How put together is your life and you?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
4094 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Oh honey, nobody has it all together! But what you are going through sounds more medical than anything else.  How’s your Thyroid?  Do you take any vitamins? I would make an appointment with your Dr and maybe even ask about a sleep study.  

As for my life…I thrive on chaos.  But I sleep like a rock, eat healthy(ish), get some kind of exercise every day, and take my vitamins every morning. But I’m not wearing any makeup, my hair is stuffed into a baseball cap, and it’s been a while since I’ve showered. But my teeth are brushed lol! My house is tidy, my bills are paid, but there are certainly far more organized homes and bank accounts than mine. 

Life is a constant state of flux.  Things change.  I know it’s cliche, but that is the only contstant.  Embrace the ebb and flow of life. Because no matter where you’re at right now, give it time and it’ll change.  But in the mean time, you need to be taking care of yourself and if that means medical intervention, by all means, do it!  

Post # 31
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I’m finally at a point in my life where I feel pretty settled (I’m 36 and Darling Husband is 43).  What you are explaining is exactly what I was like as a single mom though, before I met him.  It was very difficult to keep up with everything!  Now my husband and I have a routine and we both clean and make the kids clean up after themselves (which helps a lot!) and have home cooked meals almost every night.  Does your husband help out enough?  Because that makes a huge difference!  Luckily my husband is a little OCD lol and likes to keep everything clean (so do I) and he also loves to cook so he does a lot of that.  Maybe have a discussion with him and go over things that each of you can be doing around the house and make it routine and eventually things will become easier and you will feel more in control.  I know that feeling you are describing it can be very depressing/ exhausting.

Post # 33
5816 posts
Bee Keeper

OP first thing you need to do is get a complete physical and you also need to tell your doctor everything you’ve told us because if you’re sleeping more than usual and still chronically tired, it could be depression or thyroid or anemia or even a combination of things. Please make time to focus on self-care, even if you have to drag yourself to the doctor, you’re not being fair to yourself if you’re beating yourself up for not being more on top of things without looking into why. 

Also, please don’t compare yourself to others, there’s often more behind the scenes. For me, personally, I’ve struggled with anxiety, and when I’m anxious I have trouble focusing- so I clean when I’m anxious because I need something to do with my nervous energy. And when things feel out of control, I try to control what I can, so I’m well groomed and the house is super clean and I’ve probably cooked up a storm in the kitchen. So you might come visit me and think ‘wow she worked all day and still has a clean house and gourmet hors d’oevres to serve with wine or coffee and her hair and make-up look great’  but it’s really just me going through a bad time and trying to cope in my own way. Ironically, if you come over and I’m wearing yoga pants and a ponytail and have to shove newspapers and folded laundry over to make a space on the cofffee table for you to put the Timbits I asked you to bring over because I don’t think there’s anything handy to serve with coffee- I’m probably really happy and un-stressed 🙂

Post # 34
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I agree with PP that you should first have some blood work done to check for things like anemia, thyroid levels, vitamin deficiency, etc. I was anemic in high school and was tired all. the. time. Once I got that taken care of I felt so much better. 

Unfortunately, what you’re describing could also be symptoms of depression, which I dealt with in my early 20s. It was a dark time and pretty scary — it was very overwhelming to think of having to see a psychiatrist/counselor and discuss my life and emotions, and then deal with the possibility of having to go on medication and deal with those side effects. 

I will say, though, that while it may have been scary at first, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I dreaded my first few counseling sessions and hated the idea of having to drag up all these negative emotions, but I felt lighter each time I left. It’s nice to have a neutral party (who also happens to be an expert in what you’re dealing with) to talk to. Also, a lot of doctors won’t immediately/automatically prescribe you medication. They’ll do what you’re comfortable with. Also, medication isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I’m happily off my medication now but there was a point in time where I just wasn’t mentally prepared or strong enough to go without it. And, not all anti-depressants affect people the same way.

Post # 35
179 posts
Blushing bee

I swear I posted; not sure what happened..

Appearance: I struggle with my flufflyish curly hair, and wear light makeup. Wish I could have a professional tell me what to do for both!

Clothes: Dress fine for work but very casual otherwise. Lacking much fashion courage.

Cooking: I do light cooking and either it happens on Sunday or it doesn’t happen at all. Great and healthy work lunches but lazy at night (coco puffs anyone?)

Health: Thin but out of shape. Bit lazy. Love cheese and pasta. And nutella.

Home: Pretty decently when it’s under my control, but I live with roommates and two dogs, and while they don’t leave messes everywhere, neither do they seem to ever clean much. My room and bathroom are pretty decent and I vacuum all carpet weekly (it’s still not enough; I adore the pups but jeepers).

Lifestyle: Introverted and hermity usually, likely more than is best for me. I visit friends and family but need to get out more! In an LDR, so we skype daily. Working on getting out more and hosting fun events. Love to travel.

Work: Low morale; bit of a sinking ship. Not very challenging; doesn’t utilize a LOT of what I learned. No opportunities for training, networking, career advancement, etc. Seeking jobs where soldier bf is. J I find myself unmotivated and discreetly doing personal things at work, but have managed good feedback and always contribute to projects and problems.

Money: I’m pretty good with my money for the most part. I have a budget, I pay my credit card, I have an excellent credit score. I really like Target though. I’m frugal generally and feel that paying more than $5-6 on fast food is expensive. I’ve even decided I don’t need an actual diamond ring.

Generally pretty content with life, but definitely stress about what our finances will be like when I move to my boyfriend if I’m not able to earn as much as I do now – plus what about the next place they station him? The place after that? We both have student loans we pay and I hate the idea of dipping into my savings for that. I’m pretty emotionally stable and happy aside from ADD and some anxiety. Trying to work on the state of our house, owning a bit less, and paying off my car early.

If you feel you are not where you should be emotionally, seek help! I agree with other suggestions about speaking with a doctor or even counseling of some sort. They may help you identify where this is all stemming from.

Post # 37
1128 posts
Bumble bee

jalvia :  lol.

My apartment is a wreck.  So is my car.

I do my makeup while I’m in traffic on my way into work and there is cat fur actually woven into the fabric of my clothes permanently.

Post # 39
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Try not to be too hard on yourself! There are definitely days where I feel guilty for coming home from work and just lounging around watching TV instead of cleaning, cooking, organizing, etc., but then I remind myself that if I take a day or two for myself and don’t do any thing around the house it’s not the end of the world! I feel like women have a lot of pressure placed on them to be in charge of everything when it comes to the house or to somehow work a full-time job but then also make sure the house isn’t overflowing with clutter, and sometimes it can just be a really tough balancing act.

Post # 40
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

jalvia :  

Get your thyroid checked asap…seriously. 

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