(Closed) How often does your SO go out?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We usually go out together because we have lot of mutual friends. We might do this once every other weekend or so. He’ll probably hang out with people from work or his friends from back in the day once a month or so. Same for me – we’re just homebodies. No kids. 

Post # 3
Member
2238 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

PrettyPinkPeonies:  Almost never, as most of our friends are mutual friends. It wouldn’t bother me if he did, but 3-4 nights a week does seem excessive. Are you home most/every night? If not, I get why he’d want to go out, but if you’re home (and free to spend time with him), it seems odd. Especially because it wasn’t a major deal until recently. Honestly, I would be a little concerned that either he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be or that he was unhappy in the relationship and is going out more often to avoid spending time at home. I hope I’m wrong, but it’s absolutely worth a discussion! 

Post # 4
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

We don’t have kids, and Darling Husband does not go out very often without me. That’s mostly because all of his friends are married with kids and when he spends time with them, everyone brings their families. He does go on 1-2 trips per year with his best friends.

I go out without him 1-2x per week – every Wednesday and sometimes on a Sunday or something. However, I just go to dinner or a move with my girlfriends and I never come home late.

I think we’d both be unhappy with 3-4x a week, but I suppose it depends on the situation. Are you sitting at home when he goes out?

Post # 5
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

At the most, it was 3-4 times a week and I found it excessive. Softball league, bowling league, golf on weekends…and yes, we have 3 kids. I was not a happy camper. How did it change? All of that is expensive and I told him to pick one. 

Post # 6
Member
7435 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Darling Husband plays volleyball for about 2 hours 2 nights per week. Then, he usually goes out Friday or Saturday (I’m invited to almost everything he does  but rarely go). It does get to be too much sometimes so when that happens I just let him know and he usually skips the weekend outings.

I think in most relationships 3-4 times a week is excessive, especially since it wasn’t always like this. Talk to him about it if you want to spend more time with him.

ETA: we do not have kids. I would probably ask him to limit it to one night a week or less if we did.

Post # 7
Member
6379 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Darling Husband doesn’t like to go out without me and he has barely done it in our 25 yrs together.

Post # 8
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

3-4 nights a week def sounds excessive. He’s spending more time with other people than he is with you. 

Fiance and I usually go out together as now all of our friends are mutual friends. During the summer/fall he goes out on late night bike rides once a week, and I go out w girlfriends maybe once a month. 

Post # 9
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee

We have one child together. 

On average, he meets his friend for like 45 minutes or so 4x a week–usually when he picks up grocery, he’ll stop by and chitchat with his friends (they work close to the grocery store). 

If more than 3 hours hang out session, it’s usually like 1x a month. 

In the last year, he’s only come home early AM without me once.

I usually go out even less than that–I love my house.  I’m currently studying for another certification so my “free” time is spent studying/reading.  🙂  During weekdays, I take random lunch dates with my girlfriends like 2x a week. 

Hmmm I would mind the 3 to 4x a week depending on how LONG these sessions are.  If it’s averaging 3 hours–that’s 12 hours a week that’s taken up.  In a given week, we don’t really have a lot of free time if you take out basic time-eaters (sleeping, commute, work, eating) and he wants to spend almost 1/2 of that free time with friends.  I would take offense if he’s not spending that much time hanging out with you. 

 

Post # 10
Member
222 posts
Helper bee

My SO is gone all week so the only time we have together is weekends, we sometimes go out together for dinner or a game night with mutual friends every couple of months. He goes over to a friends house for a sports drafts for his fantasy team about four times a year. I consider myself lucky cause to be honest with the short period of time we have together in month I don’t think I would tolerate it well if he went out every weekend with friends.

Post # 11
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

My fiance participates in game nights at work one or twice a week and sometimes does a happy hour once a month. He also does game tournaments at a shop from time to time. It’s his hobby, so I don’t mind. He is usually home before 9pm and is communicative about his whereabouts. No kids.

Post # 12
Member
860 posts
Busy bee

I go out 2 or 3 times a week and spend the night. Darling Husband works a very social job and works evenings, so he doesn’t go out often, but he has friends over  (sometimes for several days) two or three times a month. 

We rarely go out together. Maybe twice a month.

Post # 13
Member
641 posts
Busy bee

We have more mutual friends since we moved from the UK, so mostly we go out together – unless he has football / training and goes to the pub afterwards, there are of course ocassions when we wont go out together or i will see friends and he will do his own thing. 

Previously, we had more seperate groups, and would do our own thing 1-2 tmes a week, it was a good balance and we always let eachother know our plans, and if some weeks we had more ‘seperate time’ we would make up for it on other days. 

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