(Closed) How should I handle this? Please help!!

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: What should I do?
    You are over-reacting. Let him wear whatever he wants. : (16 votes)
    22 %
    Offer to pay for the rental to see if it sways him : (43 votes)
    60 %
    Ask another family member to approach the subject. : (10 votes)
    14 %
    Other - please explain below. : (3 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    681 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    If your wedding is formal then I would offer to pay for the rental and see if he changes his mind. However, all of the groomsmen in my wedding are wearing tuxes but I told FI’s dad that he could wear what he wants. He is a vet and all I’ve ever seen him in is kahkis and polos ha ha. I want him to be comfortable… but my wedding is NOT formal at all.

    Post # 4
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think you just have to decide whether its truly that important to you, and if truly in the end it will matter to the overall outcome of your day. There are so many more important, more noticeable things to worry about, this probably feels bigger now than it actually will be on the day. Also, if your Fiance and his dad aren’t close, you may be putting your Fiance in an awkward position for something trivial.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    To me this is one of those things that doesn’t matter in the long run. Who cares what he wears? Isn’t it more important that he enjoys himself at his son’s wedding?

    Post # 6
    Member
    2711 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    You can offer to pay for it and see what he says.  But if he doesn’t want one then just let him wear what he wants.  It’s not a big deal. =)

    Post # 7
    Member
    339 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I would explain to his dad why you would like him to wear a tux and see what he says.

    To me this would be a VERY big deal since I am the kinda person who thinkks about the fact that allof the family pictures would look silly with your dad in a tux and his in jeans. BUT I also plan to have and hang a big picture of Me Fiance, FI dad, My mom and dad and our son in my house.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee

    OP, so funny b/c I had a very similar situation!  All of our groomsmen are wearing tuxes and I really wanted both my dad and FH’s dad to wear tuxes, but FH says his dad will not want to wear one….I was disappointed at first but then I’m like ok whatever!  It’s going to be fine.  Of course the dads are important members but the focus will be on YOU all day so it does not matter what the dads wear! 😉

    Post # 9
    Member
    140 posts
    Blushing bee

    I would be annoyed! It’s one day. Yea, you want him to be comfortable and enjoy himself, but those photos will be around forever! I mean, I feel like he is the one being inconsiderate, not you. If he was not in the bridal party or pictures I wouldn’t care, but jeans? Really? At LEAST wear trousers. I would kindly ask, and offer to pay, but you’re right. In the long run it’s not worth making anyone upset over. But I would bring it up. Once, then let it go. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @HelloSweetie:  I agree.

    I think that the problem with this isn’t really your pictures, but the fact that your Father-In-Law is going to look…foolish wearing jeans (who wears jeans to a wedding unless they have been told too because of the level of formality???  I seriously don’t get this!) when all the other men in the bridal party are in tuxes.  If the rest of your wedding is formal, it will be even more noticable.

    I’ll be honest, I don’t get why people would want to be so under-dressed as to draw attention to themselves.  And people will comment.

    You can’t do much if he decides to dig his heels in.  I think that your Fiance (or his mom maybe?) can say that everyone else in the bridal party, including your dad, are going to be wearing tuxes.  Offer to pay.  Perhaps offer to compromise on a suit.  If he doesn’t agree, let it go.  Unfortunately, Father-In-Law is the one who is going to look like a fool, but that’s his choice.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    Ultimately about the only thing you can do is offer to cover the rental … and, if he refuses, ask that he stands in the back row in all the pictures!

    Post # 12
    Member
    1414 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Offer to pay for the rental to see if it sways him…..

    Post # 13
    Member
    408 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think you could offer to pay for the rental, and include him in the process of picking a tux, so he can maybe find something he thinks he’ll be more comfortable in.

    Post # 14
    Member
    312 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @ArwenBride:  I agree. He’s going to look so out of place. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1072 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would say offer to pay for the rental and see what happens, If not insist on a suit or jacket at least. My Future Father-In-Law is similar to this in a way. I’m haveing him, my father, FI’s step father and my godfather all wearing dark suits. I have alos purchased ties in our wedding colors for the four of them to wear. He is the only one giveing me trouble about the attire. I told him its all I’m asking from him on this one day its the least he can do. If that dosn’t work I’m getting his sisters involoved they love me. 🙂

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