(Closed) How old were you and how long were you dating before setting a timeline? Advice?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 77
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

we knew each other from HS.. just of each other!.. really never hangout maybe hi on the hall ways…. 10yrs later I ran into him became friends.. I finally gave in on May 29th 2011, got engaged June 13 2011 and got married November 18, 2011! (i was 26 he was turning 28 on november 19th) <<Yeah he said he’d steal my thunder cause it be the wedding and his birthday!!!… I had dated before for 3 yrs and another relationship for 4 1/2 straight, so I dont believe in timelines…. you know when the right one has come into your life! <3

Post # 78
Member
3518 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

When he proposed, I was 24 and we’d been dating 3.5 years. 

We didn’t really set a timeline or anything. I never asked him about when it would be and he never said anything about timing. 

The first time we talked about it was pretty early. He made an offhand comment within months of meeting me about a future together, and then within a year or so was saying things occasionally like “at our wedding, we should have rock band cake toppers” but there was never a formal conversation with a timeline.

Probably by 1.5 years I responded to one of those with “do you really see a future with me” or “so you wanna marry me, huh?” and he was like “welllll duhhhh” but I don’t remember when exactly. 

So he made his intentions known, and I was happy about it, but the subject was dropped for a year or so. It came up once around 2.5 years, when we agreed for serious that the relationship was marriage bound, though we didn’t have the resources to act on it at that time. It was dropped again and came up one more time around a year later about two months before he actually did it.

At the time when he finally put things in motion, we’d both been working at new jobs and were more secure, with enough disposable income to save up and go on a vacation abroad together. To my knowledge, he knew what he wanted with me pretty early on, before I even did, and was just waiting until the resources were there to impress me when he actually asked. He didn’t have any benchmarks other than the ability to set up an awesome proposal.

We’re also by a LONG shot the first of our friends and age-similar family members to get married. None of his friends are even in serious relationships and only a couple of mine are. I suspect it’ll be at least a couple years before we start getting wedding invites from others. Don’t fault him for not being ready so early in life, my FH is just a weirdo, I think. ;D

Post # 79
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

we didnt have a ‘timeline’ mind you, we got engaged pretty quick

[ 4 months ]

we’ve now been together for 5 years in September

Post # 80
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

@everythingwasgold:  you are the exact same as me!

Me and OH have been dating since sixteen – I am nearly nineteen.

We are getting engaged after September so will have been together two and a half years and will be getting married early twenties πŸ™‚

And I promised him I would follow him whereever he goes

xx

Post # 81
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I didn’t really set a timeline, I think we both knew we wanted to be together long term at about the one year mark (I was 28 and he was 29) so we decided to buy a house together.  We hadn’t really talked about marriage in terms of a timeline, we discussed when we want to start a family and worked backwards from there.  We’ve been together for about 3 and a half years now and serious wedding talk started  last summer.  He’s bought the ring (we custom designed it) and it’s hidden in our home so I’m just waiting for the official proposal.  We both agreed we want to start trying for a family next year so it will probably be an early 2014 wedding.

Post # 82
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We started talking about it pretty early on in our relationship. We got a dog together four months into the relationship, bought a house together 10 months in and got engaged at our 1.5 year mark. Wow looking at this on paper it looks like we moved pretty fast, but I know we wouldn’t have done either of those if we weren’t sure. When we went to visit my parents around 8 months he took me to a jewelry store to look at rings. I really think it is different for everyone! (We are both 26 years old btw)

Post # 83
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

We had talked about marriage pretty casually from about 6 months in.  We didn’t set a timeline as in by this time I want to be engaged, by this time I want to get married until we were 3 years in, 26 & 27 years old.  That was about 6 months ago and it’s gone very quickly since then as in I’m expecting the engagement next month and we want to get married in late 2014.

 

Although I’ve also lived with him for about 3 years now, so we probably aren’t all that alike πŸ™‚

 

If he says he wants to marry you but just can’t make the commitment though, that sounds like my SO, who also says he never wants to get divorced.  He probably sees himself marrying you but just wants to take the time to be absolutely sure.  Don’t stress and think him putting the engagement off means he’s not committed to marrying you, some guys just take a little while.

 

Also, I think the average guy is not ready to get married until his later 20s.  I believe the average age is 27.  Just for reference :).  My SO and I were together about the same amount of time when we were your age and I would have been ready, but he needed a couple more years.  The whole situation actually sounds very familiar…

Post # 84
Member
643 posts
Busy bee

We started talking about it Early last year (2012) and he said another year or two. He asked August of 2012 so I was really surprised πŸ™‚ We’ve been together for 6 years so I knew it was coming but wasn’t waiting for it. Despite a timeline, guys will propose when they are ready, before or after the supposed date. Let them worry about it.

Post # 85
Member
643 posts
Busy bee

@DreamingofDiamonds:  agree πŸ™‚ my FH is 26 and didnt consider marriage till 24/25. It’s a maturity thing I think. 

Post # 86
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee

We started talking about it two months into dating, 4 months after meeting. Set a general timeline two weeks ago. We’re both 25 and just really, really know what we want. Both have been in longterm relationships and had time alone after those – we’re certain we have found “the one” in each other and are planning a timeline that allows more than enough room for the relationship to breathe (engagement later this year, wedding fall of 2014).

Post # 87
Member
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

We had been dating 3 1/2 years when he proposed (total surprise).  We never had any talk of timelines, we’ve been living together for 2 years, and I knew he was the one early on.  I knew he’d propose when he was ready to πŸ™‚  According to him he would have done it about a year earlier, but he had a horrible cycling accident and a ton of medical bills.  I’m glad he waited!

Post # 88
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I didn’t read most of the PP comments but here’s my experience:

When we were 25 (me) & 29 (him) and we had been living together for about 6 months, I started to strongly feel that we should get married.

4 long and stressful years later, we are.  He got exactly what he wanted. Grrr…

Post # 89
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

He told me he wanted to marry me about 6 months after we started dating, but he didn’t propose (with a ring anyways) for another two years! I am 26 and he is 32. I thought about a timeline but ultimately it wasn’t the right thing for us. So I waited… and it was hard waiting! But he did it when he was ready. I think as long as you are both on the same page about what you want and know that you want to make a future together it will work out πŸ™‚

Post # 90
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I was 19 when we started discussing marriage and he was 20. We had been dating for a year and a half. I know for a fact that he REALLY wants to marry me and wanted to get married this year (I’m now 20, him 21) but we are waiting until 2015. He just got his first house so we are giving it some time to put more money towards the mortgage! We have a proposal timeline of before May next year

 

Post # 91
Member
262 posts
Helper bee

I am in the process of making a list of goals with my SO so that we can try to figure out a timeline that is a compromise, I have hearing “when we’re ready” “in a few years” “when we’re older” etc. and I also don’t want to pressure him. Having some form of knowledge of when (even if the answer is “we’re definitely waiting until x”) I will be able to stop wondering all the time, and I will be able to let it go a bit. That’s just me, though.

We’ve been together for 3 years, and I turn 22 in 2 weeks. SO is 22 and will be 23 in March.

The topic ‘How old were you and how long were you dating before setting a timeline? Advice?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors