Post # 1
Which idea do you like better? My boys will be 6.5 and almost 5 at the wedding.
A – They walk me down the aisle and "give me away"
B – They are the ring bearers
I’m torn on what to do. I’m afraid if I go with A my stepdad would be hurt because he wouldn’t be walking me down the aisle (he did at my first wedding) and I’m not sure I like the idea of my boys "giving me away" – I’m always going to be their Mommy – you know!
If I go with B I wonder if ring bearers are an important enough role for them?
FWIW – FI’s son and daughter are going to be a groomsman and bridesmaid respectively (they’ll be 8 and 10 at the time of the wedding).
I’d love any advice or opinions!
Post # 3
I love the idea of having your sons walk you down the aisle. It’s a question of whether or not you want to share the spot light. They will also need to understand that they will need to let go of you and give you away to your FH.
Either choice sounds wonderful though.
Post # 4
Alas, my son at 10 is too old imho to be ring bearer, but he and my grand dad will walk me down the aisle.
If he were younger, I would make him ring bearer.
I think your boys should be co-ring bearers with one carrying the bride’s ring, and the other the groom’s ring!
They will be adorable.
Post # 5
I’ve seen some beautiful weddings where the "step parent" and children actually exchange some sort of vows celebrating the union of the new families.
Also, why not have your sons as your "bridesmen" instead of the traditional wedding party. You dont just have to have boys on one side and girls on the other. I think it would be extremely touching for you and your new husband to be surrounded by your children as a new family unit.
Post # 6
I think walking you down the aisle would be really sweet and make them feel like a bigger part of the decision.
Post # 7
Post # 8
My boy/girl twins are our flower girl and ringbearer. I have thought about my son walking me, but then again, like you said, I will always be his mommy. I also had similar, but different, feelings about my dad. He has already given me away once-I’m 38 and living on my own, own my home, etc. so he’s not giving me away again. I thought about walking myself and quickly decided that was not a good idea. My (he considers them his, so therefore ours) children are also lighting my candle for the unity candle ceremony & then I am lighting our unity candle with him. My parents are going to help the twins with-twins in a church surrounded by florals with an open flame-yeah, they need some assistance! 🙂 I think you should do what you like & I also really like the idea of both of them being ring bearers-one carrying each ring. That is a good idea!
Post # 9
I think being ringbearers is a important enough job for them. My 18 month old son was ours and my 13 year old daughter was a junior bridesmaid that walked him down the aisle. We also did a Sand Ceremony as a symbol of uniting our family and it turned out great.
Post # 10
I second the sand ceremony – have you considered having them walk you down the aisle, and then taking part in the sand ceremony? I’ve found that kids LOVE being able to play with the sand and be as involved as possible with the wedding. Plus just think of the awesome photo’s you’ll get with them "escorting!" you down the aisle!
I know there’s an age difference, but when my mom and stepdad got married (I was 17), I walked my mom down the aisle, and it was a really, really sweet moment.
Post # 11
If a child is old enough, I think another aspect is to ask them how they’d like to be a part of the wedding. I asked my son and he said he’d love to be the one walking with me, and that he’d love to be a part of it and wear a fancy tuxedo! He said he was too old to carry the ring, but would like to do something else. He asked me who does what in a wedding and I told him the roles and what they did. He asked if there was a "best boy" instead of a best man and I said we could consider that newly created role too!
Sometimes we have to acknowledge our kids are really creative. My son said he’d like to say a few words also (he’s a teriffic child, very bright and loving) and I feel comfortable in letting him do that, providing he writes them down first so he doesn’t forget..
Let them find ways to be creative. Whatever makes them feel excited and happy about your new family coming together is fantastic in my opinion! This day is all about your new marriage, but also about the love that just grows exponentially because it’s about a FAMILY coming together.
Post # 12
My boys are a bit older at 9 & 11 respectively and have already asked if they are going to be part of the ceremony.
Elder son has said that he wants to walk me down the aisle because, "I’m the man of the family and I’ll be trusting B. to take care of us now." Obviously, the officiant’s line will be tweaked a bit to account for this – it’s not that Elder will be "giving me away", instead he’ll be entrusting me to B. We’re still working on the wording.
Younger son has dubbed himself the "Master of the Rings". He’ll stand with the groomsmen.