’t major blowups at times – there are – but we generally get along and I feel badly if I don’t talk to them often. Especially my Dad, who doesn’t really spend much time out. My Mom is the more social.

Post # 48
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

@Creiddylad:  

I have a few questions about how often the bees interact with their parents. 

-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?

(I don’t have contact with my Dad, so these answers are based on my relationship with my mother)

Now we do. We’ve had rocky times in the past, but it’s generally good.

-How often do you see them?

For the past 3 years, generally once a year, though I did go visit her at Christmas this year, so it was twice this year. Before 2010, it had been 4 years since I had seen my mum.

-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?

For the last 10 years (when I moved to the other side of the country) it was mostly me visiting her, but in the past 3 years, she started to come visit me once a year (with the exception, as I said above, of me going there this year for Xmas)

-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?


I’ve generally been either single or in less serious relationships, so I went alone. Fiance did not come at Christmas.

Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH?

Loves him.

-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?

Rarely. I hate talking on the phone. If one of us has something specific we need to communicate, we call. Other than that, we keep up on FB.

-How far away are they from you?

4900 km 

-And finally, how old are you?

37

Post # 49
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Extremely close

-How often do you see them? at least 1 a week

-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? No, I always go to see them. It is really because my parents have the visiting house. It is the central location for all family gatherings. I prefer it this way.

-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? He comes about half the time. I usually go on Fridays, which is my day off. He works on Fridays which is why he doesn’t join. However, I also see them on many Sundays, and then my husband will join us, and of course he comes to all family celebrations of which we have many. I have a huge family and we celebrate every birthday with a party. Honestly, we celebrate everything! Promotions, new jobs, everything! My husband often jokes that we would celebrate new shoes, but he loves how close knit we are ๐Ÿ™‚

Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH? Love him!

-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Every day

-How far away are they from you? Around an hour

-And finally, how old are you? 34

I am editing to add how jealous I am of bees who live 10 minutes from their folks! I would love to, and we are currently looking for a house no more than 30 minutes away. I hate how far we are ๐Ÿ™

 

//

Post # 50
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m in my early 30’s.

I see my parents every so often, however, they weren’t the best parents, and haven’t apologized, so I don’t see them as often as they’d like. I go as often as I can be pleasant and not find it too stressful.

I visit them.

I usually bring Fiance.

They are very welcoming of Fiance. I assume it’s genuine, but also, I doubt they would show any negativity about him when they’re trying to ‘earn my favor’ so to speak.

I’m sad to be in a situation where my parents are trying to ‘earn my favor’ but I need an apology and I don’t think they have the ability. This is the kindest I can be to them.

Post # 51
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?

Yes, my myum died when I was 11 but I am very close with my dad.

-How often do you see them?

Anywhere from weekly to monthly, depending on our schedules.

-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?

I usually visit him, or we meet at family functions all over the place. He offers to come to my house, but I don’t like having to worry about having a spotless house!

-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?

50/50- DH is very busy with work and uni at the moment, so sometimes I will make plans for when he needs alone time to study and I get one on one family time. If he is free though he will come.

Do they like your SO/FI/DH?

Yes

-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?

Every couple of days

-How far away are they from you?

40 minutes or so

-And finally, how old are you?

23

Post # 52
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Great. My dad can be annoying but we kids know how to deal with his quirks. 

-How often do you see them? My mom is always at their FL house, so I see her 1-2 times a year. My dad is constantly flying up to MD for work. I see him 2-3 times a week. 

-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? They visit me. My dad only has a small office in MD. I used to fly to FL twice a year. Now I focus on our life and dogs here. 

-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? Always. 

Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH? Love him!

-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Mom once every other week. Dad every other day since I work[ed] for him. 

-How far away are they from you? Several states over/one state away. 

-And finally, how old are you? 24. 


As for the OP’s answers, I would NEVER see my parents if they refused to include my serious boyfriend/fiancé/husband. They don’t invite him, they’re effectively uninviting me. How disrespectful. I would take a stand.

Post # 53
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Sadly it is very tentative. Definitely would not say close. I am very hestitant to share much, everything meets with disapproval or an outright diatribe. ๐Ÿ™ I actually adopted my own set of parents years and years ago who I am much closer to.

-How often do you see them? once or twice a year

-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? Not an even split but they have visited me on occasion.

-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? Sometimes comes but not usually

-Do they like your SO/FI/DH? They have never approved of anyone I am in a relationship with, even friends.

-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Once or twice a month

-How far away are they from you? roughly six hours

-And finally, how old are you? 32

Post # 54
Member
641 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

ETA  Not sure what happened, I typed this all in and it did not show up.  I do not have time right now to do it again!

 

Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?

-How often do you see them?

-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?

-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?

Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH?

-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?

-How far away are they from you?

-And finally, how old are you?

Post # 55
Member
9050 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? I think so!

-How often do you see them? Once every six weeks or so… but they live a five hour drive away.

-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? I’d say I go there 2-3 times a year, and they come here about 6 times a year.  But I live in the area where the rest of the extended family lives, so there’s more for them to do than just see me when they come here.  My mom wants to see her mom and sisters as well.

-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?  Almost always.  I usually bring him, but he does shift work 4 on, 4 off.  So sometimes if he’s working the entire July long weekend or something I’ll go there by myself to hang out with my parents/sister/old friends.

Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH? Definitely.  They don’t know him super well though, since we’ve never lived in the same city as them, and he’s kinda shy.

-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? Dad never.. maybe on his birthday or if I need to ask him something about a surprise for mom.  Text more often.  My mom, maybe once a week, and we usually IM/MSN/Facebook message every couple days.  Every day when I first left home, and again now that I’m pregnant.

-How far away are they from you? 5 hours driving.

-And finally, how old are you? 29

Post # 56
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? Very close

-How often do you see them? At least once a week, sometimes more if I am off (I am a teacher)

-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? Split

-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? Most the time he comes if he is off work or if we are doing something he wants to do. Sometimes I go alone which I don’t mind at all

Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH?- Sometimes I think they like him more than they like Me…LOL

-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? daily

-How far away are they from you? 20 minutes

-And finally, how old are you? 28

FI’s parents live about an hour away and the answers are pretty much the same for us with his family. We are VERY fortunate to have 2 amazing families we love and adore. I love my FIL’s:)

Post # 57
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?  I am extremely close to my mom. There’s no one I love more than her. 

-How often do you see them? Not enough. She’s retired to Florida so now it’s once every other month if I’m lucky.

-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? It’s split, but we take family vacations together so that helps.

-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? Rarely. Fiance has a job that doesn’t allow for as much time off as my job does.

Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH? Yes, very much so.

-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? 2-3 times a day

How far away are they from you? About 24 hours by car. 2.5 hours by plane.

And finally, how old are you? 31


 

Post # 58
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?

Yes. I am closer to my mo than my dad though. I have always been close with my mom and feel that I can tell her anything. I love both of them!

-How often do you see them?


Not often enough! Maybe once every 2 years or so. And even then they are always busy and they always leave with me feeling like I did not get to spend enough time with them.

-How far away are they from you?

My parents actually live on the other side of the world. They live in Kosovo and I live in Iowa. They are way too far away for me!

My FI’s parents live about 15 mins away.

-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?


They always visit me. Once I get married and am done with school it might be a little bit easier to go visit them once in awhile. Plane tickets to and from Kosovo are expensive!

-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?


Unless my Fiance has to work he always come with me to visit, or my parents have also stayed at our house when they come home for a visit. I love that because I end up seeing them every day, and my mom cooks! She is a great cook! 

WIth my FI’s parents, we usually visit them together, but sometimes he does stop over there to visit them if I am busy or working.

-Do they like your SO/FI/DH?


My parents love my FI! I feel very lucky and blessed because of that!

I am also very blessed because my FI’s parents are awesome and we have a great relationship! My Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law have been so helpful in planning my wedding, especially since my own mom is not here to help me.

-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?


Int he winter months its usually once every week or two. They are a lot busier in the summer, so then it might be once a month or not at all. 

-And finally, how old are you?


I am 31.

Post # 59
Member
5870 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I have a few questions about how often the bees interact with their parents. 

-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents?

Yes, we get along great.  I love spending time with my parents.

-How often do you see them?

At least 1x per week, often 2x.

-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly?

Neither actually, we see each other most often at my grandma’s house or other family gatherings.  But I go to their house pretty often too, they rarely come to mine.  Since it’s the house I grew up in I feel free to drop by whenever I like, but they never really drop by.

-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come?

If Fiance is in town he does, but he’s often not in town.

 – Do they like your SO/FI/DH?

They love him.

-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone?

1x per week usually, with wedding planning definetly more

-How far away are they from you?

About a 20 minute drive.

-And finally, how old are you?

28

Thank you bees! I’m trying to find out if my family is really as weird as I think it is. And if my parents’ expectations of me are normal or not. :/ I’ll answer my own questions later. 

Post # 61
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

my mom and i have struggled a lot to come to an agreement about how often i should visit… here’s what we have come up with:

-Do you have a close/pleasant relationship with your parents? yes. my dad passed away a few years ago, i am very close to my mom.

-How often do you see them? once every week/every other week depending on how busy i am.

-Do you always visit them, do they always come to you, or is it split more or less evenly? i always visit them.

-When you visit them, does your SO/FI/marriage partner always come? Almost never come? he does not come… hopefully once we are married that changes, but my mom doesn’t view us as a unit yet so she never invites him unless it’s a holiday.

Edit to add 1 more: Do they like your SO/FI/DH yeah she likes him a lot. she just thinks you’re only a pair once you’re married.

-How often do you talk to your parents on the phone? at least once a day, usually only for 15 minutes.

-How far away are they from you? 45 minutes

-And finally, how old are you? 25

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