Post # 1
There seem to be four big steps in the 1/2/3/4 progression of relationships…
The Modern Way seems to be to progressively test drive the relationship through its natural phases:
- Move in together
- Get engaged
- Get married
Then there is the "my parents will kill me if we move in before I’m engaged." <– This is the path that Mrs. Bee and I took.
- Get Engaged
- Move in together
- Get Married
Then the good ol’, "There is no way we’re living in sin" approach:
- Get Engaged
- Get Married
- Move in together
Haha I guess they are all the same, except for the timing of when you and your SO move in together.
When did you move in together (or plan to move in together): after you’d been dating for a while, after you got engaged, or after you got married?
Post # 3
We moved in together after dating for a year. We probably would have waited longer, but his lease was up and his roomate planned on moving in with her BF.
Post # 4
We’ll do the following:
- get engaged
- move in together (but only 2 mos before the wedding b/c of the lease purchase home I am in and fulfilling some obligations to that contract and so we can save $$ 2 mos before and have a smooth move/transition)
- get married
Ours is a financial and somewhat moral issue since we’re parents. If it seems to be a bit confusing for the kids, we’ll do JOP quickly (like my friends did) and have he dress, minister, tux, reception wedding on the original date later this summer/early fall.
Post # 5
We dated for about a year and a half before we moved in together. It was another year before we got engaged.
Post # 6
We took the modern way approach and moved in together after dating for two years. I was stuck in a difficult situation with my parents (long story), and I moved in with a friend. I was at my fiance’s place practically everyday, and it made the most sense to move in together. We were engaged less than a year later, and we’ve been super happy with our living situation.
Post # 7
I’d lived with boyfriends before (2), and by the time I met Fiance I was so, completely, over it. I’d just moved into an amazing new flat, had great new friends and a lot going on socially, that there was no way I wanted to tie myself down in any capacity with a domestic partnership. Furthermore, while I don’t regret living with boyfriends (in fact living with them was what helped me realize we weren’t right together), I’d come to the conclusion at some point that it was just not something I wanted to to again.
Fiance and I were crazy in love when I found out unexpectedly that I had to move back to the States, and if we wanted to stay together he’d have to come with me. Without an employment visa, and in a country he was unfamiliar with, it made no sense for him to live alone, so we sublet a condo together for a few months.
When he moved back to Europe I lasted all of six weeks without him, hopped on a plane, and we’ve been living together since (which also works best, as now I’m the one without the work visa, job or car).
Just goes to show how easily sometimes what you think you least want can sneak up on you (and make you insanely happy).
Post # 8
We moved in together after almost a year, but we decided after only 4 1/2 months!! We were LD and the main decision was for me to move back to Seattle. It didn’t make sense until my research season (I travelled for research during the northern fall and early winter) was over, so I moved after that!
It’s nuts b/c I never, ever could have imagined making such drastic life changes for a guy so quickly until we started dating. It was 2 1/2 year after we moved in that we got engaged (mostly b/c of my wanting to graduate first).
Post # 9
Oooh Mr. Bee, you are at 666 posts. I think you need to post again.
2) Avoid him for 3 years
3) Date (long distance) for 2 years
4) State unequivically that I will never move in with someone unless we are engaged
5) He moves in (so much for #4!)
6) Get engaged (4 months after he moves in)
7) Marriage (15 months after engagement)
Post # 10
We probably moved in together too soon, after only dating a year, but we moved apart for a year, just to check and make sure we were on the right track. 🙂 Moving in together before getting married was definitely a good thing for us. 🙂
Post # 11
We moved in together as soon as we were "pre-engaged" – knew we were going to get married and just hadn’t done the offical ring thig yet!
Post # 12
We started dating and within about a month or two we were spending every night together, but taking turns staying at each other’s places. After a few months of that we started staying at his place only and after 6 moz decided to move in together officially.
Almost exactly 1 yr later he proposed. We moved pretty quickly, but we’ve both been in many relationships and sometimes you just know when things click 🙂
Post # 13
My Fiance and I…we’re strange. Love at first kiss. Our scenario is non-traditional to say the least, and Mr. Bee I couldn’t even answer the Poll because we’re none of those!!
1. Kiss in an elevator
2. Move in together
3. Date for a while
4. Get engaged
5. Get married
Yep, you read that right! We moved in before we even really started to date! It was that instant of a connection. I can’t explain it. We just knew. Really, from the start we knew we’d get married!
Post # 14
Our Short Story:
- Dated for over 6 years
- Bought a House
- Got engaged 11 months later
- Getting married 9 months after engagement
We were young so it took us longer, but I’m glad we took it slow!
Post # 15
We moved in together after about three months of dating – yikes, eh!? I always said I would never want to live with someone before marriage, and my friends would tell me I was crazy and old-fashioned. But there were soo many extenuating circumstances…
– We were both living/working in Mexico, in apartments directly on the campus of the research facility
– Admin kicked me out of my apartment over Christmas to give to someone with more seniority, thus I was living with my boss for a few months (so awkward).
– After the important person moved out of my old apartment… admin assigned it to FH!
– I was going crazy living with my boss, no new apartments were coming available, we were trying to decide whether it was a serious enough relationship to start immigration/visa proceedings so we could be together after our contracts… so it just made sense for us!
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall
I’m the "unique" vote. The man and I were good firends (and coworkers too) and both broke up from other relationships. I had a big apartment and no roommate to help me fill (and pay for) it, and he had no place to live. So, he moved in. And we started dating. So yes, we’ve been living together since before we started dating. (Though we’ve since moved to another home together, and one of us switched departments at work.) It was/is a good situation for us in so many ways. A huge learning experience and we know exactly what to expect from each other in most situations.