(Closed) How ready is your [younger] SO for marriage?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What is your SO's maturity level regarding his readiness for marriage?
    He is way too immature to think about or discuss marriage. : (2 votes)
    6 %
    He is too immature to discuss marriage seriously, but we talk about it playfully. : (1 votes)
    3 %
    He is mature enough to discuss marriage semi-seriously, although I'm not sure how ready he is. : (8 votes)
    24 %
    He discusses marriage seriously, and is mature enough but not quite ready to be married. : (9 votes)
    27 %
    He discusses marriage seriously, and is absolutely mature and ready to be married. : (13 votes)
    39 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    275 posts
    Helper bee

    We are both 25 and are definately ready to be married! We’ve been emotionally ready for at least a year but we were not financially ready. We had a serious talk and have been working on the finacial side!

    Post # 5
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Hubs and I started dating when I was 20, he was 21. We knew within a few months that this was it, but we had also known each other for a number of years before we started dating. He proposed when I was 23, got married when I was 25.

    When you know, you know!

    Post # 7
    Member
    275 posts
    Helper bee

    @Reign14: & @MrsSl82be: I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years. We’ve always talked about getting married, having kids, what our house would look like, future plans.. but before we made it official we both had things we wanted to accomplish. He wanted to buy a restaurant and I wanted to finidh school. If we had the resources to get married/move out sooner we would 🙂 I’m glad we’re on the same page and working towards the same things.

    @Reign14 Glad you and your SO are on the same page as well!

    Post # 8
    Member
    624 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Fi and I have the same age difference as you and in fact he proposed when we were your ages. He did not think he was ready for marriage, and I UNINTENTIONALLY pressured him to propose. Before than, we had talked about marriage but mostly talked about our future together.  The reason he didn’t feel ready for it was his job situation.  He had recently earned his BA and was struggling with one lousy temp job after another. 

    He wanted to be in a place where he could support me, I wanted to be a team and for us to support each other.  We were engaged 6 months before we started planning anything. With in that time, he was able to start a career. Of course he still wishes that he could be the sole provider, but he’s working towards it.  He’s a lot closer now that he realizes that he doesn’t have to do it alone.

    Post # 9
    Member
    72 posts
    Worker bee

    My cousin was engaged at 21 and married at 22.  I still think it was WAAAAY too young, but he is so mature that everything worked out fine and now he’s an amazing father at 26.  I think it all depends on the person.  It sounds like your SO knows what he wants and is mature enough to move forward with his timeline.  Congratulations!!  Don’t worry about what other people think is “normal.” 

    Post # 11
    Member
    5655 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    My Darling Husband was 19 and I was 23 when we got engaged and due to having to push back our date b/c of some planning issues we got married just after he turned 21 and I was 25 (almost 26)

    He was ready to get married to me before we even started dating. lol… (We were friends for 2 years before dating)

    He is one of the most mature men I know as far as fulfilling the role of husband AND father (since I already had a son) <3

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    24 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    My bf was 21 and I was 20 when we first started dating. We had been best friends for two years, and we knew pretty early on in our relationship that this was it.  Since we had been friends for so long, we knew what the other wanted out of life, our personalities, and things like that.  We’ll be engaged within the next couple of months or so, and I’m 21 and he just turned 23. We’re both pretty mature, and the majority of our friends have gotten married out of college (at 21). We’re waiting a year after graduation to get married. Some men are just ready and know what they want, even at a younger age.

    Post # 13
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    @runsyellowlites: That’s surprising he is that young! After reading about him, I thought he was at least your age or older. Glad to see some young men are mature beyond their years 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    1844 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

      There is a 2 year age difference between my Fiance and I (I’m 27, he’s 25). We both have our undergrad degrees. I will finish my master’s next year, and the following year, he will finish his PhD. We have been dating since we were 20 and 18. We started talking about marriage when he was 22 and I was 24, and a little more seriously about it a year later. He definitely had to accomplish some things. He wanted to be a little further along in his grad school program, we had to see how the long distance thing was going to work, and his brother ended up getting engaged and married (his brother is eight years older than him), so he wanted to wait until after he got married before he proposed (which, I admit, was a little frustrating, but I do understand where he’s coming from). We got engaged at 26 and 24 and will be married at 28 and 26.

      He is incredibly mature and grounded, always thinks things through. He isn’t one to do anything unless he is absolutely sure. I used to see myself getting married much younger…around 23 or 24, but this feels right :-).

    Post # 15
    Member
    5655 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @MrsSl82be: Thanks! My mom has told me occasionally how she forgets his age all the time. He really is pretty awesome and it’s really comforting that my parents have always felt confident in him being a great husband for me and father to my munchkin. Laughing

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