(Closed) How often do you speak with your MIL?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
84 posts
Worker bee

Does she live close by? Maybe she tries to tread lightly or shes the quiet type? She might be so attached to the other girl because the girl reached out first? If you want to change the circumstances, I would try to invite her out to dinner or a girls day at a spa. If things stay the same, well at least you can say you tried and that she is defintely missing out. I’m sure your husband would appreciate your effort towards his mother. In laws are never an easy thing to deal with

Post # 3
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Well, a hands off approach might be ok. You could have the type that is always in your business telling you Whst to do. I speak to mine maybe once every 2 months. I would do more but if I do too deep, she offers an unsolicited opinion so I try to keep it light. Have you spoken to her directly and told her that you want to develop a better relationship? 

Post # 4
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Since my husband and I have been together (several years, married since September 2015), I’ve talked to my Mother-In-Law a total of 4 times. The first was when we were dating and I went with my honey to drive her to work. The second time was at our wedding. The third and fourth times were both at funerals. My husband and her are moderately close, and they talk at least once a week. I have no issues with her-  she’s actually very nice- however, she doesn’t speak much English and I don’t speak Spanish, so communicating can be difficult.

On the other hand, we see my Father-In-Law about twice a month. 

Post # 5
4037 posts
Honey bee

I wrote my Mother-In-Law out of my life 8.5 years ago, after 30 years of marriage. I was sick of her narcissism, histrionics, favoritism and toxicity. My husband did everything for her – her other kids moved a couple hours+ plane flights away, but in her eyes, he has always been deficient. It was like our family didn’t exist unless we were needed to do something. She would also treat her other children/grandchildren to vacations, because that was the only way she could get them to visit her.

Years ago she promised to set up investment funds, for our daughter and her grandson. She never did and we struggled to help her with her college costs. Years later, I discovered that she did give money to the grandson; it took years for my daughter to finish her education. The latest incident occured the week my daughter’s wedding RSVPs were due, and she sent her a couple of nasty e-mails, demanding she invite distant/estranged relatives because she thinks “weddings are family reunions.” She was the first guest to leave the wedding. Good riddance!

Post # 7
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I think I’ve seen a lot of ranges, my Mother-In-Law passive aggressively called me and yelled at me about me now calling her often enough (because she makes it so appealing right?) and I talk to her more frequently than her son. We live over an hour away but because she is so demanding of her our attention, is incredibly manipulative we see the in laws about twice a month. We see my parents twice a year and Mother-In-Law bitches about me seeing my parents “too frequently”. 

I have a friend who never talks to her in laws unless it’s like the obligatory “merry xmas” or “happy bday” message and another who is required by her Mother-In-Law to talk on the phone every week. 

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