(Closed) How often does your MIL give you suggestions?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Mhm, when Mother-In-Law gives me any suggestions that I don’t agree with or don’t like, I just tell her straight out, but in a polite way of course. There is no need for being snarky or rude about it, I just brush it off and explain why and there is nothing more to it. 

We’ve had soem suggestions towards the wedding, and she has backed down which is really nice of her when we tell her what we want. In that way it’s really great she is understanding. 

Post # 5
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My Mother-In-Law gives “suggestions” every five minutes.  Luckily, she’s not here that often and we don’t have to listen to her.  Unfortunately, if you don’t agree with her or do things the way she does them, then you’re wrong.  It causes lots of tension and some arguments.  We’ll usually just say we’ll think about it and leave it at that.  DH has told her to stop, but she has a very controlling personality and I don’t think she can help herself.  

Post # 6
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

commenting to save this thread. 

Post # 7
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Just saw your PM, I’ll write you there okay? 😀

Post # 8
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Ok if my Mother-In-Law suggested the things in the OP, i would have told her and her son to pound sand… or given him the wet clothes to hang up in the cupboard.

My Mother-In-Law listens to me when I talk and I kind of bounce things off her, she doesn’t ever tell me how to do things and she knows I have no problem telling her to back off.  I haven’t ever had to, but I didn’t marry into a stupid family.  I think you need to have a chat with your hubs.

Post # 9
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My Future Mother-In-Law always says “If thats what you want to do” it drives my Fiance up the wall when she  says that because he always feels like she is being critical without just openly disagreeing. His mom is really very sweet though.

Post # 10
Member
1934 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d be glad if my Mother-In-Law ever suggested anything.  That might mean, to me, that she actually cared about anything.  But, she doesn’t.  In fact, I never hear from her at all.  And she only lives 5 minutes away AND we’re pregnant.  Lol – can you tell I’m a bit touchy about it?  haha

HOWEVER, that being said, I gotta say that I think a boiler cupboard is the strangest suggestion I’ve heard in a long time.  I would talk to Darling Husband about it.

Post # 11
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, that sounds like a fire hazard to me! I would not do it just for that reason alone.

Post # 13
Member
895 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@hotpinkbride- +1

You’re going to have to sit down and talk with your hubbs and tell him how you feel and have him tell your Mother-In-Law to chill out because the longer you wait the more annoyed you’ll be and might cause you to blow up. (That happened with me)

Post # 14
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wish i had my beloved Mother-In-Law around to give me a ton of advises..we lost her in March and i miss her daily..she was 87 years old, a beautiful, charming, funny, social lady, always ready to tell a story of long ago an di was a eager listener. Learned a LOT from her.

Post # 15
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Let your husband do his own laundry for a while.  That should do the trick.

Post # 16
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

So maybe I’m just crazy but I don’t see anything wrong with a Mother-In-Law giving suggestions. They ARE older and one would hope they learned something in their years (not always the case though). You don’t want to make her nervous about saying things to you. Then she will feel like she has to tip toe around you.

 

I feel that its fine for her to make a suggestion and for you to say No. I assume she’s making a suggestion because someone is complaining about something right?

She shouldn’t be”following up” I mean that’s weird. She doesn’t need to know what you decided to do to your laundry or household stuff. That should stop I think. That puts weird pressure on you.

It sounds like you want to say no about some things just to establish yourself as a couple. Which isn’t the healthiest way to go about it. Unless your hubby just says that to get his way….??

The whole time I read your post it just sounded like you were just annoyed with your husband. I don’t think you owe your Mother-In-Law any explanition as to what you decide to do with your laundry. I think you explained your reasons for not wanting the cupboard solution just fine. And you should just tell him that and tell him that he is being silly. If he hits you with its just because of my mother (and hes just making that up) you can turn it around to say You just want to do this because your mother suggested it 😛 And when he gets upset that you said that you can tell him thats how he makes you feel- and you would rather just talk about the REAL REASON why you don’t want to do whatever.

 

 

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