(Closed) How quickly did you move in together?

posted 12 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: When did you (or when do you plan to) move in together?

    After we've been dating for a while

    After we get engaged

    After we get married

    Never: we're still long distance, even after getting married!

    None of the above. My situation is unique and defies categorization.

  • Post # 77
    309 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    What a fun post!

    1. Meet at 14 (he was 17).
    2. Fall out of touch for about 8 years.
    3. We facebook/AIM message back and forth for about a month when I was 21 (he was 24). Hang out once or twice with friends during Spring 07. Spend a slightly awkward summer keeping in touch via the internet.
    4. Hang out for a week at the end of August 07/started dating (at which time I almost blew things because I was afraid he liked me too much/things were going to blow up in my face and thus I was afraid to hang out with him and almost didn’t).
    5. I move to DC at the end of August of 07. He visits twice before moving up in October 07 (to the same complex).
    6. We have different apartments (but he always sleeps at my place) from October – Feb.
    7. Move in together in Feb 08.
    8. Get engaged December 08.
    9. Get married March 10.

    Post # 78
    25 posts
    • Wedding: May 2011

    We are an extremely non-traditional situation as well.

    1. Met in the 8th grade.

    2. After being friends for 12 years, started dating.

    3. After dating for 1 month, we got engaged.

    4. He will be moving in with me in June, just 5 months after we got engaged.

    5. We will be getting married 1 year after he moves in.

    Really the circumstances are what is causing us to move in together.  He lives in a different town, roughly 2 hours from where I live.  He is a teacher, and in order to make our relationship work he has to move here where I live (as I have a contract with the government to stay in my job for another year and a half).  So, he resigned and since I own my house he will move in here and break his lease.  I never intended to live with someone prior to marrying them but once we were engaged it was just accepted.  My family is not as accepting, but it is right for us.

    Post # 79
    1105 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    This is a great post!!  I always said the same thing, I’ll never live with anyone until I get married.  So much for that!!  Here is the way it has gone and I wouldn’t change anything:

     1. Met online (he was living in FL and I’m in KS) planned on moving back to his hometown in KS before he met me.   April 2, 2008

    2. Talked on phone for 3 weeks and I decided to fly out to FL and then drive in uhaul with him back to KS.  April 30th 2008

    3. Starting dating from moment I flew out to FL and knew this was the real thing!  Started talking about him moving in with me, because I own my own home and he was just staying with his brother until he found some place else.  May, June, July, August, September and October of 2008.

    4. Got engaged October 10th 2008.

    5. He moved in November of 2008.

    6. Getting married Ocotber 3rd of 2009.

     Sounds really quick looking back, but it feels like we have known each other for years and that we’ve always been together.  We compliment each other very well and the transition from living by myself to living with my significant other has been great!!!  So much for not living with him before we got married, but I can’t imagine it any other way now!

    Post # 80
    1379 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    This post is AWESOME!!!

    Here’s our timeline: 

    1) July 2002: Meet – Summer after my freshman and his soph year of college

    2) Fall 2002: IM & many late night flirty phone calls while he was in school in Virginia and I was in school in Boston 

    3) Winter 2002 – 2003: Date while home on winter break (we grew up 10 minutes apart but never knew each other!)

    4) February 2003: Date long distance for about a month – ha that didnt last long, we were both in big time "college" mode!

    5) 2003 – 2006: Remain good friends while we dated other people and generally lived our own lives … (with a randomly make out one night in 2004 )

    6) March 5, 2006: Second first date

    7) May 2007: I move into his condo

    8) May 2008: Engaged!!

    9) Jan – April 2009: Currently in our three months of long distance due to work for me

    10) January 2010: Wedding!!!!! 

    After nearly 8 years since we met. I thought we had a crazy story but some of you ladies have great love stories!! 


    Post # 81
    26 posts
    • Wedding: October 2009


    Love this post, great idea!

     Our Timeline, strange situation because we work and live on a cruise ship!

    Met and were friends

    Started dating, then did long distance for 5 months

    After being back together for 3-4 months, moved in together (only way to have privacy on the ship)

    4.5 years later, engaged and still living together in a tiny cabin!

    Hopefully someday we will have our own bigger place!



    Post # 82
    2680 posts
    Sugar bee

    We will be been together 6 years by the time we get married.  I have lived on my own or with a roommate since we met, though my parents help with my rent and other financial stuff.  My dad is completely against us living together before we are married so we both have separate apartments.  I am actually moving into our new place this weekend, and he will be moving in about 5 days before the wedding.  We have talked to my dad about this (my mom doesnt really mind but has to support my dads decision ha) and he is ok with it and knows logistically it makes sense to get everything moved before the wedding.  Otherwise he would be paying an extra month at his apt until we get back from the honeymoon.

    Post # 83
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    So I probably should have gone with "my situation is unique", but eh. I voted for moving in together after we’re married, because that’s when we are going to be moving in together. But only for financial reasons. We’re both university students (undergrad), and are living with our parents for the duration of the time it takes to get our degrees (rent-free, yay!), and we’re waiting to get married until after we get our degrees mainly because we want to be able to move in together once we’re married, and so we have to wait until we’ve graduated so that we can move out of our parents’ houses (an in together). 

    It’s convoluted and weird, but neither of us would have a problem with moving in together now, except for the financial burden! 

    Post # 84
    216 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    It seems like the generalization people often make about living together before marriage is that those of us who do it have a test drive mentality (as Mr Bee said in his original post).  I personally find it a little inaccurate for those of us who didn’t grow up  believing that marriage was a necessary part of building a lifelong partnership with someone else. 

    My husband and I bought a condo and moved in together two years into our relationship, and we treated it with the same seriousness as marriage.  At the time we decided that was the level of legal commitment we needed beyond the emotional commitment we had already articulated to each other many times over.   It was only over the next two years of committed co-habitation that we began to differentiate between what we were doing, and marriage.  Living together wasn’t party of a conscious journey toward marriage, but I’m a big fan because it helped us explore the differences and decide which one was right for us.  

    Post # 85
    18 posts
    • Wedding: September 2009

    We actually "moved in" together technically after about 6 weeks of dating… Not really on purpose but we lived in different cities and I got staffed on a project (we are consultants) in DC to be near him. Of course I was staying at his place rather than a hotel so things escalated pretty quickly. I started moving my stuff down slowly every weekend and I would say I was fully moved in by around 4 or 5 months. We moved fast! But I’m still here 🙂

    Post # 86
    145 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    We didn’t officially publicly move in together until we had been together for about 9 months. That being said, I was staying over 1 or 2 nights a week after about 2 months, then about 5 nights a week after about 5 months, and finally moved out of my dorm room and into his apartment (with a big ol’ fight with the parents accompanying) full time when the school year ended. 

    Prior to the fight with the parents, I was going to school 45 minutes away and coming back to my hometown to work on the weekends. Thus, my parents knew where I was on the weekends and expected me to stay at their house. During the week, we all pretended like I was staying in my dorm room at school instead of making a daily commute from his apartment in my hometown. I know my parents knew this wasn’t the case, but until I announced that I’d be staying with him on the weekends if I damn well pleased, they were able to pretend it wasn’t happening. Threats of punishment of one variety of another were thrown about, but I was already fairly financially independent and suggested they probably didn’t want to ruin our usually stellar parent-child relationship by treating me like the child I no longer was. Whee!

    A number of my friends and acquaintances are starting to move in or consider moving in with their significant others. They come to me for advice, and I really have very little to offer. The move-in occured so gradually over a pretty extended period of time, so there was a really natural progression of our relationship, as well as our understanding of the other’s habits, quirks and pet peeves. We never drove each other bonkers or had any particular fights about our shared living space since we gradually adapted to each other.

    Post # 87
    256 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Here’s our timeline:

    -date for 3.5 years

    -break up for 1

    -get back together

    -after 6 months move in together

    -1.5 years later get engaged

     1.5 years later get married!

    We met in 2002 and will be married in 2010 – so a grand total of 8 years in the making!

    Post # 88
    1573 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    we’ll be living with each other after we get married; mainly because we’re long-distance and intercontinental


    good thing because some Catholic churches won’t marry you if you have lived with each other, plus I couldn’t look my family in the eye if we did


    so we’re one of the few traditional couples

    Post # 89
    14181 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Oh no, i don’t get to be the only one who checks "still living long distance after marriage" LOL.

    Yep, that’s us. Damn Army 

    Post # 90
    15 posts
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Our time line:

    Best friends 1+ yr

    Dated for 1 month

    Moved in together (very quick)

    Continued to date for 3 years

    Bought a house together (both names on the deed)

    Engaged 1 year after buying house

    2010 = Wedding!

    Post # 91
    1266 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Started dating at 16

    he went away to University for 4 years in Texas

    came home and lived with his parents for 9 months

    Bought our first home in Feb 2008

    He proposed in April 2008

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