(Closed) How often do you visit your in laws vs your fam

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Both sets of parents live in the same city. I usually see my parents without Fiance once or twice a week, whereas we see my future in-laws every other week. We usually meet for meals; my parents eat out a lot, while his parents host dinners more infrequently. We’re still working on hosting dinners ourselves. 😛

Post # 3
9922 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We have to travel to see both of our families.  We see mine more for several reasons: (1) I have a huge family and thus more family events (weddings, funerals, baptisms, etc); (2) It’s way cheaper to go to my parent’s house than his; and (3) His parents aren’t nice to me, so I’m not inclined to spend more time there.

DH will travel down on his own a couple times a year, and I go maybe once with him to see his family.  We usually go to my parents 3-4 times a year, with one of the trips being a weeklong vacation.  It seems unfair, but we’ve jointly decided to not go where I feel unwanted routinely. 

Post # 4
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

This is something we’re figuring out. I go home to visit my family far more frequently than my fiance does, and he’s just been tagging along with me for the past year or so for major holidays and quick visits. But we talked about it and we think his family is going to be upset if we just go to mine for every holiday (especially once we have kids), so going forward we’re going to alternate.

Post # 5
2137 posts
Buzzing bee

At the beginning of our relationship, it was heavily one sided to seeing mine very often. It had a lot to do with us both being divorced, and his divorce JUST being finalized. We figured everyone needed a lot of time to heal and move on. So, it was a year almost from when we started dating to when I spent any length of time with his family.

Now, we alternate back and forth. I think we still see mine a tad bit more often– but it’s both a few times a month.

Post # 6
1117 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Our families are in different states, with FI’s family local and my parents a long flight away.

My parents come in to town typically twice per year. With our financial obligations, we have not yet flown to their (new) home since they moved about a year and a half ago.

We see FI’s family for holidays and birthdays and try to also invite his widowed father over or out to dinner every couple of weeks. Fiance goes to spend time with his dad about once every 1-2 weeks, as well, on his own. He likes to stay close to him and make sure he’s doing ok since his mom passed away about 2 years ago.

Post # 7
2778 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

My husband’s family is all out of state from us. We usually visit once a year since travel is expensive and getting time off isn’t easy. His family doesn’t usually visit us. We’ll eventually be moving closer to his family so I expect seeing them will drastically increase. Family out of the country…I will be meeting for the first time next year and it will be my husband’s second time being there in his life so not often at all for some of the extended family.

Nothing on my side. We’re estranged.

Post # 8
1730 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
anonb2 :  We see my parents a lot more. They live about 15 minutes away and my in-laws are about an hour and a half away. Some of it is (obviously) due to proximity, but my in-laws are very…hands off parents, so I think we’d still see them way less often even if they lived closer.

We try and split/switch off major holidays, though!

Post # 9
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We all live in the same city but about 30 mins apart from each.

We see them at least once a month. Mine live a bit closer and entertain more so maybe them a bit more… 

Post # 10
1708 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I have dinner with my parents most Sundays unless someone is traveling or has other plans – we are super close. My husband joins us once a month or so, sometimes twice.

My in laws live far away (not within driving distance), but if they were in town I would probably see them once or twice a month, and if my husband wanted to see them more frequently, he could do that on his own. 

Post # 11
179 posts
Blushing bee

Well, we live less than an hour’s drive away from his family, while mine lives cross country, so we see my Future In-Laws a lot more! We visit them quite often, at least once a week. But we only see my parents once every few months.

Most visits, to both our families, we take together, although we’ll go alone on occasion. I’ve visited his family without him, but he’s never gone to my parents without me. 

Post # 12
6217 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
anonb2 :  Our families are on opposite coasts with us in between.  I see the in-laws once a year (thanksgiving) and visit my own family 1-2 x a year (xmas and occasionally summer).  My parents also usually come visit us once in the fall.  His aren’t able to due to his mother’s health problems – too high altitude, but he goes out at least twice a year aside from Thanksgiving.  If we all lived closer, nothing would stop me from visiting more – they’re a fantastic family.

Post # 13
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Our famlies live close to both of us. We try to see both sides about once a month or so, we try to keep it fairly even. 

Post # 14
5985 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
anonb2 :  I’m not the biggest fan of my Mother-In-Law, so we see her together about once a month, and my husband will bring our daughter by another week usually by himself.  But I see my mom or talk to her a lot more, and my daughter spends more time with her as well.

Post # 15
1829 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

We see his parents pretty offen. then extended every few months. 

We don’t spend time with my family at all as we are not on speaking terms. 

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