(Closed) How should I ask my best friend to take pictures at our wedding??

posted 6 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think it would be ok. The only thing I would keep in mind is that you don’t want her to be running around all night taking photos and not enjoying herself. A good friend of mine offered to take some photos as we aren’t having a professional (she has a fancy camera too). I said ok but I don’t want her busy all night.

As long as you make sure your friend is balacing taking photos with having a good time I don’t see the problem.

Post # 4
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2006

Absolutely not.  If they offer to, that’s one thing.  But they need to make that offer on their own.

Taking photos of someone’s wedding no matter how informal is a HUGE responsibility.  A photographer is going to feel responsible for anything that might go wrong, and it can definitely strain a friendship if they are not experienced in wedding photography.  Even the best portrait photographer can get over their heads when it comes to weddings.

I take wedding photography more seriously than most, and we made the mistake of letting a close friend and amateur photographer take photos at our wedding and regret our decision immensely.  Been there and done that.

Post # 5
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

If she is your best friend, I am sure she would be happy to do it. Just tell her you love her work and you would be really excited if she would do this for you. Offer for her to use some of your pics in her portfolio and if she wont except any money, get her a gift of some sort.

Post # 6
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would ask her, and after all is said and done buy her something nice as a thank you.

Post # 7
Member
13012 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No.  You want your friend there to observe the ceremony ad enjoy herself, not to work for you.  Plus, there are a ton of friendor drama stories, so I wouldn’t willingly put myself in that situation.

Post # 8
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

You know her better than us.  Do you think she would be honored? or prefer to attend simply as a guest?

In my opinion your “best friend” might be honored to do this for you and your FH. She may see it as a way to give the service of photography as a gift to you guys for your nuptials and be excited to be asked.  If that is the case, like PP said it’s a good idea to get her something really nice OR pay her, whichever you think she will accept and appreciate more….but I see nothing wrong at all with asking her.  She’s your best friend, there really should be no harm in asking and if she prefers not to, im sure she will let you know.

Post # 9
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I wouldn’t ask, as some other bees have said, if she offers let her but don’t ask. I used to work in a portait studio and some close friends asked me to photograph their wedding, I said yes but regretted it. I wasn’t able to enjoy their wedding and I was really stressed out because I didn’t want to dissapoint them with the photos. Two other friends asked me to do theirs, and after my first experience I declined. I just wanted to be able to enjoy everyone’s wedding!

Post # 10
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would not ask her.  If my best friend was getting married, I would want to be there to celebrate with her- not work a stressful event.  Even if you’re only expecting a few couples pictures, that is a lot of stress and responsiblity (not to mention equipment to bring!) on a day she probably just wants to celebrate with you.

Post # 11
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If photography is a hobby of hers, maybe she knows of an inexpensive photographer you could use.

My best friend asked me to take her wedding photos because they couldn’t afford a photographer and I deeply regret saying yes. The photos turned out fine, but I didn’t enjoy myself at all. I missed hearing her say her vows, I missed the speeches, the first dance, etc. I got it all on camera, but I was so focussed on taking pictures and I didn’t get to share her day with her.

But, you know her best. She might be extremely flattered you asked!

 

Post # 12
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have a best friend who has a major in photography.  People convinced me NOT to do this.

#1 my friend doesn’t do people, she does macro and landscapes. 

#2 my friend doesn’t edit her photos – I’d want edited photos, not something that looks like it came off my point and shoot camera

#3 said friend would probably want to enjoy the wedding and dinner

#4 only accept if friend offered – it might be too much pressure if you asked her yourself.

 

I think you can still get a good photographer for 1-2 hours.  We eloped and hired someone for 3 hours.  3 was plenty!

Post # 13
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wouldn’t ask. She should be enjoying as a guest. It’s a special day. And as other PPs have noted, photography is a huge responsibility. Find someone on Craigslist or someone that needs to build their portfolio. It shouldn’t cost too much. Sometimes low budget weddings mean you have to sacrifice certain things…but not at the expense of close friends.

Post # 14
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

There have been so many posts on the Bee about “Friendors Gone Wrong,” that I would advise against this.  Hire someone inexpensive, and you can ask your friend if she’ll could take *some* photos as well that day (she probably would plan to, anyway), or for a specific part of the day, like getting ready (one of my MOHs took the hair/makeup pics in the salon).

Post # 15
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I had this issue! My best friend is a photographer and is amazingly talented. But I wanted her to be a guest more than a vendor. So I decided against it. I just didn’t want to put the pressure on her, even if I was paying her full price. I did, however, ask her for recommendations and to help me decide on my finalists. 

Post # 16
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Are you having the wedding on a weekday?  Some photographers have few gigs on weekdays (everyone gets married on a weekend), so I got a great rate for a Tuesday! 

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