Post # 1
I have been thinking about the future a lot lately- and by thinking about I mean freaking out about it. I have recently been plagued by the idea that I wont have enough time to establish myself in a job/career I love, travel the world or develop as an Individual before having children. Whilst I am well aware that in todays day and age all of these things and more are possible with children (kudos to all the Fantastic Mums and Dads out there) I have been thinking a lot lately about the best age to have children. I know sometimes life just happens and more often then not things don’t pan out as we originally intend but in your opinions Bees how old do you think is ‘too old’ to have your first child? Do you think there is an age limit?
I asked my parents this question. My Mum had my older step brother and sister when she was 21 and 23. Was divorced, remarried and has my twin brother and I at age 36.
My dad was a first time dad with my Twin and I also at age 36.
They both said from their experience they wouldn’t have wanted to be over 40 in having children for the first time. They felt that whilst emotionally, spiritually, financially you are more secure in your 30’s than you are in your early 20’s, physically you are able to meet the demands of children much easier the younger you are.
So thoughts bees?
Would you want to have kids before 25, 30, 35, 40, 45?
Is there any age that you felt that if you got too without having kids you would no longer try?
I know this is incredibly personal and by no means do I mean to offend anyone- but I will be very very interested to hear opinions.
Post # 3
@justjade: 40 would be my limit, for a lot of reasons.
Post # 4
I an interested to see what the general opinion is here as been thinking along the same lines as the OP.
Post # 5
When you become infertile, I guess. (I’m not against adopting, or surrogacy, but I read this thread as being specifically when is it too late to give birth to your own child with your own body.)
Post # 6
Personally, I would feel pretty bad giving birth to a child when I’m 40 or older. My paternal grandfather started having children when he was 43, then died when he was 60. My dad was only 11 years old at the time, and has always regretted that he didn’t get to know his father as an adult, and his dad never lived to see his grandchildren.
I love that my parents had me in their early 20s. They had so much energy to play with us, they have always been loads of fun to be with and, now that all four of us have grown up and left home, mum and dad are both 53 and have travelled the world a few times since we moved out.
On the other hand, my dad’s brother didn’t have children until he was 42. He really struggled to keep up with his kids, he still struggles now with the new technology the kids have, and he’s said that, if his children follow his trend (i.e. don’t have children until they’re in their 40s), then he will most likely never meet his grandchildren either. Not to mention the fact that he will be going on 60 when they are teenagers….
I guess I would want to start having kids in the next year or so (I’m 25 now). Partly because I don’t want to be an “old” parent, and partly because it could take us a year or two to conceive from our start date anyway! We’re hoping to have about 3 children, too, so hopefully we’ll have them all done by the time we’re about 35.
Post # 7
@justjade: Well I think a lot depends on when you start TTC. Ideally I would like to be DONE having kids by 35-37 years old. If I didn’t have kids by then I would be adopting.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t have children after I turn 29. I voted 25 since it fit the best for what we want. I had my son when I was 19 and my husband and I are thinking about a baby but I don’t know if the timing is going to work out in our favor. I like the energy I have to keep up with my son (though after this last birthday I’ve felt my energy level change and my husband has saidd the same) and I like that we’ll be empty nesters in our late 30’s early 40’s so I’m happy in whatever life hands us in these next 2 years.
Post # 9
I would probably not want any after 35. I think for me 25-35 is the perfect range. I’m 27 and I’m just starting to get a TINY bit of baby fever, but I feel like I still want to travel a little bit more before having kids
Post # 10
Considering my mother was 30 when I was born, and even my own dad’s mother was 45 when she had him (he was the last of 9), I think there’s still hope for me. I think I would probably stop trying if nothing happened by 40, though. Not really crazy about the idea of being a senior citizen at my kid’s HS graduation.
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I’d say 50 would be my limit, if I wanted more kids. But it’s really whatever works best for each woman. I’m not going to say that my personal limit is right for every woman everywhere.
Post # 12
@Bebealways: +1 That is how I read the question too.
If I didn’t find the right man until I was 45, I would still try to have children. My aunt was 47 when she had her first (and only) son. Her and her husband are very financially stable, which is great, but on the other hand all their friends have children who are in highschool and college, if not older. Like anything, there are both positive and negatives to having children when you are younger or older..
Post # 14
After 35 you get into that whole reproduction problem and increased chance for health issues to the baby, so I would say that’s my cut off. Most women go into menopause btwn 40-50. I would like to start having kids at 27-28.
Post # 15
I would not want to be in my 60s when the kids go to college.
Post # 16
@skipanther: are you sure? That sounds young for menopause.
Maybe I’m in denial. ..