(Closed) How should I deal with dress regret nearly a year after my wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Get the dress you love and have a TTD session or photo shoot with your hubby for an aneversary or something.

Post # 4
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Are you, like me, still looking at wedding blogs and dress posts on here?

You need to stop!

I was still obsessed with looking at sites like stylemepretty, etc and seeing all those gorgeous weddings/brides/dresses made me really sad about my own small, budget wedding.

The less I looked at those blogs after the fact, the less I cared about all the details and really began focusing on how I *felt* that day. It really was the most special day I’ve ever experienced.  Married my man, felt love from friends and family, etc.

I do understand what it’s like to feel disappointed though so if you really can’t shake it…then maybe do a 1 year anniversary shoot with a new dress like @Atalanta suggested.

Post # 5
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you should remind yourself that your wedding was one day out of your whole life, and that you have way, way more interesting and important challenges ahead of you to be focusing on a piece of clothing you wore in the past.

If you reallllllllly need to get it out of your system, do the trash the dress shoot mentioned above.

Post # 7
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: March 2010

@loobylou2905: I am so glad someone feels like I do! We had an absolute dream wedding (which my parents were beyond generous in giving us), and when I look back at pictures and wish I would have gotten an empire waist dress. My family all said they loved it but I think I knew deep down that I should have spoken up and shopped more. We could not have had a more perfect, fun, dreamlike wedding and I am so happy to be married to the love of my life and feel SO lucky. I feel so silly that I can’t get past this and focus on what’s so clearly wayyy more important things.

Post # 8
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I feel exactly the same way.

Nearly a year after my wedding I still feel pain about regrets I had with my dress and my hair.  It has been helping me to talk about it and admit to myself this is an issue I cant just repress by telling myself it is silly and I should be grateful for my husband, etc etc.  YES THERE IS A LOT TO BE GRATEFUL FOR.  But no one can judge me for the pain I feel.  We just have to admit it and work through it by talking it out as much as possible.

And yes, there may be some solution in the future where I do a photoshoot with my husband and my dream dress…:)

Post # 9
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I dont mean to sound harsh, but maybe you should stop looking at wedding dresses and wedding forums if they conjure up so much pain. 

I get having a bit of dress regret, passng thought kind of thing, 

but if you ” need advice on how to get closure on this, and move on with just the happy memories of our special day.” then I recomend Facebook not Weddingbee.

Post # 10
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Remember that dress online and on the models could look totally different on you and your body. 

Post # 11
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

as someone above pointed out, why dont you buy a chinese knock off and do a trash the dress session.  it could still go in your wedding album too. 

Post # 12
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you should have another special photo session with your dress with a top notch photographer that will do justice to you and your dress since that wasn’t achieved with your prior photographer. Something ala boudoir or something extra special romantic, as an anniversary gift to your husband and a special “feel good” gift for you.

Post # 13
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You could have a vow renewal with your husband in a couple of years and find a new dress that you love for it. I picture a beach paradise kind of location with just the two of you or even a few of your closest family and friends (if you didn’t want to have a huge wedding #2 so soon). A mermaid would be fitting for a tropical renewal of vows I think. And maybe hire a great photographer to capture those moments.  

If you don’t want to do this, you could also go to a super fancy ball/ party (like a charity ball) and wear a mermaid style gown in one of your favourite colors. Get lots of pictures.

Just a thought though, I don’t know what dress you ended up going with but mermaids are really popular right now and therefore will be very indicitive of this time period. In a few years you may look back at your pictures and be glad you didn’t end up with a mermaid. (Don’t get me wrong, I love mermaids. If I had the right curves for one, I’d get one but I don’t. haha)

Finally, like PPs have said, definitely stop looking at wedding blogs and boards. I think I need to stop even though I haven’t gotten married yet. I was fine with my dress until I started browsing too much on the bee and found that my style of dress is one that is popularly disliked. If I hadn’t read so many dress posts I probably would’ve been fine but now I have dress regret too. Hopefully I’ll get over it by the time the wedding comes. I think the only chance for me to do this is to stop looking at and reading about dresses. sigh

 

Post # 14
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I have this issue to a degree.  And it’s not due to looking at wedding sites and hanging out around here.  The regret is for ONE dress in particular that I was very close to purchasing, then I switched gears for something MUCH cheaper that I really liked, vs. the one I had my heart set on.  I regret being a bit of a tightwad on this dress issue.  Yes, the dress I wore was pretty freaking awesome, and gorgeous, and I got a ton of compliments.  It’s just that the other dress was more ME. 

There are certain elements of that first dress that I just never found in any other, and I think that maybe I will try and have a more casual version of the dress made, something I can wear to a special occasion, to get it out of my system.

 

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