(Closed) How sure were/are you about marrying your SO?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How sure are you that they are the ONE?
    No doubt about it, I am 100% positive that I am marrying my soul-mate : (202 votes)
    54 %
    I have some pre-wedding jitters/anxiety but I'm confident I'm making the right choice : (99 votes)
    26 %
    Honestly, I am/was a little wary/doubtful but I think that's normal : (41 votes)
    11 %
    I am/was scared sh*tless that I was making a mistake : (16 votes)
    4 %
    I just really wanted to get married so I suppressed my worries and took the plunge : (8 votes)
    2 %
    I'm marrying this person for other reasons than love : (5 votes)
    1 %
    It's complicated, please explain below : (5 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’ve been in relationships where I had felt that way towards guys who said they wanted to marry me. Those relationships ended, and now I have exactly 0 doubts about my Fiance. Your case might be different, but that was mine. I hope it helps 🙂

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If there is any doubt in your mind, don’t do it!  When it is right, you will know because you will have no doubt.

    Post # 5
    Member
    9690 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I have no doubts, I’m 100% certain I’ll be marrying my soulmate.  I have no hesitation whatsoever.

    Post # 6
    Member
    873 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I had zero doubts about Darling Husband before we got married.  

    Post # 7
    Member
    1402 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I’ve never had any doubts about my SO, and he has never had any doubts about me.  We fit so well together and really complement each other.  If I wasn’t 100% sure he was the one I wouldn’t be with him anymore.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1849 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Just for reference, I’ll add that my Fiance and I knew so quickly that we were good together, we had to make the decision for him to move in with me or move 2.5 hours away within a month of meeting, and we happily moved in together. (now everyone is shaking their heads at the crazy girl)

    Post # 9
    Member
    492 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I am 100% sure that I am marrying my “one.” We regularly talk about how wonderful we are together and call each other “soulmate.” I love him. <3

    Post # 10
    Member
    2077 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I am 100% confident in my Fiance being The One.

    We don’t agree on everything (even some major issues like religion and how to raise our children- the goofball is terrified of disciplining our hypothetical little girls), but I have never thought, “Well, this guy doesn’t think like me, he can’t be The One.”  He’s my best friend and treats me as an equal at all times.  If I wasn’t 100% confident in our future marriage, I wouldn’t have stayed with him.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1664 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I don’t believe there is ONE right person for everyone in the world.  I think we all have several “soul mates.”  I think there are people out there that I could be with that I would be just as happy with as my husband, and I think the same is true for him.  But I did not feel any doubts or anxiety about getting married.  I don’t know if “cold feet” are normal, but it’s a feeling I can’t relate to at all.

    I think you need to ask yourself WHY you sometimes think he isn’t right for you.  Is it because you think that maybe there is someone else out there in an abstract/philosophical sort of way? 

    Or is there something else?  Do you feel like you haven’t had the chance to be independent, or that you are settling?  Do you fight a lot or have a different vision of how you see your lives unfolding?  Do you find yourself wondering if there is someone else out there because you aren’t compatible in some way or fulfilling each other’s needs?

    Post # 12
    Member
    5371 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    I don’t really believe in soul mates but I have no hesitations about marrying my Fiance. He is my best friend and all I want is to spend my life with him, through all the good and all the bad. I’m 10000000000% sure (:

    Post # 13
    Member
    1417 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I’m not engaged yet but my SO is my best friend. We have been together 5 years, I can’t picture my life without him. We have been threw everything together (deaths,births ect.) And I wouldn’t change a thing.

     I’ve been in relationships where I thought I loved the guy I was with and he even proposed to me, I said yes and the next day broke it off, I couldn’t picture being with him for the rest of my life and raising kids with him.

     I knew maybe a week into my relationship with my SO now and thought wow he is going to be a GREAT husband and dad one day.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1306 posts
    Bumble bee

    I had no hesitation marrying DH.  That being said, was I nervous I was making the right decision?  Heck yes!  But I worry about every important decision I make.  If you don’t take the time to contemplate these decisions you may blindly rush into something you may later regret (e.g.:  Kim Kardashian rushing into her wedding).

    I do think slight anxiety is normal.  You’re making a huge, life-altering committment!  It would be weird (for me) to NOT feel some sort of emotion.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    For most of my life, marriage has been a terrifying concept. I saw my dad go through 2 divorces and my mom go through 1. I’ve seen the ugly side of “choosing wrong,” and I was always worried that I’d make a mistake and end up in an ugly divorce too.

     

    I used to tell my parents “I just wish there was some way to really KNOW that you were picking the right one.” And they used to tell me “when it’s right, you WILL know.”

     

    I’ve ended every single one of my relationships all because of the inner turmoil I felt when thinking of marrying the guys I dated. There was always a bit of doubt…and there was always something (big or small) that I just knew I was compromising on. It’s true — I have never been dumped. I have had 7 relationships and ended 6 of them.

     

    Then, I met K, my current boyfriend. And I happen to know that he’s recently ordered a ring and is going to propose before the end of the year. And I have never been more sure of anything in my life.

     

    I have no idea how I know, why I know, or why my gut-wrenching anxiety that I’ve felt in every other relationship is not there. I knew very early on that K was the man I wanted to marry. I told my parents after the first time I met him…and they actually didn’t think I was crazy. We’ve been together for a year now, and it’s the first relationship for me where a year has gone by SO fast. I feel silmultaneously like I’ve known K for forever and like we just met yesterday.

     

    So, I’m answering that I am 100% sure. If you’re having anxiety and doubts, I urge you to examine them and where they may be coming from. I know not EVERYone is 100% sure before they get married — it doesn’t always mean failure.

    But just like I know that K is 100% the one for me, I also knew deep down before when guys were NOT the one. It’s just sometimes really tough to acknowledge.

    Post # 16
    Member
    6248 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    After 8 years together I am 100% confident that this is the man I want to marry. 

    I don’t believe in soul mates because I think relationships are all about working things out and compromise, but I still voted for the first choice.

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