(Closed) How old were you and how long were you dating before setting a timeline? Advice?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 62
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My Fiance and I had been together about 5-6 months when the topic came up, he alerted me that he was going to get me jewelry for Christmas…and every month after the 5th or 6th month gave more hints to what kind of jewelry and so by the 9th-10th month I knew for sure it was an engagement ring. He popped the question Christmas Day this year. Though it may seem like a smooth ride we’ve been best friends for nearly 12-13 years, lots of false starts but when we got it together we definitely got it together; plus we both knew we’d end up together one way or another…or atleast hoped we’d be on the same page one day. He’s my high school crush, though we never dated seriously back then…it only lasted a week or two before I avoided him…we had the talk when I was 26 & and he was just turning 29, and got engaged after I turned 27. To say the least it’s been a long time coming. I couldn’t envision myself with anyone else, nor could he.

Post # 63
Member
2426 posts
Buzzing bee

We started dating at ages 22 (me) and 24 (him) in 2008. Started talking about getting married by year 2. Our timeline was when he got out of college and got a job. Fast forward to the end of 2012, he finally graduated in May, got a job in October, I moved in and we got engaged in December-ages 27 (me) and 29 (him). We plan on getting married in April 2013 (same ages as our engagement). Seems like a long time from the start to engagement but it worked for us.

Post # 64
Member
13 posts
Newbee

A timeline?!  WTF is this?  I met my Fiance when I was 20 and he was 25.  We have been dating for 6 years.  He proposed to me on Nov. 8, 2012.  We talked about getting married throughout the years, and over the last year I figured it would never happen. We might have been married by now but things like losing your job (that we never thought would happen), going to school, and being forced to move in with your parents didn’t help our situtation. 

But I never knew I could set a timeline for him to follow?  I could never imagine being like “hey you need to ask me to marry you by such and such year or else!”  I still have to wait another year and 8mths until we MIGHT get married…(thats another story)  But we did what was right for us in the long run and it was worth the wait.  Waiting to get married isn’t a bad thing either because we are certain we are meant to be together. 

Post # 65
Member
2080 posts
Buzzing bee

We had been dating for about a year when  DH started dropping hints about us headed toward marriage. He would say things like he needed to put a wedding ring on my finger, stuff like that.

The hints were wonderful, but I wanted to know specifics. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of waiting for months or years to find out what his intentions were. I felt that I had a right to know whether we were on the same page. So after several months of hints I asked him to be a little more specific and we had The Talk and set a timeline. We ended up getting married on our two-year anniversary of meeting each other.

 

Post # 66
Member
4053 posts
Honey bee

@grignardreagent:  I moved for DH wayyyy before our engagement, we were LDR and I was tired of it. I was also in a place where I was ready to move out of my home town. I think that living together is important if you aren’t against it for religious reasons/morals. I dk, just food for thought!

Either way, like PP’s said, you will know when it’s time and when you are both ready. DH and I never had a timeline. He proposed to me well before an engagement was on my radar, even though by that point I did know I was going to marry him, if that makes sense. Haha.

Post # 68
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My SO and I are right at 1.5 years of dating. I’m 19 and he’s 23. He’s never been the type to settle down, and I never wanted to get married, just because I have lots of divorce in my family. He changed my mind and I changed his mind. He brought up marriage first, actually. He even told my mom he wanted to marry me! We’ve been talking very seriously about getting engaged for 3 or 4 months now.

We both have things we need or want to do before we get married. But I’m sure it will be sooner than we originally planned. We already act like we’re married anyway.

Post # 69
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My fiance and I were friends for a year, dated the following year and engaged after 1yr and 3 months of dating. He asked my parents for my hand in marriage (without me knowing a thing!) after we dated for 11months. We have been enaged for 2yrs and are getting married on our 4yrs anniversary!! When you love someone, you don’t think about timing..unless its way too long. I think when people date, you date with the purpose to get married…not just dating to “date”.

Post # 70
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I was 28 and i set it after I moved in, which was 10 months into the relationship. 

Post # 71
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We had dated for 9 months when he proposed. I did not really give him a time line. We just sometimes made comments or jokes about living together. Every time like that, I told him in a playful tone that I would never moved in with anyone without an engagement. And that I would start seeing other men if I don’t feel secure in a relationship. He knows I am a confident woman. Although I was his gf but I would always look out for a better man to come along. And would jump ship if I see a better catch. And he knows that. 

He popped the question after I came back from my 1 month vacation abroad. I am 26 and he is 29

Post # 72
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m 30 and SO is 37. We set a loose timeline as soon as we both knew we wanted to marry each other, which was after less than one month after meeting. It has now been almost a year and I recently found that he has started looking for my ring. Perfect timing for us. 

Post # 73
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I met my SO when I was in the 9th grade (age 15) and he was in 10th (16 yrs old) and we had a algebra class together… we started dating a couple months later (7/2004) and will be celebrating our 9 year anniversary this summer (7/2013).. we just celebrated our 5 year “living together” anniversary lol…. we are not engaged yet, but ive been told and hinted at that it would be this year sometime.. so it will be 2014 before we get married and i will be 25 and him 26 at that time.

 

love reading when other couples got together and their timelines etc 🙂

Post # 74
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Once I hit 21, timelines were set up on the third or fourth date. Not really “I’m leaving” timelines, but “this is the rough timeline of when I want to get engaged/married/have kids.” If you say mid-twenties and the other person said mid-thirties, and you were the same age, you pretty much knew that was the last date. My fiance and I had the talk about that on the third date, found out our timelines were compatible, then left it alone until five months later when we decided to get engaged.

The excuse that there’s stuff he wants to do before marriage is bullshit. There are two things that marriage inhibits:

1. Seeing other people.

2. Moving away from your S/O. (And then maybe not, since I’ve known several long distance marriages.)

Post # 75
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

@distracts:  I think that’s a bit harsh. Sometimes people have stuff to do. Sure, you can get engaged and married at any point, theoretically, but people don’t always want to live apart and/or not be able to support each other. 

Post # 76
Member
1845 posts
Buzzing bee

We started dating when we were 16. I brought up the topic of marriage when we were 23 and had been together nearly 7 years. I wanted him to propose for our 7th. That freaked him out and he said he wasn’t ready to get engaged, which pissed me off. We had lived together for 6 years at the time. The tension eventually settled down and I let it go. Then when we were 24, he brought it up. He felt confident and ready to be engaged. It feels good that he got there on his own without me forcing him into it. We aren’t engaged yet and we’ve been together 8 1/2 years. Now I’m the one making him wait, lol. I want a custom ring and I want to be sure of the design before we go forward with it. We’ll get engaged this year. I am not in a rush to be married. We may be 30by the time we marry (after being together 14 years by then, lol).

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