(Closed) How quickly things change (update)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@WestCoast:  Whoa, that’s a lot of news! Congratulations on getting into a top grad school! That is a great accomplishment! What kind of program is it? Is it at all possible to plan a wedding during a spring break (if you have one)? And is it the kind of grad program where you would possibly have publications? If you’re doing any sort of research, it may be helpful to have your new name as soon as possible.

If I were you, I’d get engaged soon, have a long engagement, and have the wedding afterward. Since it sounds like you’ll be super busy for a few years, I’m guessing children won’t be in the picture anyway until after you graduate. 

Post # 4
Member
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

ooo that’s exciting! I think the question is, how would you feel about waiting a couple extra years? Would you be okay with that? If you think you can have the wedding of your dreams this fall, then do it, right? But, if you think that there isn’t enough time and it’d be rushed, then wait.

Post # 7
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow, many congratulations on the grad program! I face a similar situation myself. My mister is making to move to my state so we can be together (he’ll be here next week!) and we discussed our timeline for marriage. Our choices were getting married when I had hoped this September or wait until next year. If we did it this year, it would be on a much smaller scale and without much fanfare but we’d be married a lot sooner. Or we wait until next year and have the wedding he knows I want (he doesn’t care how we get married; just that we’re married). I went back and for a while but ultimately decided that we’re only getting married once and I really want to do it right, so we’re waiting until next year (though are thinking about moving it up until earlier in the year).

It was a hard decision, because I do really want to marry him, but honestly, I know I would feel cheated about not getting the kind of wedding I hoped we would have. He had to convince me that it was okay to want the wedding I envisioned. So really, I guess I just told you nothing. LOL. 

Weigh your options. If it’s important to marry him and you’ll both are happy with the wedding you’ll have, then absolutely go for it! Why wait? 

Please let us know what you decide to do. Good luck and congrats again!

Post # 8
Member
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@WestCoast:  Get married now. Do not plan a wedding in grad school. You will have more time now than you will in grad school and you have waited so long. If you are ready for that stage, I would do it sooner (and more rushed) than later.

Post # 11
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

@WestCoast:  Thanks for the words of confidence! I’m a little nervous about routine changes and the readjustment period but I know it’ll work itself out. I’m a creature of habit so the routine changes are going to be tough. But in the big scheme of things, I’d much rather have my routine shook up for this reason πŸ˜€ 

Looks like we’ll both be updating each other!

Post # 12
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

@WestCoast:  Thanks for the words of confidence! I’m a little nervous about routine changes and the readjustment period but I know it’ll work itself out. I’m a creature of habit so the routine changes are going to be tough. But in the big scheme of things, I’d much rather have my routine shook up for this reason πŸ˜€ 

Looks like we’ll both be updating each other!

Post # 14
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

@WestCoast:  that’s exactly us! So far the transition’s been fairly smooth. It does feel a bit like a visit but we’re about to start our 3rd week and will have officially been together for the longest time in our whole relationship. It’s weird but nice. There has been some major adjustbeing we’re both used to our independence, me especially, but I know he’ll feel more confident about the situation once he lands a job. 

We’ve also been talking more about our wedding and are working on some dates for next year.

that is so exciting! You know, if you guys do get married this fall, I know you’ll be so glad you did Even with everything happening. I’m so excited for you!

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