Post # 1
Ok, maybe it’s me but I’ve been feeling some type of way about wedding guests lately. I am actually the Maid/Matron of Honor in another wedding. I’ve been helping out with the response cards. We clearly indicate that it is 2 people or 3 people invited. Some guests have been crossing it out and writing their own numbers! I’ve never seen this before in my life. Is it me or is this totally fine. Grant it, some called and asks and one offered to pay for the extra plate. My issue are the ones that didn’t ask. Weddings are expensive and its not like this venue can hold over 300 people. I think I’m a little ticked off because I didn’t send my invites yet and would hate for this to happen to me.
Post # 3
Well in my opinion that is just plain rude
Post # 4
I would call them back and uninvite them all together. If the extra people are that important to them, then they can enjoy the day alone with them.
Post # 5
I’m in the situation where my FIs mother is insisting that FIs sister should get a plus one. She’s not married, engaged, long-term dating, or even in a casual fling. She is 100% single. We have a a limited budget, a small venue, and wanted to have an extremely small & intimate wedding…i.e. no randoms. We want to know every single person there. Also, we’re talking about a woman approaching 50 here, not a youngster.
I am sticking to my guns. I’ve already said that once we have rsvps back, if there are more “no”s than expected then we can see what we can do, but because they keep pushing it I’m inclined to just say no regardless. A middle-aged single woman who is related to a third of the guests can cope without a play-date for the day. I don’t mind people asking politely, but if you try to bully me into it then you are guaranteed to not get your way.
If people mess you around, just tell them straight. “No”. Give them your reasons calmly, then stick to your guns. It’s your wedding, not a huge free-for-all party.
Post # 6
I’d e mail them politely and say there is no room for extra guests to be added so for them to confirm whether or not the original invitees can come. It’s bang out of order.
Post # 7
That’s very rude. Cross them out and send them back with the actual number on it! Well maybe not, but that’s what I’d feel like doing. She will need to contact them though and just explain that the reason for the set number is because of restrictions/budget or whatever and whilst it would be nice to have everyone there it just isn’t going to be possible.
Really can’t believe that, that’s terrible >:(
Post # 8
They are only guests if you welcome the additions. Just my opinion. We definitely had a few…I’m OK with FI’s high school friends new girlfriend. Not worth the argument. We had to draw the line at My mom’s cousin who decided to bring their two boys under 10. Don’t think so!
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Your friend (or her FI) needs to call these RSVPS immediately and put a stop to it.
Example: (borrowed from another bee) -“we’re so thrilled you’re all so excited, unfortunately we only are able to extend the invitation to you and your wife, as indicated on the invitation. If this means you are not able to make it, we understand and you will be missed”
OR “We’re so sorry-we have space and budget limitations and can’t accommodate guests’ dates.” Then mention how much you look forward to seeing them at the wedding
Post # 10
Hi ladies, we’ve tried to tell the bride that we need to put a stop to it. She said that she doesn’t want to be rude and tell people no. Imo, its not rude at all! Her wedding is in two months.
Post # 11
It’s rude of them to invite extra guests even if they offer to pay. I’ve seen so many threads like this on WB and it’s just appalling to tell you the truth.
Post # 12
@Mars62312: I know it’s just guests but the fact is they didn’t ask, they just sent the card back with the number crossed out and replaced. That seems very rude to me. If they had offered some sort of explanation or enquired then maybe it would be different but it doesn’t seem like this happened. Plus the OP said there is a limit on numbers, which is the case in many venues now. If it wasn’t then of course it would be different. If you have restricted numbers/budget then it does make a difference if people start adding extra people without warning or asking first.
Post # 13
Very rude! In fact, I wouldn’t even be obliged to invite extra people even when they call to ask! You just don’t do that!
Post # 14
@Spoonie: Right, so if there is a problem with the numbers, they need to speak up. If they don’t, then they ARE guests.
Post # 15
wtf is wrong with people!!!! If anyone tries that with my invites I will go crazy on their ass lol. Have people never heard of manners!!!
Post # 16
@star_dust: Had one couple invite a work colleague to my engagement…talk about akward! All 3 of them didn’t even make an effort to socialise with anyone.
I say be firm about it and give a reasonable excuse…you are paying for them after all!