(Closed) how should I bring this up to my dad?

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 78
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010


1. Parents surprised us with paying the reception. We were not told up front, nor did we ask, nor would we have asked for more. It was our wedding gift. They did not give us anything else.

2. Yes, had I been aware, I probably would have gotten a slightly more expensive (but certainly not over $1000) dress because there was another I liked that was a bit more. The one I got was perfectly fine.

Fails to understand how this is the same as blatantly asking ones parents for more money.

Fireslayer – I really don’t care what you think of me nor do I care if someone’s families contribute. But IMO, adults in 2010 should set out to be paying for their own stuff and if someone helps, fine. But the OP set off this post asking how she should ask her dad for more money and quite frankly, I find that kind of attitude towards weddings pretty annoying. I know quite a few people whose parents went into debt to pay for their weddings and it’s just sad. I don’t care if it’s tradition – most traditions are outdated and based on a time when women didn’t work etc. I also refused to let my dad “give me away” because that phrase makes my stomach turn. I take a great deal of pride in paying my own way through life. Doesn’t mean I’m going to turn down a gift, but I’m certainly not going to ask for a bigger gift.

Post # 79
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

One of my pet peeves is when people tell others that what they are spending is ridiculous and list their budgets, which include multiple friends giving away services for free.

There are tons of people who A) don’t have friends who are even semi professional photographers/DJ’s/other vendors or B) don’t want to ask their friends to work during the wedding and would rather just have friends there enjoying themselves. There are also tons of people who don’t have free access to professional quality speakers and audio equipment to use, or free access to lakefront homes with acreage to hold receptions, or access to commerical kitchens to prep food in. If you do – fabulous, but it’s unfair to put your budget up as something everyone can replicate.

@CherryCoke –  I personally don’t think you should ask your dad for more money than he has offered, but only you know your relationship with him. I think with 3 little kids at home, I would be uncomfortable asking for more money for a wedding. (We also paid for our wedding ourselves, so that skews my opinion too). I think what might be helpful to you is to prioritize items, and pick 2-3 things that are the most important to you.

Also, there are lots of ways to cut costs – if you want flowers in your centerpieces – look at what will be locally in season when you get married as that would be cheaper than flying in tons of out of season flowers. Check out craigslist and freecycle, and also your local Goodwill for vases – there are always a TON of nice glass votive holders and vases at my local Goodwill for like $1 each or less. For hair/makeup, look around and see if you can pick up some gift certificates to salons at a discount (or maybe ask for certificates as xmas or bday gifts) which would cover the hair costs. Another idea is that many places are hiring now for seasonal workers – if you or your FH could pick up an additional part time job, I bet you could easily and quickly make up the difference. Good luck!

Post # 80
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@RubyLove: Ahahahah….sooo funny!  It’s funny how past posts can come back to haunt some bees……   Honestly people are so self-righteous on here.

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