Post # 122
Just my two cents…
My mom had me when she was 43, while my dad was 51. I’m 28, and right now my parents are 71 and 80. My parents probably look 1/3 their age, as when they had me they knew they had to stay healthy and active. They both still currently go to their “work-out classes” 4 days a week at the local rehabilitation center. Reading through some of the comments, I was really surprised to see that some are worried about parents who are in their 50’s/60’s.
I also have older siblings who are 43,42 and 39, which was a big gap when I was born. I would never, in a miliion years, change the way I grew up. I always had my older siblings to take care of me and my parents were always around as well. My mom just recently retired 2 years ago and my dad worked until he was 73. Although I never had grandparents around (they had already passed when I was born), I had the love and support of my parents and 3 older siblings to guide me thoughout life.
Post # 123
Personally I would like to be done having children by 36, I’m 30 now, Fiance and I are getting married next year and want to start TTC right after we get married. My cousin just had her first child a year ago at 47 which seems insane to me. It was considered a high risk pregnancy where she was off work her entire pregnancy and on bed rest. Her son has had several heath issues already, she went through three rounds of IVF before she got pregnant. I just look at her son and think when he’s 20 you’ll be 67 and when he’s 30 you’ll be 77 and her husband will be 80. That’s how old my Fiance grandparents are now and they’re already worried that they won’t get to see us have a family etc. I think when you start getting up to 45-50 and have a child odds are you’re going to miss a lot of really great stuff like grandkids, especially if your own children wait until they’re in their 30’s to start a family.
Post # 124
It’s better *for me* to have children (hopefully, just one- but who knows?) before 30. My fertility is already very low, so the sooner DH and I TTC, the better. We had planned on waiting 5 years before TTC (because I assumed I’d have plenty of time), but now that we’ve found out I have fertility issues, we’re TTC in December. We’re probably going to have to use medicine to ovulate or IVF to even conceive, and I definitely don’t want to push our luck and wait longer and have something happen where there is NO chance.
I think a woman should stop having children whenever she wants to stop, as long as she can provide and care for the child. I don’t think there is an age- honestly, I’ve seen a few 40-45 year old women pregnant and they’re doing a great job.
Post # 125
My husband and I just had our first baby earlier this year (I’m 26 and he’s 27). We think we would like to have two or three children and would like to try and be done around when I’m 32 or 33. Originally, we had planned on starting TTC at 30 and being done at 36 or 37 but life didn’t pan out that way so now our plans have changed a bit due to wanting to keep our children somewhat close in age.
I agree with previous posters that this is a very personal choice and that life does not always work out so you can have your children at your “ideal” time. If the parents are able to care for their children, I think that is definitely the most important thing. It’s up to each couple to decide how age factors into that.
Post # 126
How old is too old? When is the time right?
Partly it depends on whether you only want to be a mom if you give birth. Partly it sepends on your health. When we adopted our son he was 6 weeks old, I was 44 and my husband was 46. We are almost, but not quite, the oldest parents of all Ben’s classmates. My parents, bless them, are now in their 80s and 90 and still live in the house where I grew up. He sees them often because we live nearby.
There are many ways to be a happy, loving family.
Post # 127
Probably 40 for me; at the latest – maybe sooner.
Post # 128
@MRS-K: I am 35 and my husband is soon turning 43. We just got married last year and just had our first child 12 days ago. Before I got pregnant, I thought I’d have one at 35 and another at 37 or 38. It would be nice to get our kids through college before we retire. Now I’m thinking this LO may be our only one, primarily career and money concerns. But in terms of age, I didn’t want to go past late 30s for me.
Post # 129
@MrsFireChief: Thanks for your story. Me and FH are in the same boat. I am 34 going on 35 in a few days. We will get married in 2 weeks and begin TTC. He is 40. Our meeting and falling in love was not predictable and could not be planned since I couldn’t see the future and may not have been compatible with him a few years ago to be honest. This is our season and I agree with you that it is not too old it is just right.
Post # 130
Wow, interesting post. When posing the question how old is too old to have a baby? There are just too many factors that will influence each person’s choice. It’s funny how life may just carry along while we are busy trying to create and live it by plan. I was once that young 20 year old girl who said, I will have all my children before 30. Because i would be married by 24. Well, what happened was life did carry along with me and gave me a wonderful destined path of joy and happiness which to my delight was unplanned…meeting my loved one at 29 and enaging in the long distance relationship until i was 31…married at 34..pregnant at 35…delivered my first baby at 36 and now i will love to have at least one or two more soon…but i’m not putting an age limit anymore, i’m taking it as they come along…My son is the greatest joy and he was born at the perfect time. I do have a young mother who is 57, a grandmother who is 79, lovely women and a great grandmother who is 101 and doing great! Well so far, we are pretty lucky not worrying about aging parents yet! I’m hoping my son will have that same luck of the draw 🙂 Bottom line: It’s a personal choice and we should all respect everyone’s decision HOWEVER, remember life can be unexpected and embrace those suprises…we are born at the time given to us and that you have no control over.
Post # 131
My mum had my younger brothers at 35 and 37, she had me at 25. For me personally, my cut off is between 33 and 35. My mum’s pregnancies weren’t complicated but the birth of my youngest brother was very traumatic and I guess that’s just scared me a little. Plus, I always thought that I’d have kids at 25 like Mum but that’s not the case, I’m 28 now and dying for kids but we’re not financially ready (I’m impatient, Fiance is very patient and rational about this).
I gave myself until I’m 33 or 35 because I’m scared to deal with the risks of having a baby at a later age. I also want to be able to bounce back (body wise) after baby, lol, vain I know! And I don’t want my kids, when they get to the age that they start their families, to have elderly parents who need to be cared for (I don’t want to burden them at such a young age).