How often do you talk to FMIL/MIL?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
5411 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

My FI’s mom passed away, but his stepdad remarried a lady that’s only 11 years older than us. She is definitely more like my big sister than anything. We text probably once a week or something like that. Obviously, my situation is a lot different than most lol.

Post # 32
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

As little as possible. She only talks to me when she she needs something or wants to bitch.

Post # 33
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Cellar 222

I feel so lucky when reading these! I get along with my FMIL great…which is awesome because me and my own mother have never been able to remain on good terms for very long. If she wasn’t my mom she is really not someone I would ever choose to spend time with, and even so I try to keep out contact as limited as possible.

My FMIL is actually helping me fight back against my mom who has from the second I announced my engagement attempted to make the whole wedding all about her and what she wants. I’m grateful for her!

 

 

Post # 34
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think I text my FMIL just about every single day. I talk to her more than I talk to my own mother. She’s great. We have only chatted on the phone a few times though. It’s usually communicating through text message.

Post # 35
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

In the almost 7 years that we have known each other I have not been able to have a conversation with my FMIL. I see her at least twice a week and all we do is smile at eachother or wave. She only speaks Spanish. And I only speak English. She is taking classes with her church so I am hoping that someday soon we will be able to have a conversation with each other.

Post # 36
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

I speak to my FMIL only when I see her, we went through a few months of sending each other snapchats but she’s so competetivy and snarky I relaized it’s better to just keep things cordial and be friendly from a distance (she lives an approx 2 hour drive away – thank god!)

Post # 37
Member
2964 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

 I talk to her at least every couple days; sometime she stops in on her way home from work for coffee. 

 

Post # 38
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

leekissesme:  I do not chat with my MIL over the phone.  I do some casual chatting when we go visit.  Not sure if I will ever be close to her.  Who know… Things may change when we have our kids??

Post # 39
Member
12821 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We talk rarely.   We have nothing in common and she’s not very nice to me, so we just don’t have much of a relationship.

Post # 40
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

BeachBee1988:  +1 member of the club too. 🙁  I am still trying to not let it bother me every time it happens (which is at a ton of family gatherings/events).  I have had countless conversations about it with her and nothing has changed.  AT LEAST, it didn’t happen at my own wedding.

 

(Apologies for the threadjack!)

Post # 41
Member
1409 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

daughterdearest:  So sorry to have to welcome you into the crew. I still hold out hope it’ll get better, but after four years with my DH/FI/BF I dont think that’s probable.

Post # 42
Member
641 posts
Busy bee

We live on the other side of the world to my FMIL, but FI & i facetime once a week, and FMIL and I will send messages maybe once a every couple weeks – ir all depends she keeps me updated or will just ask how we are getting on / shows me something for FSIL wedding next year. FI and i arent actively planning our wedding yet, but I have spoken to her about what we want and she will send some pics if she thinks i will like it. 

She says how excited she is for us to get married (im marrying her first born) but i must tell her if she becomes a mumzilla and tries to get ‘too involved’ I love it and cant wait to have her help out, she’s so creative and i know if i were to ever need anything she would help out in a flash.

Post # 43
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2016

My FMIL lives on the other side of the world and doesn’t speak English, and even though I’ve learned her language fairly well, phone conversations are the hardest for me, so we don’t talk over the phone except when my fiance Skypes with his parents. She’s also really quiet in general, so it was kind of hard to have long conversations with her even when we lived in her country. We still have a great relationship, though. I make an effort to send her e-mail updates about our lives every couple of weeks, and I think actually the fact that I’m doing this in her language makes our relationship stronger because she really loves me for working so hard to be able to communicate with her and to make sure any future grandchildren can, too. We’ve naturally gotten closer over time, especially after I wrote her a letter in her language. (I think she wasn’t sure I really spoke it remotely well until then, haha.) After reading this thread, I feel super lucky to have such a great FMIL!

Post # 44
Member
8054 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

MIL is an expat, so we only talk to her when she’s in the country or if there’s something else special going on. Sometimes there are emails though. Frequently, she just talks to DH and sends regards to me. She’s the type of mom that’s always given her grown kids space, I think. I think she’s great actually. 

If your FI has a good relationship with his mom, I would gauge your frequency of contact with her based on that. If she’s just not the type to talk so frequently, I think that’s ok too. It’s nice that you’re reaching out though. 

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