How soon after getting married did people start mentioning kids?

posted 1 week ago in Babies
Post # 46
Member
7233 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ha! We were being asked that question before we were married.

Mother-In-Law and her SIL both got pregnant almost immediately after the wedding so there was a lot of talk about us “keeping with tradition.”

Five years later and no kids in sight for us…

Post # 48
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

lol before the wedding, during the wedding, and every conversation after it seems. Only got married two months ago, but everyone starts with ‘how’s married life?’ only to immediately not care and move on to ‘so..kids? when? now??’.

I’ve been pretty vocal my whole life about not even being sure if I want kids, but even without that, come one people let us bask in our new marriage for a bit before trying to rush us off to something else!

Post # 50
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Immediately after for most. Before the wedding with some (*my mother*.) My mother would start contemplating how cute potential babies would be after seeing pictures of guys I was dating once I graduated college. 

Post # 51
Member
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

missviolet92 :  Ha!  We got asked during our wedding, my Father-In-Law, dad and Maid/Matron of Honor made mention of it in their speeches, and my Mother-In-Law, grandma and father all enquired about it on the morning after the wedding.

I’m of the unpopular opinion that it’s fine for your nearest and dearest to ask these questions (don’t like it when strangers or co-workers do though) so we just laughed it off and said we are buying a house first!  

Post # 52
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

No one really asked us, which was great. People ask about #2 all the time though! 

Post # 53
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Before our wedding! LOL! I couldn’t believe it! We were married a year in April and my husband is going back to school in the fall so the questions have finally stopped but I was surprised we were young-ish (for our area and friends/family) 27 when we got married and I was so surpised people were asking so often.

Post # 54
Member
3089 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Possible trigger warning for some.

Lol, kids were brought up before we were even engaged by family. The first time we went to meet his side (which essentially means you’ll be engaged as you don’t really meet traditionally unless marriage is the intent next), a family member started a rumor that we had a baby and were coming down with the baby. When we first walked in, his very elderly grandmother kept asking where is the baby and the family member responsible for the rumor said miscarriage before my husband could even make sense of where the baby part even came from let alone then the miscarriage comment…I didn’t know what transpired luckily till after we left when I got the translations of what went down since I was not fluent in the language. My now husband corrected it and stated there was no baby but, yeah, was a mess.

All throughout our engagement we had family on his side left and right making comment to have a baby soon and wishing me twins/triplets (insert heavy sigh).

After we got married, it’s essentially something that comes into any conversation if we see or speak to family. Also had extended family bluntly ask if we were pregnant yet or had one yet on facebook posts.

Depends on how I’m feeling, I’ll either nicely explain we’re focused on other things right now mainly my degree being finished or I’ll just give a simple no. If they push beyond that, I generally change the conversation and continue to ignore it. For the twin/triplet comments, I actually just switched to wishing the same back to them which usually ends funny.

From my side, children were brought up once we were engaged but it was more so negative comments and telling us not to have children lol.

Post # 55
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Even before we were engaged people at my work would ask when I was going to get pregnant. I have told my co workers we don’t want kids over and over. Now that I’m married it’s gotten worst. At least 3 times a week in our morning meeting someone asks. I literally want to scream and yell that I already told them a million times we don’t want kids. I don’t get why they can’t accept that I don’t want kids. I have asked them nicely to stop asking and they continue to do so. It literally is the most annoying thing.

Post # 56
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017

missviolet92 :  BEFORE we were engaged I was getting comments from DH’s sister in law and my coworkers about having a baby. Once we were married, the comments about “when you have kids” ramped up. And now that we moved into our forever home (5 bedrooms), people are like “GET GOING NOW”. It doesn’t help that we’re in our mid 30s so people are all “omg you’re clock is running out”. 

Post # 57
Member
800 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Tizer Gardens/Carroll College

missviolet92: Oh honey, I had people asking me when we were having kids before were even officially engaged. And I was like, that’s really meant to ask someone that. And I said to their faces. Because if you can be rude enough to ask a dumb question about procreation, I can be rude enough to call your rude ass out about it. For me it’s like, I’m 38…  if I were going to have kids, I probably would have done it by now!

Post # 59
Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee

We’ve been married 2 years now and no one has ever mentioned having kids to us. I’m pregnant now and people’s reactions were shock and surprise that we were even trying ‘so soon’ and ‘so young’ (27/28). Its unusual to have kids under 30 where i’m from. 

Post # 60
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I’m not even married yet and my dad harps on and on about wanting to become a grandfather and about how all his friends and siblings have grandchildren except for him haha. I’m still under 25 so I just don’t feel any kind of rush although we do have an agreed upon timeline for when we would like to TTC. For the most part the rest of my family and my friends don’t really mention it, just my parents but I guess it might change after we’re married.

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