(Closed) How soon after you are married, will you try for children? ….

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee

It’ll be awhile for us. I want to finish school before I have kids. I’m not sure how long that will take at this point. I do hope that we can have our first child before we’re 30 though!

Post # 4
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well I can only speak from experience..I’m already a mom so we’ll already have one!  We are discussing a possible second..but I"m an older bride so we’ll just wait and see.

I think it’s important to have couple time and allow for time to just be married.  Adjust to the new lifestyle and also maybe save up a bit (kids can be expensive!).  The first year of marriage is a new change and I think it’s important to sometimes just "be" a newlywed couple.  Before I became a  mom, I travelled.  I saved up money too.  When that time came around I was ready 100 percent.  If my guy and I do decide for another child, then it will only be after at least six months married but preferably a year..we’ll see if my body can handle that then.

I wouldn’t rush things unless you’ve:  1)lived together already so you’ve had the adjustment in lifestyle 2)had ample "couple" time 3)travelled (just something I feel is important and fun to do b/c when you’re new parents it’s difficult to arrange) 4)your body and health dictate that your body or health says you have to start trying soon or else (endometriosis or some situation your doctor/ob informs you of)

Post # 5
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We are probably going to wait a year or two at least before we try to have children. We will be 23 and 25 when we get married so I’m hoping by the time I’m 26 to have one, (I’m the 23 year old).

Post # 6
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

My biological clock is just ticking away.  I’m not even joking, I see babies, or pictures of babies, or think about babies and my ovaries start just twitching.  Luckily my Fiance is ready and willing, so we’ll probably start trying around the 6 month-1 year mark…we do want to take a little time to be married!

Post # 8
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It’s going to be a while, we’re both pretty iffy on kids. I think we’ll probably have ’em but not until I hit 30 or later is the plan. I’m pretty sure we could both be competent parents at our age, but I want to travel and make sure we have stable incomes, etc.

amandopolis- I feel you. Only recently has this started happening to me, although to a lesser extreme. It’s more like I never thought about having kids, but when I see pictures of babies I kind of can see myself with kids and think you know, maybe I could do the whole family thing.

Post # 9
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have to be honest.  I love babies.  T has a young daughter and I get to spoil her rotten (along with my son and his son to)!  I do and might love another baby (he might too) but we’re having fun now.  Our kids are old enough (except for daughter) to  ride all the rides at theme parks, go away on long vacays with family, and old enough to successfully stay with grandpa or grandma when we’re on couple trips.  No more diapers right now.  (she is almost four) and we have somewhat of a good level of couple and family freedom.  We’d have to scale back on our travel and a few other things if we had another.  Cooperatively we’ll have three kids. 

But we LOVE kids!  We’ll just cross the bridge when we arrive at it..and then decide.

 

Post # 10
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

we will try asap, I am turning 39 this year and really dont want to take fertility pills and have octuplets, he comes from a small family just one sister and no nieces and nephews and really wants kids, so  we want them as soon as possible

Post # 11
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We talk about this once in a while… we go out to dinner all the time and love to do things on a whim–usually small stuff (let’s go for happy hour tonight!) but sometime big stuff (I booked us a four day trip to Cabo, pack your bags!).  And we fully realize that this aspect of our life would probably change if we have kids.  So, we’re definitely in no hurry, but he’s already 36.  I am only 26, so I don’t feel any rush.  Ugh, I don’t know!  

Does anyone else not know?  I don’t have a plan and neither does my Fiance, but sometimes I feel like we should have a plan… or like that we should be able to "see" ourselves as parents at some point.  Right now, all I can see is just the two of us, traveling and eating good food and drinking fabulous drinks.  We’re pretty selfish right now!  But I think I want us to have children some day.  

Is anyone else in a similar position–you think you want kids, but you certainly can’t imagine it soon, and actually have a difficult time imagining it at all?

Post # 12
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

hey kara 321,

thats great no hurry, see we already travelled extensively and have had alone time for  2 years, yeah dont feel rushed  you are entitled to alone couple time

Post # 13
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We’ve both decided that at this point in our lives, children are not something we want. Maybe in the future, but not as of now.

Post # 14
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We both want to start trying immediately.  My Fiance is 33, will be 35 when we get married, and according to him, he doesn’t want to be in a wheel chair when our kids graduate from college.  I realize that men have children well into to their old age, but my Fiance feels a sense of urgency.  I’m all for it!  I wanted kids yesterday!

Post # 15
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

We’ll be 24/25 when we get married so I’m in absolutely no rush.  I’d like to wait about three years at least – we’ve got a lot of fun stuff planned for ourselves for the next few years and as much as I love kids, I don’t quite want the responsibility yet!

Post # 16
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - St. Charles Borromeo Church/Jefferson-Orleans North

We are in no rush either. I am still considering graduate school and we want to experience married life together for a few years before thinking about children. 🙂

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