(Closed) How should I approach my gyno appt with bf?

posted 9 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 16
1058 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

would your gyno let him in…. personally, I hate going to the gyno and there are other men there. Girls bringing there boyfriends… we all look uncomfortable, they look uncomfortable… its horrible.

I never saw the nurse let one of the men in the back. If I were married to him and we were pregnant… to come check on me and the baby or look at ultra sounds I would invite my hubby other than that I don’t think the gyno office is a place for…. well…… men.

You should take someone (female) who can help answer your questions and be there with you…. take a best friend…. not him. He should see his doctor about his issue, but if you just got to have him there I would call ahead because the doctors office may not let him back there…. so, he won’t have to be in the waiting room all uncomfortable.

Post # 17
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would either go to the gyn alone, or take another female that you’re comfortable with. I just know myself, and having him there might be distracting or even just plain intimidating, for him and for you. However, if you want him there, and he is comfortable with it, then by all means choose what is right for you!

Echoing the pp’s, lot of people have latex and lube allergies. Sometimes certain brands or flavors of lube can really be irritating. 

I’m not sure what you’re experience is, but making sure you’re getting time to be mentally and physically prepared for what’s happening. Some people need physical foreplay, others need to make sure they are in the mood mentally, either by looking at porn or by talking about something you find exciting, etc. The brain is the most important sex organ after all!

Post # 18
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Try even a different brand of condoms. Through trial and error, I found out that Durex irritates the heck out of my skin with symptoms very similar to yours, but any variety of Trojan is just fine.  Putting the condom on the vibrator and seeing if it irritates you is a great idea- if it irritates you, you know it’s the condom, not the actual act.

And don’t bring him with you.  It’s sweet that he wants to be supportive, but men in the gyno’s waiting room is just creepy and weird unless they’re obviously there with a pregnant girlfriend/wife. 

Post # 19
1132 posts
Bumble bee

After reading all of the posts… ^^ ditto what they said. I’m sorry you are having so many problems :- I was getting UTI’s alotttttt for a few months a while back and boy did that shit hurt. I was consuming cranberry juice like it was crack to help with the pain. Poor thing..

Post # 20
6414 posts
Bee Keeper

First, I don’t understand why everyone thinks it’s so weird to have your partner come in with you for a gynae appointment? My OH has come with me a couple of time (when I had biopsies and when I had a Mirena fitted) and I was more comfortable with him there. So, do what makes you comfortable and don’t listen to anyone else.

Second, lots of things can cause painful intercourse; ED would not be one of them. The most common causes are infection (and you don’t need to have been sexually active previously to have an infection; not all infections are sexually transmitted), allergy (to latex, lubricant, spermicide, or semen), or simply nerves/anxiety. The fact that you have been fine using the dilators suggests to me it’s one of the last two, and my guess would be it’s down to anxiety, though I might be wrong.

Either way, your doctor should be able to advise you. If it’s an allergy, then switching to a non-latex condom, or switching lubricant, might help. If it’s anxiety, then this tends to be harder to deal with, and takes time and patience. Usually, the suggestion is to build up slowly, and to completely forget about penetrative sex for a while, and to work on enjoying each other in different ways eg massage and foreplay, and then very gradually build up to penetrative sex.

Post # 21
4602 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

When I’ve changed sexual partners I’ve had problems.  I went to my doctor about it and they said it sometimes happens when one gets used to a new partner.

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