Post # 1
My husband and I are having a housewarming party at the beginning of March. We have invited singles, childfree couples and couples with children. We called it an “adults only” party because we have a small house with lots of antiques, our house is not baby-proofed and we just didn’t want to worry about having kids in our not-very-child-friendly house.
We sent the Facebook invite out at the end of January, because we wanted to make sure that our friends with kids had a good amout of time to arrange for childcare, if they decided that they were coming.
We got a message on Saturday evening from one of the couples with young children, asking if the wife could bring the kids to the party from 7:00 to around 9:30 and that the husband would pick them up when he gets off of work. Their kids are three and under two. Honestly, I’d be fine if our other friends brought their older kids, but we said “adults only” because we didn’t want to leave room for discussion or confusion.
I haven’t responded yet, because I’m annoyed and I don’t want my response to convey that tone. I could say, “our house isn’t really child-friendly,’ but I know she’ll say that she’ll just keep them with her, which I know won’t happen. Her husband is my husband’s good friend, so I don’t want to cause a problem. My husband is non-confrontational, so he’s not much help with the response.
Any help would be appreciated. Thanks!
Post # 2
I would politely say that while you love children and enjoy spending time with them, this party is unfortunatly not child friendly, or appropriate for kids and that you hope they will understand!
Post # 3
Let her know that while you love her and her kiddos, you can’t bend the rules for just her kids. It’s not fair to the other parents. There are multiple reasons you wanted this event kid-free. Let her know she is more than welcome to come late at 9pm (assuming you think the party will still be going then), and you’d love to see her!
Post # 4
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
I’d say that since you’ve requested other couples with children to find childcare options, it would be unfair to them to make an exception for one family, but you’d be happy to have them stop by (either one or both of them) after her husband gets home from work.
Post # 5
I would just say “I’m sorry. We are unable to accommodate the children. If that means you will be unable to attend, let’s make alternate plans to get together soon.”
Post # 6
youngbride2012 : mrsaime : MiniMeow : julies1949 :
These are really great suggestions; thank you! I already feel some of the tension leaving my body.
Post # 7
RoseAdore : Housewarming parties where I live are normally family friendly afternoon events where people casually drop in for just a bit, but it seems like you’re doing a more formal evening party so I don’t get why the mom isn’t even asking. 2 kids at a party way past their bedtime by 9:30pm is absolutely asking for disaster and is something I wouldn’t compromise on.
You’ll probably cause a bit of a tift, but I would say the party atmosphere isn’t kid appropriate, but you’d love to have them over on x date for pizza with the kids.
Post # 8
litttlemisslamb : I agree. If it were midday, I could see a bit of a compromise. Little kids won’t do well that late in a house full of antiques.
Post # 9
The above responses are good. Don’t make excuses that will allow her to counter with options. Just tell her the party is for adults only and unfortunately the kids won’t be able to attend. Leave it at that.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
I would let them know that the party isn’t for children it’s an adults only party. Remember your house your rules
Post # 11
RoseAdore : some parents never cease to amaze. How rude and pushy can she be? Thinking it should be ok to bring (her super speschal) kids to a no kids event! Wtf! I wouldnt worry about letting her see my annoyance as she had no problem rudely asking if she could keep her kids at your adults only event for over 2 1/2 hrs!!! Trust me, if you give her *any* leeway, she will insist they’ll be “no problem” and show up with them. She’s obviously an oblivious asshat…
Post # 12
RoseAdore : I think the problem is that you called it a house-warming party. I don’t suppose you’ll be having another house-warming party anytime soon, but in case it’s helpful for any other bees, if you don’t want kids there, call it a cocktail party. There’s really no benefit to calling it a house-warming unless you’re hoping for gifts (in which case, ew). Everyone who hasn’t seen the house yet will be excited to see it, and nobody should question why their kids can’t come. Win-win.
Post # 13
- Wedding: December 1969 - City, State
Daisy_Mae : Actually, the problem is her rude friend who is putting her in an awkward situation. People don’t need to label their get togethers a certain way in order to subtly let people know it’s adult only, especially if they were specifically made aware of that on the invite.
Post # 14
litttlemisslamb : your experiences with housewarming party Is interesting. where I’m from there often is a housewarming party for a family members with tea and biscuits but the one for friends are known for being boozy affairs that last late to the night. it is fun to hear how certain parties give a different image to others.
Post # 15
leembee : Ok, sounds like you enjoy drama and exerting your authoritay, so you are free to tell people their kids can’t come to a type of party that most people consider a family affair, and then bitch about them when they argue about it. Me, I enjoy making things peaceful and fun, so if I don’t want kids around, I’ll take the easy way and give the party a label that will encourage people to look forward to a child-free night out.