(Closed) How Often Do You & Your SO/FI/BF Fight?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How Often Do you & SO/BF/FI FIght?
    Daily : (2 votes)
    2 %
    Weekly : (17 votes)
    21 %
    One A Month : (9 votes)
    11 %
    Every Couple Months/Couple Times A Year : (42 votes)
    52 %
    NEVER : (11 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    808 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I have been with my SO for nearly 3 years and we have NEVER had a fight…We have had disagreements but we always sit down and talk it out (never shout)…Most of the time it was a simple misunderstanding or we had didfferent ideas….

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    8489 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Not sure which option to pick. For a while we were fighting at least twice a month, but its been a while since we’ve even argued now.

    For some reason it seems like we always fight when I’m on my period on a Sunday. XD

    Post # 7
    Member
    6361 posts
    Bee Keeper

    We hardly ever fight now, but it’s not because we’re afraid to. Early in the relationship we used to fight ALL THE FREAKING TIME.

    Now we have finally learned enough about each other and how to interact that it hardly ever gets to that point (still happens once in a blue moon though, and I think that’s inevitable.)

    I used to worry that our fighting so much was a bad sign… I didn’t fight this much with my exes. Well, turns out he was the winner. I wouldn’t say that it was a GOOD sign, exactly, it’s not our fights that really bonded us… but just want to provide reassurance to anyone out there that the sheer amount that you fight is not necessarily an indicator of relationship doom, and also may change!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I voted every few months/couple of times a year because I hate using words like “always” or “never.” We’re the same as @russian_doll we never fight as such, but we will disagree on things. Sometimes the disagreements can get a bit upsetting, but we generally resolve it with both of us happy – i.e. me happy and him saying he’s happy that I’m happy, which counts as happy to me! Wink

    There’s never been any yelling, and name calling is usually more of a frustrated “You’re such a pain in the arse right now.” Also, I only just read the part of the question that said “about small stuff.” The disagreements generally aren’t about small stuff – it’s usually more like when will we buy a house, how many kids we want to have, and so on. Wedding stuff has probably been one of the biggest causes of small stuff disagreements though (according to him, weddings are important. According to me, weddings can go jump).

    Post # 9
    Member
    6361 posts
    Bee Keeper

    By the way…the reason for our fighting a lot early in our relationship was largely due to:

    – We are both comfortable showing our anger (many women and some men are not)

    – He was badly hurt by the person before me and frankly she is responsible for a good amount of that yelling… at the beginning he did sometimes fear that all women were like her… so he yelled at me for personality traits he suspected I had because she had them, and being yelled at unfairly, you better believe I yelled right back…lol…

    I think we got over it because we both agreed that even when we’re angry, we should never “fight dirty” (so we never did irrepairable harm to the relationship), and because neither of us ever really gave up on the other (he never fully believed all women were like that ex, and finally, he just let that fear go).

    Post # 11
    Member
    808 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @LadyElva:  BAHAHAHAHAHAHA Wedding stuff has probably been one of the biggest causes of small stuff disagreements though (according to him, weddings are important. According to me, weddings can go jump).

    Post # 12
    Member
    432 posts
    Helper bee

    This is hard one! Well the first 9 months of our relationship we never argued like not even a bicker but I think that was the honeymoon period haha! then when it hit about a year we had a few disagreements nothing bad just rubbed eachother the wrong way, that lasted about 3 months and it was normally after we’d had a drink.

    We have had i’d say 2 ROWS that was about 3 months ago and now we dont bicker or row I think it was a transition period but we have a had alot deal with since we started going out and its only been up until now that things for my SO are finally getting better (he had a car accident and has had a bad shoulder and neck since but he is finally getting treatment for it) so everything seems more positive but generally we get on great and just talk things over if we have anything to say. :]

    Post # 13
    Member
    1404 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I’ve been with my SO for coming up on 2 years and we’ve had a couple of disagreements that we’ve resolved reasonably quickly, but never had a full blown fight about anything. He’s such an easy going guy and honestly gives me no reason to get angry at him.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee

    LOL i thought this said “how often is your SO/FI/BF right?! and I was like “um… never!” hahahaha

    Post # 15
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee

    @lookingglass:  LMAO! Funny how we read things sometimes, isn’t it? My SO is right just often enough to give him hope to keep trying lol. Someday he will learn that I am always right 😉

    Post # 16
    Member
    3645 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Assuming you are talking about more bickering rather than an actual fight (because you said small stuff, so I assumed you mean bickering) then it would be once a week. One of us will be tired or have had a bad day and then be stuck in traffic and the other one will do something (like SO accidently leaning on my hair in bed) and I’ll snap at him and we’ll bicker. But this is likely over in a few minutes and then we cuddle and see how silly we are.

    In terms of an actual large fight which requires a discussion and good communication I would say…maybe once a month? Once every two? Not really sure because I think that these sorts of things cluster together and then everything is peachy for a long time before something else happens.

    It’s interesting to reflect on and hear about other people’s stories. 

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