(Closed) how soon is too soon?!

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

maid of honor, future husband, fiance!

i think you’ll find that after an initial flurry of trying to plan, you’ll hit a roadblock where you can’t plan anything else for a while, and will step back. that happened to me (2 year engagement here); we can’t even book our venue til may, so i’m stuck trying to think about other smaller details and doing lots and lots of research in the meantime. that way, as soon as i can nail down some more definitive details, i can start booking everything else!

go ahead and be excited. the first few months after getting engaged are really a wonderful period, or they were for me. revel in your excitement and yes, you may be a little crazy, but it’s in a good way – right? : )

Post # 4
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Congratulations!!!!

 Well you seem like you are off on a great start! The best advice I got was to have an idea of the wedding date, size of guest list and wedding budget, before calling venues and pound the pavement. Those are the important overarching factors. This may involve discussion with your parents, future in laws and of course your fiance. This is the time to take into account any traditions (like picking lucky days) and sorting out the financing of the wedding. It’s much easier to have this conversation upfront rather than later on with hurt feelings.

As for lingo, most you will pick up along the way, but here’s a short list:

MOH- maid of honor

Fiance – fiance

Darling Husband – dear husband

Future Mother-In-Law – future mother in law

Destination Wedding – destination wedding

STD – save the date

Bridesmaid or Best Man – bridesmaid or best man depending on the context used

Happy Planning!

Post # 5
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2005

The Lingo is a great way to save time typing, and there have been a post or two on the list of abbreviations. I finally added them to my own site so I would have to keep looking some of them up:

http://lifeseventful.com/newly_engaged/ (Towards the bottom).

As for too soon, it kind of depends on the couple I think. I tell most folks to try to avoid buyers remorse, but to also not wait until the last minute to get things done because of the issues that can arrise in both.

Pros of early: get good/prior to price hike rates on your preferred vendors, have your choice of vendors, not freaking out because you’ve handled things before the six month mark.

Cons of early: changing your mind on anything from vendors to your friendships to your personal taste, finding a better deal/vendor/color scheme/idea.

I’m sure there are more, but it’s a jumping off point.

Figure that most brides don’t find online wedding resources until after they’re engaged, so you have a head start there, and if you’re and avid reader you might be more familiar with the hassels that wedding planning can bring.

Post # 6
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I BET you are not starting too soon.  This is a great place to vent and talk about wedding stuff until you are blue in the face.  I do.  My friends were a bit tired of me too (lol). Maid/Matron of Honor – Maid of Honor. FH – Future Husband (I think), Fiance – fiance’, Bridesmaid or Best Man – bridesmaids, Mother-In-Law – mother-in-law, Father-In-Law – father-in-law.

You’ll love it here.

Remember, with starting early, you get to CHOOSE your venue, not choose between what venues are left available on your date.  YOU choose your date, not what dates the venue has available.  You also can book 2008 rates for 2010.  Book your officiant/church and venue FIRST.  You’ve done the right thing by doing the guest list because it guides EVERYTHING.  Once you have your venue on contract, the rest you can go much slower with and take your time researching and comparing prices.  The best photographers will also book up first.  Lots of info here.

Again, enjoy!! You are among friends.

Post # 7
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I had a long engagement too and really didn’t start booking things until 1.5 year before.   Before that I just did my research.

THe things you want to get a lock-in on early is your venue and photographer. Everything else can wait until 8 months -1 yr before the wedding.

BUT do your research!! Yes, you want to get a good photographer but if you are new to the wedding world you may have no idea what is out there.  Some of the Bees booked the first couple of photographers they saw and had no idea what great photographers there are out there and then regretted their choices. If you decide to change then you lose out on your deposit which can be hefty money.

Personally I’d spend the next four or five months  doing research and then start booking. Especially if you are in a big city. A couple weeks of research isn’t enough to make set decions unless you are from a small town with limited vendors.

And whatever you do don’t go dress shopping.  Styles will change and that dress you love now may not be the fashion 2 yrs from now. Or something that seems new to you will be overplayed by the time your wedding comes around.  The only exception to this I think is to possibly go to sample sales that way you might get a chance to get a designer dress on the cheap.   The same goes for flowers, bridesmaid dresses, colors, etc.  That stuff can wait.  You may be totally digging "gray and yellow" or whatever now, because it’s uber popular but 2 yrs from now it won’t seem as fresh to you and you may want something else.

Post # 8
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

You can absolutely decide what (and who and where) you want – venue, photographer, caterer, florist, band…  although depending on where you live some people may not want to book this far ahead.  We found that in some cases folks who would "reserve" a date a year ahead wouldn’t take a deposit or sign a full-blown contract until closer to the date.  Our florist and cake lady wouldn’t even talk until within six months of the event.  But you can totally do research, look through millions of pictures, order samples…  there are thousands of pictures of wedding cakes alone out there!  This far ahead though, IMO, you would do better to get a set of file folders and just catalogue everything that catches your eye, rather than trying to make firm decisions.  You can go through your files every so often and add new stuff, and throw away what doesn’t appeal anymore.  And depending on your venue of choice, you may find that you have to book a year or more in advance – and then you’ll be one of the lucky few!

Post # 9
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

If you are a strongly decisive person, there is no such thing as "too soon".  I started planning about 14 months before my wedding and I’ve made many changes (printed invitations 3 times, changed my photographer and lost my deposit, etc) so all these "little changes" have added up to a lot of wasted money for me, due to indecisiveness.

The plus side about planning early is that you have first dibs on EVERYTHING!  youre pretty much guaranteed that if you want a particular vendor or locale, its not booked yet.

I would start off by finding the perfect venue for you and your budget, its never too early to do that, and "venues" dont really go out of style.  Naturally, everything else will seem to fall into place.  Hold off on printing invitations, picking flowers, and stuff that has to do with design.  Trends change rapidly, and something thats fresh now might be really tired in 2 years.  My best advice is research, research, research!!!  Dont commit to anything until you feel like you’ve seen everything there is to see.

Post # 10
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

PS – CONGRATS on your engagement, by the way!!! Look at me, all business 🙂

I cant imagine how insanely excited I’d have been if I followed weddingbee even before I was engaged! Isn’t it fun to actually have stuff to post about now?  Yay!

Post # 11
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think it is too soon for certain things like the Ceremony and the Reception sites/caterers.  Especially for bigger cities like Chicago.  My Fiance and I got engaged a few days before Christmas and booked our Venues right away.  Fiance was very pro-active bc he knew that we should try to beat all the Valentine’s Day proposals.  Recently, I read on the Knot boards that all the weekends both Fridays and Saturdays in the 2 months surrounding our date are all booked.  I’m so HAPPY that we have those booked.

 We’ve been engaged for 2 months and have the following booked:

Church, Reception, Caterer, Photographer, Hotel room blocks.

Next: Transpo and an affordable Rehearsal Dinner for the Father-In-Law.

Post # 12
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think it depends on Y-O-U! I am also decisive so I started booking things right away (I had over a 2 year engagement when I started). I still have over a year and 1/2 until my wedding and have already booked my venue, makeup, photographer, DJ, and am currently working on hair and officiant. Actually, our venue was booked on our original date (over 2 years in advance!!!!) So trust me, it’s never too soon!

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