(Closed) How Seriously Do You Take Your Vows?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How Seriously Do You Take Your Vows?
    I will stay married until death, no matter what. : (72 votes)
    23 %
    I would leave immediately for incompatibility/betrayals/infidelity. : (41 votes)
    13 %
    I would try to work it out if we had issues, but leave if I wasn't satisfied. : (117 votes)
    38 %
    It depends on the situation/I'm not sure. : (79 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5107 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Very interesting board! I love my husband so much and would never leave him for anything small. It would have to be serious, like cheating or abuse… I would be out though if that happened.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1855 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Hmm…

    Well I’ve never been married before, and I’m still engaged. But I’m a big believer of “it takes 2 people to end a marriage.” Obviously that excludes affairs (most at least) and abuse. Abuse is just inexcusible.

    So I know I’ll go into married life putting as much possible effort into the relationship as possible. That’s what I do now, and vice versa- and Fiance and I are perfect at the moment.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1024 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I guess for better or for worse for me is illness, difficulties, poverty etc. Not something like abuse. I don’t think its that I view the vows as ‘less serious’ but that they mean something different to me. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    301 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I said “I will stay married until death, no matter what”, but that’s not entirely true. It was just the truest of the options given. I would ONLY leave our marriage for one of these three things:

    1. Abuse of our {future} children. I’d be gone in a heartbeat.

    2. Abusing me. I’d probably want to make an effort to fix the problem first, though.

    3. Infidelity if he wasn’t repentant/didn’t stop.

    Aside from those three things, it’s ’till death do us part!

    Post # 8
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Abuse and cheating would be first offense “I’m out” territory.

    If we ever fell out of love, I’d want us to go to counseling, work on rekindling our affection every day, do what it takes. But I would not spend my life in a marriage where I wasn’t happy. Some things cannot be fixed, and while I don’t like to think about it, I know life is too short to do it out of principle.

    Post # 9
    Member
    693 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Personally, I believe in my wedding vows. They’re a promise to my partner. It would have to be something extremely drastic to get me to leave and even think about divorce. Cheating? Wouldn’t be enough. There could be many reasons to slip once. Cheating more than once? Then I would leave. Getting someone pregnant? I’d leave. Having another family hiding somewhere? Definitely leaving. Stealing, hiding a secret life, killing someone- yeah good reasons to leave.

    I was raised to be a firm believer that you did whatever it took on your part to make your marriage work if you truly loved them, wanted a life with them and wanted to be there for them- as friends, partners, significant others and lovers. If they didn’t want to work on it, if they gave up on you, then obviously they didn’t want to be there to begin with, only then do you walk away. Simple enough.

    Post # 10
    Member
    366 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I chose till death do us part, no matter what, because A) this is a 2nd marriage for me, I’m 42 and I wouldnt be doing this if I wasnt 100% sure it was going to be forever and B) Fiance is the kindest man on the planet, so abuse is never an issue (but it is why I left the 1st marriage so I wont tolerate it, it just isnt an issue here and never will be).

    Post # 11
    Member
    5400 posts
    Bee Keeper

    For me, infidelity and abuse would cause me to leave. But, “for better or for worse” means to me almost the same as “in sickness and in health” because I have serious health issues. So, the worst thing I have ever dealt with is definitely illness, and I don’t think that’s ever any reason to leave.

     

    ETA: The day infidelity or abuse was an issue in my relationship would be the day hell freezes over I think. I can in no way ever see it happening.

    Post # 12
    Member
    693 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    @Rrabbetsgirl:  Amen babe, amen. Sounds like the two of us have a lot in common. I 100% agree with you.

    Post # 13
    Member
    914 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I chose it depends on the situation. But I cannot think of one that would come up that we would end things over. We’ve been together 7 years and have 2 kids. He’s not going to suddenly become abusive. And we’ve discussed infedelity and both agree it’s a pretty scumbag thing to do. If either of us was that unhappy that we wanted to cheat, we’d have a serious conversation first.

    At least I hope so anyways. We did do a year of couples counseling, so I think we have pretty good communication skills now.

    Post # 14
    Member
    9053 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I take them fairly seriously, but if my husband ever hit me, cheated or put our future children in serious danger I’d be gone. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I don’t think anyone can really say for 100% “Yes, if my husband was beating me and emotionally tormenting me and sleeping with other women and stopped coming home I’d stay in the marriage.” You just have no way of knowing that.

    The topic ‘How Seriously Do You Take Your Vows?’ is closed to new replies.

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