(Closed) How often is normal and what isn’t?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I wouldn’t worry about it. Darling Husband and I didn’t even live together before we got married and it’s usually only on the weekends and Tuesday(the only night he doesn’t work). Life takes over and sometimes you are just exhausted. I think as long as the two of you are content that is all that matters.

Post # 4
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

normal is very subjective, so it’s not really something you can just ask the internets and decide that’s how you should be doing it. how do you and dh feel about how often you have sex?

Post # 5
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

“Normal” is whatever works for you and your husband. I’m on the pill too and have been for a while. Not much libido there, so that is totally normal. You could check with your doctor about switching up your bc.

Post # 7
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’ve heard psychologists say that twice a week is about average; any less than that (if it’s a regular thing) and it has the potential to become a problem. However, if you’re both content, I don’t think it really matters.

Post # 9
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think if you’re worried about it just have a conversation with your husband about it. Just know that there will be times when life gets in the way and you’re both busy and exhaused so it might be less often, and there will be other times when you’ll both be stress free and it’ll happen more often.

I think the only time you run into trouble is when one of you is more interested that the other. Communication is the key to this though. The pill can definitely effect how you feel – you may want to see if there’s a different one you can switch to. Talk to your doc about your concerns – because what’s the point of being on the pill if you’re not having sex? 🙂

My husband and I definitely aren’t as active as we were when we first got together (also I’m pregnant so that’s kind of effect how I’ve felt) – but we always make sure it’s at least twice a week and really quality is our focus rather than quantity (ie. if we’re both exhaused/preoccupied, we’re not enjoying it).

Post # 10
Member
1553 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t know that there is a “normal.”  As long as both you and he are happy with the way things are, then that is normal for you.  There’s only a problem when one of you thinks it’s not enough and feels rejected or feels it’s too often and feels pressured.  As long as both are content, I’d not worry about it.

As far as what’s average. the Kinsey Institute data shows that for married couples between the ages of 25-29,

1.6% have not had sex in the past year

9.3% have sex from a few times per year to monthly

46.3% have sex from a few times per month to weekly

37.1 have sex two to three times per week

5.9% have sex more than four times per week.

Post # 11
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Darling don’t worry about that! The “normal” is to do it whenever you both feel like to.. wether it’s everyday or once a month. It doesn’t matter, as long as you both feel happy and satisfied…

Post # 12
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I would definitely suggest finding a different form of protection. I was on the pill for 10 years and towards the end of it I literally had NO sex drive. My Darling Husband and I have been together for 9 years and I am so grateful that he was so patient with me because weekends would have been a lot for us lol. I stopped taking my BC last year, Febrary 7th, 2010 to be exact, and my sex drive has JUST come back. While I’d love to say that it was due to our marriage this past March, it’s really just been the past couple weeks that I feel normal agian. Condoms are a pain in the ass, especially because I’m allergic to latex, but it’s totally worth it to want to hit the sheets with my hubby again. Also, I think having some great sex on the weekends totally beats having mediocore sex more ofen during the week when you’re both exhausted.  

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