(Closed) How others view my weight /rant

posted 6 years ago in Fitness
Post # 3
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree that there is a general feeling in our society that you shouldn’t be happy with your body if you’re not a conventional shape and a small size, especially among other women.  Like in a group of women, I notice if one person talks about how they shouldn’t be eating something or how they need to go to the gym, other women will chime in about themselves and what they shouldn’t be eating or what they don’t like about their bodies.

I think accepting the size and shape you are at today is really important and wondering what others are thinking about you is probably counterproductive to that.  I don’t really get the point in hating your body until it gets to a certain size and what that would accomplish anyway.  I guess for some people it can be motivation, but I think most people make healthier choices for themselves when they feel good about themselves.

I know it’s not a switch you can flip on and off but I have felt much better in general since I made an effort to accept my size and shape.  It was a long process of not comparing myself to others, not analyzing in the mirror, and changing negative self-talk to positive self-talk.  Also I stopped engaging with other women on the subject of losing weight.  I listen when friends bring up their concerns about their weight or eating habits but I don’t feel that it’s necessary for me to chime in about mine.

Post # 4
2685 posts
Sugar bee

I know exactly where you are coming from.  I lost 40lbs about 5 years ago and everybody assumed I did so because I wanted to look thinner.  No.  There are many reasons why someone should lose weight and everybody has their own reasons.  I was actually pretty happy with myself when I was heavier.  I wanted to exercise for health reasons and for the challenge, the weight loss was just a bonus.

You’re doing the right thing by seeing this as a long-term lifestyle change and I think you can totally reach your goals ๐Ÿ™‚  Ignore the haters, you’re doing a great thing for yourself.

Post # 6
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Twin Oaks Garden House

@missfrillycoat:  Im 5’10 too!!!! so is my fiance. so yea no heels at our wedding.

Post # 8
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m so sorry you feel this way. Maybe you could hint that those comments are hurtful, in a nice way? Or your man could speak up for you? What’s wrong with your height? It’s not like your 7′ tall, you may be taller than the average woman, but I don’t think that’s an issue. You’re on the right path, whatever they can say.

Post # 9
11520 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@missfrillycoat:  that’s really annoying and I totally feel for you.  My sister has a ‘weird ass body shape’.  She’s 5’10 and rake skinny from the side, but from the front she’s really wide.

I’m 5’4, and if I’m what’s considered a ‘healthy weight – about 115 – I look like I have an eating disorder because I have boobs (have since I was 12, had them when I was 110 pounds) and I have hips (same story).  When I lose too much weight, it comes off my face and my stomach/ribcage.  My shoulder blade protrude, my hip bones stick out, my ribs stick out and I look sick, because I’m carrying weight in my hips and chest.  I’m not built to be 110pounds.  I’m built to be 135 and that’s where I’m happy, healthy and comfortable.

People need to stop judging based on a scale, based on body type etc and love HEALTHY.  HEALTHY is what matters.

Post # 10
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014


Do what is good and healthy for you!  Our bodies are not built the same and metabolism doesn’t either.  For example, folks with diabetes and thyroid issues–they can’t eat the same ways or exercise the same ways as folks without these conditions. What is healthy for one is not healthy for some (and vice versa).


On the flip side, I’ve always been really thin but internally, I’m a raging mess of health problems.  I try to eat really healthy and stay fit because this has helped manage my conditions.  But all I get in response are accusations that I have an eating disorder.  It is SO inappropriate for people to say things like that.  I don’t know where people get off thinking they have a right to just make blatant judgements about people’s weight and health.  


I can’t remember which advice column it was.  The columnist gave great advice: NEVER comment (positively or negatively) on someone’s weight because you never truly know the reasons.  Perhaps the person is ill and can’t control their weight change.  And if you do congratulate them on “looking  great”, what happens when the person puts the weight back on?  


Good for you for staying healthy!!!

Post # 12
12246 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

It sucks that we’re programmed to value looking good over being healthy!

I have a very good friend who looks like a VS model. Whenever she would say “I need to get exercise”, people would go “But you look GREAT!” And she would respond “But I can’t go up a flight of stairs without getting winded. I’m not healthy like this.”

And people never knew what to say! It was crazy.

So good luck on your journey to better health!

Post # 15
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I know how you feel, my family and friends constantly make fun of me to push  me work harder on losing weight I know I gained 20lbs over 3 months, I know they all leaner than I am but I was happy


but then….. thanks to them, I actually more commited to the whole weight losing plan. cuz’ I’m born to be competitor, if one tell me I cannot do it I will prove them wrong. 

If someone tell me I looks fine, take it easy……….which mean I will never reach my goal. 

Now that I lost 10lbs, lookng bad I feel silly to find it was offensive.. yes, at one point I get mad and think thanks for telling me u keep losing weight without trying….. 

Post # 16
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I hear ya!!!

My problem is slightly different though. I need to lose weight for health reasons, I am 60lbs over weight, I gained it all very quickly which is even more unealthy for my heart. Heart problems run in my family and Fiance and I eventually want to have kids but I am in the high risk category for gestational diabetes if we were to concieve at my current weight. I feel sluggish and slow, I get winded easily and I feel like I am trapped in a body thats not mine.

When I tell family and friends I am losing weight, instead of support, encouragement or motivation they all say things like “Oh you dont need to lose weight you are beautiful” or “dont let tv and magazines get you down you are lovely the way you are”…..I feel your frustration though because these are times I want to scream. I am not doing it because I want to look like a model, I am not going it to impress others, I am doing it because I gained 70lbs in two years and i’m unhealthy. So many people are scared to say encouraging things everyone usues the cop out of “youre beautiful blah blah blah”….what I need is support not empty forced comments. I won a bikini contest the summer I met my Fiance, I know I can look good thats not the issue, im not doing this for anyone but me. I dont feel good, I feel sluggish, I hate shopping but I dont pity myself and I hate when people pity me i my weight loss battle. I wish someone would say “good for you, thats great that you are taking control of your health, keep up the good work”

Weight is so often viewed as a beauty thing not a health thing. The focus should be on the health aspects not the beauty and maybe so many people wouldnt feel so bad about themselves. People are beautiful at any size thats known, but being able to commend someone for their hard work, and support them on their health goals is taboo in society now, which is why I get the shallow comments about my beauty isntead of real comments and conversations about my health.

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