(Closed) how old were you when you met your FI?

posted 11 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 77
Member
420 posts
Helper bee

I know how you feel, I have felt exactly the same way at one point. For me, we met when I was just 18 and now I’m 27. So it is really hard to let go, even if we have really hard times. I always feel like noone will ever understand me or know me, the way he does. That being said, wedding planning is a huge strain on every relationship. Even my Future Sister-In-Law said her and her Fiance almost broke up during the engagement. I know it is scary when you get into your late 20’s or even early 30’s and everyone else around you seems to married with children, and you feel pressure to be at those stages aswell. Take some time for yourself. Think about if you are stressed from the planning or if it really is the relationship. Trust me, many of us have been in your shoes. I have been so aggravated with the Fiance and thought about ending it, but then was worried that I would never find anyone. It is important to marry for the right reasons. It is hard to distinguish those, when you are in the process of planning. I think when you get older, out of the twenties, things move along faster. By then, you have had enough time to Date that you know what you want. If you do decided to call it off, I’m certain you will meet your mister right. Is there anyone that you can talk to? How long have you been together? You can PM me if you need to talk to someone objective. I am a stranger, so if you decide to stay together and marry him, you will never have to worry I will spill your pre-wedding jitter, beans.

Best of luck to you. Follow your heart, not your mind.

Post # 78
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Are you kidding me? For me, it was the later the better! Laughing

I always knew that for me getting married in my 20’s was way too young.  I didn’t want to meet or marry anyone until I was at least 30.  Many mental health professionals say that you do not know who you truly are or what you really need until you are at least in your late twenties.  The psychologist from e-harmony says 28. 

I met my FH when I was 31.  We’re getting married in two months.  I’ll be 36.  He is going to be 44.  The only reason we waited for so long was b/c he got laid off for a while and the economy pretty much blew his field out of the water so he had to go back to school.  But even still I’m glad we waited.  We grew and grew.  We’ve lived together 3 and a half years.  We’re more ready than ever.  I am so glad I’m getting married now as opposed to in my twenties or even when I was 30.  I’m even glad we’re getting married now as opposed to three years ago!  He goes to therapy, so do I, we go to couples therapy.  We’re so ready.  We have so much faith our marriage is going to last and be strong. You need to have that faith for most of your relationship, wake up virtually every day glad to be with your partner, in order to know that this is  the one you should marry.

I say this to be helpful: my FH would never treat me the way your guy is treating you.  (I checked out one of your earlier posts).  He is polite, sweet, respectful and I know he would totally be disgusted and baffled at how he is treating you.  I’ve seen him do it with men who don’t treat their wives/girlfriends like queens.  Girl you need someone sweet, loving, committed, and who has no doubts about you!!!  Sorry I know I don’t know you or him but trust me there is so much better out there. One way I knew he was the one was b/c others told me I had something good and I’d better not let it go!  If you keep hearing that about a guy you’re with, that’s a good sign!  If you’re not, that’s a sign it’s time to move on.

You know someone once told me when I was looking for the right person that the guy should always be a little more in love with the woman than the woman is with him?  That might sound wrong but I think what she was trying to say is that he should for the most part always be making a fuss over you, he should worship the ground you walk on, and make you his number one priority.  Almost like he’s “whipped.” lol.  I mean that in a good way. Hey, if this sounds like your guy, stay with him.  If not, I say keep looking b/c there is so much better out there.

Post # 79
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I met my Fiance last year at work, at the time he was 20 and I was the age I am now, which is 26, birthday next month. I know it seems hard, but I think that everyone gets a little scared about marriage, just hold your head high and I am sure everything will work out. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 80
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

we met at 14. went to the same high school, but weren’t friends… just had a lot of mutual friends. we “re-met” when i was 19 and he was 21 because i was sitting with two of those mutual friends at a bar during our winter breaks from college. we dated long distance for almost two years, finished school, moved in together, and five years later we’re tying the knot ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 81
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I met my love when I was 22 and he was 25. I was just finishing up my last year at college, and it was perfect timing. I had just gotten my real big girl job and he was climbing the ladder in his career.

Post # 82
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We met when I was 28 and he was 29. I’ll be 32 when we get married this August and we’ll most likely try for a baby when I’m 34.

Post # 83
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I was 29 1/2 when i met my dear Fiance and he was 33.  Now we are engaged and will be married at ages 34 and 38.  We also plan to start a family too right after we get married, I want an early start because i love children and want at least 2 or 3 ๐Ÿ™‚  It’s never too late to meet your soulmate.  Previous to meeting my Fiance, I dated a couple guys for brief 2 year relationships.  But i refused to settle, my heart knew what it wanted the minute i first laid eyes on my dear Fiance.

Post # 84
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I was 14 and he was 15. We will be 22 and 23 when we get married.

Post # 85
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We met a few weeks after I turned 26… and we just got married 12 days ago (we’re both 30 now).  Laughing

Post # 86
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I met my fiance when I was 33.  He is 41.  I’m 34 and we’re getting married in less than 2 months.  We got engaged within 10 months of meeting each other.

Post # 87
Member
722 posts
Busy bee

We met at 19-but started dating when i was 32 and he was in his late 30’s. I will be 37 when we get married.

I have ton of friends who met their husbands/wives in their 30’s-really, the majority of them did.

Post # 88
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

we met when i was i was 18 he was 20. We were freinds a long time and each of us was with other people for a while before we started dating.

Post # 89
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I was 28, he was 24….I will be 30 and he will be 26 when we get married….

We almost got engaged soon after we met, but held off and even brokeup…then got back together….had an off and on relationship for awhile….he went through a period of extreme confusion etc……. 

but then one day he realized that everything could end, and I could move on and leave him, and never take him back…..and that I really want kids, and am not going to compromise for a confused, immature person….so one day he just finally wokeup/grewup/matured and changed his attitude and we have been going strong ever since….we got engaged after he realized he wanted to definitely spend the rest of his life with me (I must add we had a meddling future Mother-In-Law too)

Nothing could keep us apart……even with all the outside influences:) 

Post # 90
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We were both almost 26 and in grad school.

Post # 91
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We met a week before my 30th and he is 8 years older.  It was well worth the wait.

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