(Closed) How soon is too soon/when is it appropriate to renew vows?

posted 7 years ago in Vow Renewals
  • poll: When is it normal to have a renewal vs. when should WE do it??

    1 year on average

    5 years on average

    10 years on average

    20+ years on average

    1 year for y'all

    5 years for y'all

    10 years for y'all

    20+ for y'all

  • Post # 17
    556 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Normally I think people should wait a while for vow renewals, but in your case I think you should have a beautiful elopement ceremony at a beach or in the mountains, etc. It would be inexpensive, you could get some great photos, and maybe it would help you get past some of the traumas. 

    Post # 18
    9129 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    View original reply
    @ffterwifey:  I think it’s odd to see a vow renewal before the 10th anniversary but in your case a 5 year renewal with just the two of you sounds like a good idea.  Plan a fun bucket list vacation, hire a photographer, and renew your vows during the trip.  Why not Paris or Amsterdam or somewhere equally beautiful and romantic?

    Post # 19
    66 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @ffterwifey:  it’s up to you if and when you decide to renew your vows.  Personally, there is nothing on earth that could get me to go through this wedding planning nonsense again.  To each her own, just do what makes you happy!

    Post # 20
    1589 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Normally I’d say 10 years, which I was I voted. Then I read your situation. I mean you could just do a vow renewal with immediate family or those really close to you (like 10-15 people) any time. I would understand if someone in my family or my close friends wanted to dress up, renew their vows, and host a nice dinner. I imagine they wouldn’t expect another gift. (Though I would do something I’m sure).

    Post # 21
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Seal and Heidi Klum did them every year. Lot of good that did them. Personally I don’t like/get vow renewals. They smack of “nearing/narrowly missed divorce” (ie they have a negative connotation for me, despite not knowing anyone who’s done it in real life). Why not an anniversary party or vacation? That seems a lovely celebration for either just you two or guests or whomever you choose!

    Post # 22
    1680 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @ffterwifey: After reading your update, I think you need a renewal. I don’t think I could bear to look back at my photos if I were in your shoes. I’m so sorry for your losses.

    For your one year anniversary: book a small beach house at Sandbridge, invite your closest to stay with you, buy a long white simple dress, make yourself feel beautiful, hire a photographer to capture the new memory, and promise your love to each other again.

    Post # 23
    1837 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    i think 10 years at the earliest on avg, 5 years maybe for you guys due to your situation

    Post # 24
    3051 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    I voted 10 on average, 5 for you. 5 would be the minimum for me to not think “what the heck, they JUST got married!” lol I’ve considered doing a 10 yr renewal & we’re not even married yet =P I think 15 or 20 is more awesome though.

    Post # 25
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    View original reply
    leahlou:  I kind of think you should do a private one. I think that with so much you have gone through it may be best to focus just on your family. Believe me, my wedding wasn’t the best but the most important thing is that you married your best friend. A lot of people think that a vow renewal is a “look at me” moment and in some cases that is true but actually a vow renewal is a time for you to refocus on your vows and perhaps make some new ones. I am sure it will be a wonderful event and treat it as a special gift.

    Post # 26
    1835 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

    I generally think 20-25 years is appropriate for a vow renewal – as a pp said, I’ve always thought of it as a couple’s recommitment after a major life stage, like becoming empty-nesters or beating cancer. But from reading all of your updates, it sounds like your family really needs something fun to look forward to, so you guys should plan a fun party. Honestly, I wouldn’t even worry about the timing of it, whether it falls on one of our anniversaries or not. DH’s family has been through a lot in the last 2 years, and we try to have dinner parties fairly often to get them out of the house and have some fun. Food + fun music sounds perfect!

    Post # 27
    8573 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    If you are wanting to have a large party, I would say 10 years at the earliest.

    If you just want to have a small little party with maybe your parents.. get all dressed up pretty and have some pictures taken you can do it whenever you feel like.

    Post # 28
    396 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Truth be told vow renewals should be up to the couple. After losing my mother this year and my husband losing his mother in 2012, we were planning one for this year in the month we got married, In light of me losing my Mom in New Year’s Day we decided to renew our vows on our third anniversary to the day. We will have 50-100 people. When we got married it was just the two of us. Now it will be extremely meaningful and totally us instead of the show that so many people put on intially. Being married and surviving hard times is a gift so why not celebrate it when and how you want. I say go for it! 


    Post # 29
    3277 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

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    Post # 30
    401 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: Royal Park Hotel

    View original reply
    ffterwifey:  A vow renewal, sure – whatever floats your boat but to have friends and family there seems kind of weird.  It all sounds very personal and it’s not like you didn’t mean the vows you just took 5 months ago….you just didn’t get the pictures you wanted.

    This is a very personal decision but I don’t think I’d attend a vow renewal for a friend or family member if it was just a year out from a wedding date.  

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