How rude??!!

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
532 posts
Busy bee

It might be frustrating but she asked and you declined. I’d only be annoyed if she keeps bringing it up.

Post # 3
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

slothbear :  I agree. It sounds like she’s dealing with unreasonable people on her end and this way she can say, “I asked, but unfortunately the numbers don’t work.”

Post # 4
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It’s annoying but I think you handled it really well. Did she let it go?

Post # 7
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s a little rude for her to suggest you invite them but you handled it well and it’s (hopefully) been taken care of. 

Post # 8
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

Forward, but not rude (yet). If she raises a stink after you clearly explained your position, then that would be rude. 

Post # 10
Member
2477 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Hopefully she stopped and accepted your answer.  If she has not make sure you stay firm on your NO! 

Post # 12
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee

Stay strong! It’s your wedding. You’re completely in the right and handled things very well. 

Post # 13
Member
661 posts
Busy bee

I guess I just work with entitled people on the regular, but I think if she’s determined to see it as ‘you will invite these people’, your response could be interpreted as ‘it will be hard, but the whole family will try to make it work’. 

I hope it doesn’t come to  that though, because your response was quite classy. Also, I liked the “the names don’t sound familiar” as a subtle reminder that you shouldn’t have strangers at your wedding. 

Post # 14
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

huisinjj :  I think the part that would have set me off is “they will be devastated if not invited!” Like get a grip…you haven’t even heard of these people. It’s also very manipulative of her to use that kind of language.

Still, sounds about par for the course in terms of the politics of negotiating a guest list with one’s parents! Hopefully this is the last you hear about it.

Post # 15
Member
1203 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Oh I got those kind of messages from my Mother-In-Law lol.  Although mine said “so and so is coming.  You haven’t met them yet.”  I don’t understand why people think they can just add people to someone else’s wedding 🤦🏻‍♀️

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