Thanks bees for sharing all your honest thoughts!
My stance is, til death part us.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. No judgement please, but here’s why:
To be clear, to me when I say for better or for worse and til death that means yes that includes ALL the worst, staying through infidelity, staying through abuse, staying through whatever worse could possibly come our way.
To clarify, my SO is the best person I have ever met, ever! None of these “worst” things are an issue for us, nor do I ever forsee them being an issue.
I can only imagine how hard it must be and would be to stay through “the worst” in whatever shape that may take, but that’s how seriously I take the vows, and I would do whatever counseling or whatever else it would take to make the marriage work because I made that commitment and I say this as a waiting bee…meaning I have never been married so I have not had any experience putting any of this into practice.
And I keep hearing people say marriage is a lot of work!
I do realize it takes two to make a marriage work and I can imagine how much it would suck if my stance is til death parts us and my husband take advantage of that to do whatever he pleases based on the stance that I would never leave him. But it remains my stance because its just what I believe. FYI, I am by no means saying that anyone who disagrees does not take their vows seriously, to each his own, im just stating my stance.
My SO and I have talked about this and at the time of discussion we both agreed infidelity in marriage is our dealbreaker. He said we would never look at each other the same and I agree.
But recently as I started thinking more about spending my life with him, and about my general views of marriage my thoughts have shifted towards Til Death.
I finally get what trust means now. In the sense that you have to really trust the person to take good care of you for life. So that you are comfortable enough saying for better or for worse, because you would be pretty confident knowing that the worse would possibly be something external like financial hardship due to the economy versus something self inflicted like his decision to cheat or be abusive.
I really feel that marriage is a huge lifelong committment that like life can have its unexpected trials and tribulations, but regardless the point of it is til death or at least it should be.
Sorry for the ramblings if any…but that’s my stance.