How soon did you meet your SO second/third/fourth/etc time Bees?

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I go ahead and put myself out there now or continue waiting and going through the court syste
    Go ahead, its been long enough. : (18 votes)
    90 %
    Continue waiting until everything is done at the courts. : (2 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    608 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    My husband left me in 2011.  I’m still not divorced!  I finally started dating 1.5 years after he left and 3 years ago I agreed to let my boyfriend of 2 years move in because I realized the divorce wasn’t happening anytime soon and I might as well move on with my life.

    Only you know when the time is right. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    1450 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI

    I started dating before my divorce was final.  Though mine with amicable.  I started with just casual dating after we were physically separated and met someone serious the month after my divorce was final, which took about 10 months. He’s now my fiancé 2 1/2 years later.  

    I’d say be up front about your separated status.  Stop referring to him as your ex a-hole, as that just makes you seem bitter.  I have been divorced twice and my first divorce was DEVASTATING.  I dated casually after being separated a while but it wasn’t terribly heathy.  I wasn’t ready but I was lonely.  It helped.  Therapy helped more.  I married my second husband only 2 years after my first divorce.  This was a mistake, a rebound even.  I needed much longer to heal and ended up marrying a nice guy that was wrong from me and me for him.  It was partially motivated by the fear of being alone and never wanted again.  Don’t fall into that trap. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1220 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    Like the previous poster, I started dating my now-husband when I was separated from my ex. Our divorce was amicable and finalized about 3 months after my current husband and I made our relationship official, so obviously my situation doesn’t mirror yours in that regard. He was freshly divorced, as well, with two children.

    If you feel ready, then go for it. You don’t have to put your life on hold for the forseeable future, you’re allowed to start moving on. I do think it’s very important to be honest about your situation with any potential dating partners. Let them make an informed decision about entering into a relationship with you knowing what you’re currently dealing with.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1220 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    queenie8119 :  Yes, and she continues to be difficult 3 years later lol. But it has gotten better. His children were 11 and 7 when we started dating.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2081 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I started dating about a year after my separation from my husband, about 2 months before my divorce was final. At that point, we had been living apart for a year with no hope or expectation of reconciliation, so I felt no guilt in moving on. My divorce was finalized the day after my new boyfriend (now husband) made Valentine’s dinner for me at his house.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3740 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    I started casually dating too soon after my separation but I was always honest about my status. I met my Fiance 11 months after my separation and 7 months after my divorce was final. I would just be honest with anyone you date, and don’t bash your ex to your dates. The reason Fiance was comfortable with us building a relationship so soon after my divorce was that I had done the emotional work and wasn’t still angry or bitter about it. If you’re still working through the ending of your last relationship, it’s not time to start a new one yet. But if the only thing still being worked out is the divorce details, I’d say go ahead and dip your toe back in the dating pool!

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