- 2 years ago
- Wedding: October 2019
SO and I have been together for over 2 years. Yesterday we celebrated our third Valentine’s day.
We looked at rings over a year ago for size and to see what I like and I know he has been saving up money to purchase the ring he chose.
Last week, we went to the mall and he said he had to go do sneaky things while I did some business at the bank in the mall.
We leave the mall and he says they won’t let me pay for it yet because it’s not in yet. Ok, sure, that’s not his fault obviously.
I haven’t been sleeping well b/c I go to school two nights a week until 9 pm, I have AA on Monday nights (in recovery 8 months), group counseling on Wednesdays, and individual counseling every other week. I am really at my breaking point with going through recovery, keeping a full time job, studying, and proper nutrition and weight training (I am studying for my nasm).
For me, sex is the last thing on my mind at 9:30-10 o clock at night when I have to get up in the morning and repeat.
So in addition to not being proposed to last night, this morning the first text I get is “No Valentine’s Day sex :(“
I lost it.
I wanted to say “Valentine’s Day and no proposal” but I didn’t.
I was so angry he said he just wanted to make sure I know how he feels and that he is understanding.
I’m not debating that and I’m glad he wants to talk.
I am asking my primary if I can switch meds because I don’t get my period (just really bad dibilitating PMS) and I have zero sex drive. I honestly don’t think it’s the pill, but maybe it is (?), but rather depression/BPD (?)/I don’t know/deeper issues.
I really don’t know what else to do. I feel like breaking down and sobbing because I feel like I’m going to lose him.
I honestly just don’t know what else I can do here, I’m going to counseling, I’m not drinking, I’m going to school and holding down a full time job.
Does anyone have any advice on supplements, excercises I can do, anything like that that will help?
I feel like giving up.
Thanks for the positive advice anyone might have!