(Closed) How rude! Guests inviting themselves!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

Well in my opinion that is just plain rude

Post # 4
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would call them back and uninvite them all together.  If the extra people are that important to them, then they can enjoy the day alone with them.

Post # 5
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Extremely rude.

I’m in the situation where my FIs mother is insisting that FIs sister should get a plus one. She’s not married, engaged, long-term dating, or even in a casual fling. She is 100% single. We have a a limited budget, a small venue, and wanted to have an extremely small & intimate wedding…i.e. no randoms. We want to know every single person there. Also, we’re talking about a woman approaching 50 here, not a youngster.

I am sticking to my guns. I’ve already said that once we have rsvps back, if there are more “no”s than expected then we can see what we can do, but because they keep pushing it I’m inclined to just say no regardless. A middle-aged single woman who is related to a third of the guests can cope without a play-date for the day. I don’t mind people asking politely, but if you try to bully me into it then you are guaranteed to not get your way.

If people mess you around, just tell them straight. “No”. Give them your reasons calmly, then stick to your guns. It’s your wedding, not a huge free-for-all party.

Post # 6
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’d e mail them politely and say there is no room for extra guests to be added so for them to confirm whether or not the original invitees can come. It’s bang out of order.

Post # 7
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That’s very rude. Cross them out and send them back with the actual number on it! Well maybe not, but that’s what I’d feel like doing. She will need to contact them though and just explain that the reason for the set number is because of restrictions/budget or whatever and whilst it would be nice to have everyone there it just isn’t going to be possible.

Really can’t believe that, that’s terrible >:(

Post # 8
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

They are only guests if you welcome the additions.  Just my opinion.  We definitely had a few…I’m OK with FI’s high school friends new girlfriend.  Not worth the argument.  We had to draw the line at My mom’s cousin who decided to bring their two boys under 10.  Don’t think so!

Post # 9
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Your friend (or her FI) needs to call these RSVPS immediately and put a stop to it. 

Example: (borrowed from another bee) -“we’re so thrilled you’re all so excited, unfortunately we only are able to extend the invitation to you and your wife, as indicated on the invitation. If this means you are not able to make it, we understand and you will be missed”

OR “We’re so sorry-we have space and budget limitations and can’t accommodate guests’ dates.”  Then mention how much you look forward to seeing them at the wedding

Post # 11
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

It’s rude of them to invite extra guests even if they offer to pay. I’ve seen so many threads like this on WB and it’s just appalling to tell you the truth.

Post # 12
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Mars62312:  I know it’s just guests but the fact is they didn’t ask, they just sent the card back with the number crossed out and replaced. That seems very rude to me. If they had offered some sort of explanation or enquired then maybe it would be different but it doesn’t seem like this happened. Plus the OP said there is a limit on numbers, which is the case in many venues now. If it wasn’t then of course it would be different. If you have restricted numbers/budget then it does make a difference if people start adding extra people without warning or asking first.

Post # 13
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Very rude! In fact, I wouldn’t even be obliged to invite extra people even when they call to ask! You just don’t do that!

Post # 14
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Spoonie:  Right, so if there is a problem with the numbers, they need to speak up.  If they don’t, then they ARE guests.

Post # 15
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

wtf is wrong with people!!!!  If anyone tries that with my invites I will go crazy on their ass lol.  Have people never heard of manners!!!

Post # 16
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@star_dust:  Had one couple invite a work colleague to my engagement…talk about akward! All 3 of them didn’t even make an effort to socialise with anyone. 

I say be firm about it and give a reasonable excuse…you are paying for them after all!

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