(Closed) How open are you when talking to others about TTC?

posted 4 years ago in TTC
  • poll: How open are you when talking about TTC?
    I go full TMI : (6 votes)
    7 %
    Somewhat vague and conservative : (26 votes)
    29 %
    I dont talk about it at all with casual acquaintances : (57 votes)
    64 %
  • Post # 2
    8674 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2016

     in my experience the moment any acquaintance or family finds out i’m TTC they tell me I need to “stop stressing”.

    Friends are the only people who know to just be like “oh cool! gl!”.. so I only tell friends now.

    Post # 3
    1560 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    I just had my iud out yesterday and we start ttc this cycle and NO one knows but my best friend and my husband (obviously). My mom knows that I had my iud taken out and that we’re getting close to trying but I’ve given her no details. My mom is also the type to say ‘don’t stress’ and I’ve actually heard her imply that someone’s miscarriage or infertility is their fault. She got pregnant both times 1st try so she thinks everyone does and their generation doesn’t talk about stuff so I’ll just tell her when we announce near the end of my first trimester. 

    I think it’s way too personal to talk about with strangers. The most I’d say is that we want to start a family soon. No more

    Post # 4
    7268 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I don’t think i would ever share this with casual acquaintances. So far the only person who knows we’re about to start trying is my best friend…and of course the Bee lol. I think if it ends up taking us awhile I will open up to my parents about it and maybe a few other really close friends, but for now I feel very private about it. I just don’t want people to know because then they’re going to be constantly waiting to hear that we’re expecting and blahhh…that stresses me out.

    Post # 5
    3294 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I never shared intimate details with friends or strangers, however I did share that we had fertility problems.

    after a while I got so sick of smiling and saying ‘oh we’re in no rush’ or ‘someday’ whenever anyone asked if we were planning a family, that I was just honest and said that we wanted but that we were having fertility treatment … tended to shut them up faster. 

    Post # 6
    4034 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

    View original reply
    calliekalico2 :  I’m very vague with acquaintances… It actually has come up in my workplace where one of my co-workers felt bold enough to ask me if I was pregnant because I was talking about how a (future) pregnancy might be the tipping point that would encourage my Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law to move to our town. I was surprised that he felt comfortable enough to ask! I don’t anticipate telling anyone about our TTC plans or when I actually get pregnant until I’m at least out of the first trimester, but probably much later for co-workers. 

    Post # 7
    83 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    A few of my close friends know.  When We first started the process pretty much everyone in my office knew, but since then a few people have left and I have not said anything to the new people.  I like telling people at work because they can be supportive if I am having a hard day or need to miss work for appointments.  Also, I can tell them things without worrying that it will get back to my friend circle or my family. We havent told our families what is going on because I feel like it would turn into us emotionally supporiting them through the process and I just dont have that in me.

    But I am also a social worker and I work with really supportive people, so feel compfortable telling them what is going on.  If I had a different job I might not feel the same way. 

    Post # 8
    1383 posts
    Bumble bee

    I didn’t even tell my close friends or family that we’re trying. It’s no one’s business. 

    Post # 9
    8459 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t really feel the need to be like HEY WE’RE HAVING SEX OVER HERE! SEX! SPERM MEET EGG!

    Plus it gets a little weird if you don’t conceive right away, IMO. Like I’ve heard people in the office talk about it and then a year goes by and nothing…but obviously I’m not going to pry into their personal lives.

    Post # 10
    1259 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2022 - Maui

    i mean i dont bring it up out of the blue to randomn strangers but if someone wants to talk about it, iʻm all in cuz I hate that itʻs almost taboo to talk about the worries and stresses and private thoughts about potentional parenthood and i refuse to add to that taboo. My friends and I dish it all and nothing is off limits cuz weʻre adults and itʻs nice to be able to just get it out sometimes 🙂 Iʻm just not a very private person I guess

    Post # 11
    9439 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    We aren’t planning on telling anyone that we are TTC – not friends, not family, and definetly not casusal aquaintances. I don’t want others’ opions or thoughts on the matter. I don’t want to feel added pressure with others wondering/asking if I got pregnant that cycle.

    When people ask when we are planning on having kids I just say “We’ll get around to it eventually.”

    Post # 12
    2343 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    DH and I actually haven’t told anyone that we’re TTC. We feel that it’s really no ones business but our own – when we have news to share and are ready to share it, then all the important people will be told. 

    In saying that, a lot of my friends and some family have known for a couple of years now how much I want to have a baby – I’m sure they either think we’re TTC or are having fertility problems (this is only our 4th cycle trying so no idea if there are or not yet) but they’re not prying, which is exactly how I like it.

    Post # 13
    6331 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Well, my TTC consists of a surprise pregnancy, and I’m happy to share that detail with people. 

    Post # 14
    9758 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    No one in real life knows we are TTC.

    Its enough pressure as is from other people.

    Post # 15
    326 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I told my girlfriends at work, trust them enough with that info, but we are not close enough for them to bug me about it. One of the biggest reasons I haven’t told any family or close friends. Too much pressure ! 

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