(Closed) How should I deal with this? I know it’s long, but I need your opinion, please.

posted 7 years ago in Food
  • poll: Should I stay or go?
    Go. Run. Now. You won't be able to find another caterer if you wait any longer. : (8 votes)
    25 %
    Stay. And take a chill pill while you are at it. : (12 votes)
    38 %
    It depends - see what they come up with this week, then decide. : (11 votes)
    34 %
    Other (I will explain below) : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I agree I would be upset but I don’t know if switching caterers at this point would really accomplish much. 

    If they really are as reputible as you say, then you shouldn’t worry.  Some people work less on paper than others.  Maybe they aren’t concerned about contracts and details of menus right now.  Not to say you shouldn’t be but I’m not sure I would go as far as to go to a new caterer. 

    Why are you so worried about the contract and the menu selection?  Is it holding up any of your wedding planning? 

    Post # 5
    Member
    3125 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    no, i get you. I find it a little silly that they can’t at least throw a contract together. they’re like madlibs – fill in your information and boom, done. that’s all you’re asking for. I might ask around a bit and see about your FI’s favorite, but if they’re booked? I think it’s better to stick with what you have, but be SURE they do what they need to do.

    Post # 6
    Member
    455 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I’d be freaking out because it sounds to me like you have no contract and I’m a type A you better have civil liability if you screw me over type person.

    I would think if they’re reputable it’s fine? 

    Post # 7
    Member
    131 posts
    Blushing bee

    I personally think that the fact that the caterer does not handle weddings that are more than 30 days out is crazy.  A lot of people put menu items on invitations, so I would expect the have the tasting months in advance, and also atl east decide the main courses way in advance?  I understand that you may not be put options on the invitations, but I am sure that the caterer has other brides that do, so what would they do in that case?

    I would call your #2 choice and see if they are still available.  You are spending a lot of money and should have stellar service.  Unreturned call and empty promises are not acceptable when you are spending as much money as you are on the caterer alone.  This is not a bridezilla thing, I would expect this whenever I hire a caterer – wedding, party, work event, etc. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1980 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I’d cancel. It wouldn’t be worth it to me to worry about it until the wedding. I would rather have a caterer who respects my need for things “nailed down” than go by 5 star reviews that other people have written. They may be telling the truth, they may be fantastic at what they do, but I am VERY type A and very organized and I need something in writing when I book a vendor! I am dealing with this issue with a moving company right now. They said they are avaliable on my date to move me and “I have their word”.

    Um. Not good enough. I want an email or contract, STAT. I’m about to move onto another mover, because although this moving company has great reviews, it’s not worth worrying over for a month.

    Post # 9
    Member
    612 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    So far I have dealt with three caterers (one I lost a deposit too and the other two were potentials. I ended up going with my brother in law’s resteraunt instead). They are ALL flaky and the one I paid money to wouldn’t even call me back for three weeks. She said the same thing, she only works on the menu 30-days out. I forced her to send me a quote and she sent one 3x the price she verbally quoted me, so I finally dropped her (yay!)

    If they have rave reviews, just stick with them. Nothing is better than word of mouth. I wish I would have read reviews before losing $500, but what can you do. 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    13101 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We’re entering the peak of wedding season.  If your caterer is as good as you say he is, I’m sure they’re up to their ears in bookings.  It’s understandable that they have to prioritize the weddings that are happening NOW.

    I also understand how that is frustrating you – I’m very type A and like to have things all planned, organized, etc.  I think that since you’ve gotten so many wonderful reviews about them and the food is really important to you, you should stick with them and trust that they are going to do a great job, even if it isn’t on the timeline you’d prefer.

    Post # 11
    Member
    7175 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    If you are confident with caterer’s reputation, then I would let it go.  It really all depends on how confident you are in their reputation vs. what the end product will end up with.  Sometimes rave reviews make me a little leery (like they are fake).  Have you talked to anyone who actually used them?

    I have a feeling that it’s typical for caterers to not get locked into specifics on contracts because of seasonal items or changes they wish to make.  That’s not to say that caterer’s are unable to do this – but I think I understand why.  

    It does sound like they are trying to appease you, by the partner contacting you, etc – so, it’s not like they are MIA.

    I think it would be worth calling back the partner to discuss your concerns.  Perhaps the partner is the more ‘detailed’ one and the main caterer is the genius behind the food.

    Is the caterer that FI wanted to go with still available?  Even so, there’s no guarantee you’d get a better response from them – but, I’d say it’s worth a phone call to see if they are available and see how they go about working with clients (if even only for a comparison).

    All that to say – I TOTALLY understand why you want everything on paper – it takes the guess work and the room for communication misunderstandings out of the way.  Again – I think you’ll be fine (if you can be without the detailed menu until the last 2 weeks of the wedding).  Although, now that I type this – we really wanted to put our menu options on our RSVP card – so I’d be flipping out on our caterer for responsiveness issues.

    See what the partner says tonight… and keep us posted.

    Post # 12
    Member
    27 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I don’t think you’re wrong to feel this way at all. If you ask me, your caterer’s being unprofessional. You’re a paying customer, and all you’re asking for is some hard copies of confirmation! How hard is it to drum up a contract and a menu? I understand they have other brides to take care of, but the way they’re treating you is disappointing. However, I think because you’re running out of time, you’re going to have to stick with what you’ve got. Maybe try contacting the other caterer your FI liked so much and asking what they could do, but it sounds like you’re kind of stuck with what you’ve got, being that the wedding is only 80 days away and you’re far away from your actual reception site. I would continue to try to communicate with anyone and everyone at your caterer’s office until you get what you need. Good luck to you! Please let us know what happens.

    Post # 13
    Member
    516 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I would definitely be annoyed and worried. I really don’t know how much luck you will have finding another caterer. If you are happy with everything beside what they are putting you through (waiting) then I think you should stick it out. I think a lot of caterers wait until the month of the wedding to plan things. I would relax and go with the flow, or just find a new caterer NOW.

    Post # 14
    Member
    176 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    No no no.  A caterer, and similar businesses, most likely have template contracts that they can easily whip up.  These template contracts might include vague language like “Caterer agrees to provide Client with specific menu as agreed to in writing by the parties following execution of this agreement”, etc …. but they can still confirm the date, their ability and willingness to provide catering services, possibly confirm their service/hourly prices (not necessarily food costs), state that they will begin working with you on your specific menu a month in advance of your wedding date, confirm that they have liability insurance, state their % for deposits, etc….

    To not even get a contract is concerning.  If they have been in business for so long, you’d think they would have a pretty standard contract form. 

    I understand the specialization of the menu waiting until a month prior UNLESS they are expecting you to provide them with a seating chart / RSVP list of specific dishes (for a plated dinner).  A month wouldn’t give you enough time to properly send out invitations requesting guests to notify you of their choice of entree.

    I’d toss these people aside and find another caterer.  You are not being unreasonable at all.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1079 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    The rule is get everything on paper. Make sure you have a signed contract with a price asap. Do not trust a verbal commitment. I’ve heard of too many disasters where it sounded great, but wasn’t in writing so didn’t happen that way. If/when you post reviews make sure you include this information. I would want to know about their timeline before hiring this caterer. Our price and menu were finalized 7 months out and we had a contract signed. I would have considered any less to be unacceptable and unprofessional. After all, I want certain things on the menu – what if they decided the month before they didn’t serve those things.

    In the end I am glad you are happy and truly hope the caterer lives up to the glowing reviews.

    The topic ‘How should I deal with this? I know it’s long, but I need your opinion, please.’ is closed to new replies.

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