(Closed) How private are you?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How private are you?
    I'm private. Rarely share our private details but SO does & I hate it : (8 votes)
    7 %
    My SO is private but im a talker & he hates it : (9 votes)
    7 %
    We both keep our private business between us : (52 votes)
    42 %
    We both share with friends : (19 votes)
    15 %
    Should never involve family in your private affairs : (27 votes)
    22 %
    I always turn to my family : (6 votes)
    5 %
    I've turned to family & now they are against my SO. Won't do it again : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    882 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    We are definitely private but to a certain degree. There’s just some things only a woman can say as in woman to woman that a man can just never do! LOL so it’s cool to have awesome friends and family to go to but definitley not always! : )

    Post # 4
    11324 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    None of your options aplied to me. My husband is very private, which is fine with me. I am not private at all, and my husband is fine with that. Although I will say that I draw a big distinction with what I tell who. I tell my best friend just about everything because I know that she loves both me AND my husband and that she can give me really good advice sometimes and tell me when I’m wrong (or give me confidence that I’m not wrong, sometimes). I know that she will never hold anything I tell her against my husband or bring it up to him. I also tell my mom a lot of stuff, but only good things. I make it a point to never complain to my family about my husband because I know it would be harder for them to 1) realize that I am similarly imperfect and 2) forgive and forget as quickly as I do. 

    Post # 5
    3120 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My momma always said, “Don’t share your problems because people don’t forget but you forget in the bedroom!” I only share positive things, with the occasional gripe (FI won’t pick up his socks!)

    Post # 6
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012


    I voted for the first option.

    I am extremely private.  There are things in my life I haven’t and would never tell my own mother about.  I have the opposite problem (and it is a major problem) with my Fiance. He is currently living with his parents, and he tells his bloody mother just about everything…including what I consider my personal business.  And I know she doesn’t keep her bloody mouth shut so it ends up being shared with all his family.

    We’ve had many arguments over it.   He thinks it is being ‘close’ with his family.  I think it is not understanding that at the age of 41/43 respectively, we need to have boundaries….and more importantly, privacy.

    Luckily he will be moving 200 hundred miles away from his parents in the near future.  

    Post # 7
    2755 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m a talker and terrible at keeping secrets. It’s not that I tell everyone I know, of course, but I have a circle of friends who I go to for emotional support (and vice versa). My best friend knows absolutely everything that goes on in my relationship, but she’s practically my sister and has been there since I fell for Fiance (it’s because of her that he finally stopped being a dummy and asked me out), so she has the best perspective on things out of anyone else I could talk to.

    That said, Fiance is VERY private and there are things I do keep to just us. Definitely don’t talk to almost anyone about our “bedroom” issues because I do think those things are just for us.

    Post # 8
    9028 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    we both keep things private

    Post # 8
    5524 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

    It depends for me.. things like our fights/issues etc.. we pretty much keep to ourselves. But issues I have with his family.. I talk to my friends and the bees and he doesn’t really like that all of that is online lol

    Post # 9
    1796 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’m private and Darling Husband really isn’t. But we made an agreement early on that we would never share our problems with family members. Often family members will hold a grudge long after the couple forgives each other.

    Post # 10
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I am extremely private. I don’t see the need to share overly personal things with friends or family. My SO is less private and it drives me nuts sometimes. He will blurt things out in front of people that I never told them and I want to hit him. I’m very talkative and open with people but I don’t share every detail. In fact I leave most details out. If something is important I will mention it.

    Post # 11
    2467 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I didn’t vote, and my situation is more like @CorgiTales; dh is def not a talker, but I am to a certain extent, with a select few people I confide in, and dh is fine with that. like, right now I’m ready ttc and dh isn’t–if I only talk about it with him, it’ll drive him crazy, and if I don’t say anything to anyone, I’ll go crazy. So I talk to my mom and my bff about it occassionally, and had one really cathartic convo about it with my bro and sil when they found out they were expecting their second baby. Dh knows i’ve talked to them all but understands. Similarly, before we got engaged I was getting impatient and would confide to a few friends, and he understood and appreciated that. or I’ve also vented about smaller things too, or asked advice from friends. we have a pretty even-keeled relationship though, so there’s nothing that I’ve ever said that a friend or family member could potentially hold against dh. Most our bickering is usually about chores, so no one is going to be like, “dh, you’re a terrible person bc you didn’t take the garbage out immediately,” you know? 😉

    Post # 12
    3004 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I don’t often like talking about fights with other people because I don’t want them to get a skewed perception of him. I certainly don’t say anything to my famly because things with them have been rough for a while. Occasionally I message close internet friends if I really need advice that won’t ruin friendships, and sometimes I’ll ask for my close friends (whom I know won’t change their opinion on them when I’m really hurt) if I need to. I don’t think he really talks about it to other people, and I try to keep his family out of them. The only time I ever say anything to his mom is after we’ve made up if it was something silly like my birthday arguement, but I don’t talk about intimate stuff with her or his dad. I don’t want to add any more drama to an already dramatic issue. 

    Post # 13
    7605 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Neither of us air our dirty laundry for anyone to see.  Not that there’s much of it, but when we’re upset or arguing about something, we’re the only two who know about it.

    Post # 14
    704 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    One of the reasons Fiance and I got together is because we’re both private. I think he’s more private than I am but our business is ours alone.

    Post # 15
    294 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I am pretty private. I will share the gripes like he steals the remote or turns down the heat, but if we have had issues before I have one friend I will talk to but that is about it. In a past relationship I told my mom and sister a lot and they eneded up hating him. Rightly so in the end, but I learned my lesson. We haven’t had any problems or big issues yet, but if we do it will be between us, well and maybe you ladies too. lol

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