Post # 1
I am planning on asking my future sister in laws (my fiancee has 2 sisters) to be in the wedding party. I really would like to ask one anyways, as we are pretty close (we are going dress shopping together this week, so I might mention it to her then?). I’m not as close to the other sister, but I feel like i can’t leave her out (we have known each other for 5+ years…as long as I’ve been with my fiancee). How do you think I should ask them?! I am so awkward. Do I have to do it in person? I’m mostly worried about asking the one that I’m not very close with since I don’t see her often and don’t talk on the phone/text/email her ever. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!!!
FYI- i am having 4 other BMs…my two best friends and my two sisters- all of whom have always known would be in the wedding…so that was easy.
Post # 3
First of all, your wedding is still REALLY far away, and I would wait until next fall to officially select any wedding party members. (People change, relationships change, and unfortunately weddings tend to bring out the worst in people!)
That said, only ask them if you feel like you are close enough to them to have them in your wedding party, or even if you feel like it would cause tension to NOT ask them. I did as my SIL, but we are friends, her mom would flip out if she were excluded, and he only has one sister so it was no big deal to add one more person.
Also, know that you don’t have to have even sides. Don’t ask his sisters to make things even, because they are people, no props. Not sure if that even came up but so many people think there HAVE to be the same number on each side.
Post # 4
I got a cute card off of Etsy and gave it to her in person. It took some of the awkwardness out and she loved it!
Post # 5
@DaneLady: +1!!! I didn’t notice the wedding date until after I posted. I would not ask anyone to be in your wedding until about a year out (maybe 14 months if you’re really antsy and know you won’t “fire” any of them). I also wouldn’t go dress shopping until you’re a year out as well. Just look up “dress regret” on here and you’ll see why!!
Post # 6
oops! I had the wrong wedding date originally…I just updated 🙂
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
I would include both FSILs…I included mine and just asked her over the phone (FI’s family lives several states away from us).
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Just call them up and ask. It really doesn’t need to be complicated.