(Closed) How rude is it if we don’t go?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2050 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Since, from the start, you consider them acquaintances vs. friends or close friends, I don’t think it would be rude for you not to go, nor do I think it rude that you’ve been invited so late in the game. I do think it was rude that they told you why you were being invited now, and I do think it would be rude if you and Fiance just didn’t show up without calling first (I know, they asked you and Fiance without a formal invitation, but you could call and show a courtesy whether they’ve extended one to you or not.)

If you go to the wedding, treat it as an opportunity to take notes for your own. 😉 Enjoy the meal, dance, wish them well, and leave.

Post # 4
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Before I got married, I might have had a different perspective on this. But having had 15 no shows on the day of myself, it was kind of disappointing. I do think their method of inviting you was pretty tacky itself, but since you said you’d go, you may as well go. What’s the worst that will happen? Grab a card, go eat and enjoy yourself!

Post # 5
5887 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

you say you are aquaintances, and they were honest about everything up front, so i don’t necessarily think you should be upset with them.  however, it also sounds like you don’t want to go, so there’s no harm in not going, as long as you of course let them know.

Post # 6
2699 posts
Sugar bee

I would go and enjoy yourselves. I think the way they invited you was very rude and says a lot about them but why not partake in the party?

Post # 8
9048 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have to say, we had nine last minute cancellations by people that our parents made us invite.  We definitely thought about contacting some newer friends/coworkers that hadn’t made the cut originally that we thought would be fun to have come hang out with us for free dinner/drinks that we’d already paid for.  We didn’t actually do it, and now we’re closer with some of those people, and I kind of wish we had!

Post # 9
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would go just as an excuse to get dressed up and like PP said, to take notes for your own wedding. Enjoy free food and beverages and dance the night away with your FH.

It’s terrible how they invited you or why they even thought it would be OK to tell you why you were invited — don’t mind the tackiness and go and have a good time, IF YOU WANT TO. If you don’t want to go, then don’t:)

good Luck:)

Post # 10
2246 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d probably go, just to scope out the decor.  But, I would not be chipping in to buy a fancy gift, or anything.  It was really rude how they did you.  She could have invited you to her bachelorette or something.  It’s like you’re not good enough to keep them company, but good enough to buy them a gift??

Post # 11
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Go for the free food and drinks and pick up a $.99 card!

Post # 12
46 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

I hope you went, i agree with xshellx2003 and everyone else….

Way they told you? Tacky as hell

Free dinner, booze and dancing? Why not! If you’re not married already, you may pick up some ideas or spot somethings you make sure to avoid, it sounds like you’ll have some mutual buddies there too. You don’t have to really associate with the couple, they’ll be too busy anyway!

Post # 13
141 posts
Blushing bee

I’m late but I would have said don’t go. Hope you didn’t .

Post # 15
2050 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@Alexis22: Nice that your Fiance had the groom’s number and texted him and kind of you to plan to give a card and gift. That’s great that you two had a cozy night together!

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