(Closed) How should I handle my adult only reception dilemma?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
  • poll: How should I handle my adult only reception dilemma?
    Impose an 18+ age limit (which means inviting 2 of 5 kids in the same family) : (19 votes)
    70 %
    Invite all 5 kids in that family, FI's 2 second cousins, & all other children in that age range : (2 votes)
    7 %
    Other suggestion (see comments) : (6 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    369 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I am also struggling with this dilemma, maybe lower the age range to something a little more accomodating than 18? I was thinking that my cutoff should be more like 15… Bump for more ideas!

    Post # 4
    Member
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Hmm that’s really tough. Honestly I’d say that if people are flying in from another country, it would be a lot to ask them not to bring their children. How many other kids would it mean total if you sucked it up and invited kids? If it would make it an insane amount of children then perhaps you could just make exceptions here and there for extenuating circumstances (i.e. people coming from a whole different country to attend your wedding). In that situation, people should understand that it would be impossible for those people to get a sitter or to leave their kids at home in a different country while they attend your wedding. You may get some flack but people need to just understand these things. That being said, if you are deadset on no kids (which I understand because we’re not having kids at our wedding) then just impose the 18+ limit and see how people react. Some people will probably decline because of it but if you’re OK with that then do what you want.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I say 18+.

    We’re having no kids, but one of my BMs is 15.  So we’re doing 15+ and that’s working out well so far.

    Post # 6
    Member
    369 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @hotchild, yeah I am doing the 15+ mostly for the fact that I have a few siblings that should not have to miss out on my wedding. I’m thinking kinda along the lines of PG-13 haha. Hopefully parents of the younguns will understand!

    Post # 7
    Member
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @ToasterCat: It’s just a perfect excuse.  If someone asks, I can just say the youngest Bridesmaid or Best Man is 15 so that’s our cutoff point.  Our reception is formal and evening and just not for children period.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @texasmeredith: We’re saying adults-only.  I just have the excuse primed in case anyone asks, “Well why does XX’s daughter get to be there?” (my cousin the BM)  Honestly, we’re only going to have two teenagers anyway (both in the wedding party) so it shouldn’t make that big of a difference.

    Post # 10
    Member
    369 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @Texas – Holy Moly that’s a lot of extra kids! 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1147 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I would invite the family and if people ask about it just tell them that you didn’t want the family to have to be split up. If nothing else they could bring all of the kids and you could set up a night of movies and games for the two younger ones as they most likely won’t want to be at the wedding anyway if it’s that formal.

    Post # 13
    Member
    149 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I had this situation come up… we are doing an “adults only” reception because we want our friends and family to be able to enjoy themselves without having to retire early because of sleepy kids. This made an awkward situation with my Dad’s cousin who has 5 daughters. 3 of them are over 18, the younger 2 are 13 and 6.

    I sent seprate invites to the girls who are over 18 (2 live at home with mom – one actually lives with my parents while she attends college in their city). I called the mom before I sent out the invites and explained the situation – she was very cool about it. Asked if the 2 younger girls could come to the ceremony if they expressed an interest (sure!) and moved along.

    May not work in more uptight families, but it worked out alright in this case. Good luck!!

    Post # 14
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We’re also on the 15+ train, although we’re wording it as “high school children of local guests are welcome to attend” on our website. 🙂

    Our ‘rules’ are kind of convoluted though – we also said Out of Town guests can bring toddlers and babies, because I’d rather they come with kids in tow than not at all.

     

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